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I think I haven’t built up the connection yet. It was too early to ask her out.
I am working on it.
Your mother and father sound like my wife and I. I try and express my feelings but it is difficult for me. I have scheduled an appointment with a counsellor in two weeks.
The only positive I can see in this whole mess is that she hasn’t completely given up on us but I fear that I am losing her.
I tried to reschedule for a later date and that was what was off putting.
She is being very cautious she said and she doesn’t want too much pressure put on her. She is enjoying her freedom she said.
I think she means that we are not connecting on an emotional level. I try but I don’t know what to say.
Yes I was quite passive and didn’t say much. She felt suffocated under her own rules.
I don’t know. I feel very lost.
I don’t think I would make a joke about it. I would just initiate the conversation.
I tried to ask her to minigolf. She then said that my persistence was off putting. So I called her later. I asked her what she thought of me asking her and she thought that I had an agenda. The conversation then turned into us talking about us and where we stand. She thinks that we won’t be able to connect but she hasn’t given us a chance to. She agrees that we have both changed so I can’t see why she thinks we are not compatible. She felt suffocated in our relationship, that we didn’t connect but she is going to face the same situation with anyone so why can’t it be me? What is it about me that she doesn’t think is right?
I hear you. Honestly I don’t know when I should ask her out. I can suggest it in a few days time to do something but is it too early?
She saw how distressed I was and yet she hasn’t called to see how I am
I don’t know what to think. I know what I don’t want to go back to the way things were and undo all the work I have put in.
I feel like asking her out now will make her think that I am responding to this and not because I want to see her.
I don’t think I should mention the speed dating at all. My sister thinks that I should just play it cool and see if she brings it up.
I just learned that when I was dating women that she didn’t like it. I just don’t get why she didn’t tell me any of this. Apparently she thinks she tried to talk to me but she never did. It seems like she was happy for me to walk away and not even trying to fix things between us. If she had a problem with it then she still had feelings for me. If she told me I would have listened.
Well a MAJOR kick in the guts. I dropped the kids off to her and she mentioned that she wants to try speed dating with a friend. I didn’t say that it bothered me but she could clearly tell that it did. I asked her if she wanted anything to come from it and she said that she didn’t know. She said that most of these ended in disaster anyway and that she was trying it because she was bored in winter and wanted to try something new and she usually made fun of things like this.
I’ve been looking online and I can’t find anything in her area for speed dating. So it makes me wonder how she found out and where and when it is.
That really hurt. I feel like all my effort has been for nothing. I have been planning on doing fun things with her and I just wish she would wait.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Is she a big social media user? My ex doesn’t like my posts but only because she doesn’t use it much herself.
If it was pushing her away then she wouldn’t ask your friend about you.
No definitely do not talk about the issues that you have now. If she does then try and swing the conversation back to something more positive.
You said that she has a new guy now. She probably only responds to you better during the work day because she is not with that guy. It could mean that he is just a rebound.
Have you tried to ask her to do something fun?
That’s exactly the same thing I thought about my ex and I that we gave up too quickly. She also told me once that she is a different person to the one she was when we first met.
I am doing my best to rebuild things slowly. The important lesson that I learned is that you cannot rush it. If you do then it will only push then further away.
The best thing you can do now is focus on yourself and not talk to her. Reconnect with her because you want to not because you are simply scared of losing her.
