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a.z.,
I truly understand you! I also do things that superficially make no sense but deep in my mind they make sense. I admire what you do/did! In fact, deep in your thought they make sense but they cannot be written down (probably because that is a conclusion of too many ideas kept together)! I believe in long term those actions bring no regrets!
Best of luck a.z.!
Joe,
On the 4th night of my NC, I was terribly obsessed with what she might be doing! I want for a walk around 1 a.m. Then I felt like I should see her car! I spent a half an hour to walk to her house! I did not see her car and got pissed off! I had no other choice than to assume that she has gone to her best friends house who is also a single girl!
There were also other things that worried me. Like she is doing a lot of makeup after the breakup but I assume she’s doing it because she feels rejected (because I accepted the breakup). Or once a friend told me that she saw me ex walking on the street and she is so cute. I felt really bad that she is attracting other boys!
Joe, whatever annoys you, find a positive reason for it and stick to it until your emotions subside!
Joe,
Its all up to you. I believe its good to some extend. Some women believe that having Facebook means being more social but don’t act obsessed in posts/ status updates.
Ms-Marple,
Not everyone who come on this site is 100% sure that they want their ex back! Even in the fiery days of breakup there are a small fraction logic which says that your ex is not the right person for your life. During this NC, this small fraction of logic becomes stronger and stronger while the overwhelming emotion becomes weaker and weaker. As a result, maybe after a couple of months of doing NC you come to the conclusion that break was the best happening of your relationship.
This happened to me on around 65th day. I saw her. This grumpy ordinary girl was a lot different from the “angel” image that I had of her in my head. Moreover, I realized that some of the girls that I flirt with to overcome the pain of breakup are really more attractive than her! WOWW!!
With what you posted, I believe you will regain mental peace soon!
Best of luck!
a.z.,
Sorry for the delay. Last night I told you that I will post here but I was a bit drunk. So I decided to write an update this morning.
I hope you are also doing well. I see you commenting on most of the posts! That’s great! I appreciate that! You make them feel good about themselves and I don’t see you upset anymore about yourself! That’s great!
In fact, there is nothing new. We exchanged some emails about 10-12 days ago. In the last email she had an angry tone and then did not reply my reply on it. Probably, she will be defending her thesis next week. I will contact her next weekend to take some of my worthless stuff. It’s funny but these worthless stuff include, condoms, a deodorant and some free subway coupons. If she accept, it will be my last chance to see her and say goodbye to her. If she was welcoming and there were changes in her plans in not moving to other states, I try my luck.
For now, I have concluded that she is really gone and maximum in 20 days, I will start a NC for ever!
Yeah, lately when I see a girl with positive signs, I talk to her. The biggest change is that when I date them, I don’t wish it was my ex anymore. Day before yesterday, I spent about 3 hours with a girl walking in a famous park on my invitation but last night she said that she already has a boyfriend! A week ago, I got number from another girl but later she went mad and said she broke up recently and is not ready for another relationship! It made me laugh! I was about to invite her to this site!
I think I am doing good! I will glad to hear updates from you! I was also thinking about you when I saw you posting comments! Thanks for being here!
k.w., I believe that a.z. made the best post ever! Do what she said! Stalking hurts! Fortunately my ex blocked me. So I can’t stalk her even if I tend to!
Best of luck!
a.z., I will reply on Steve’s post! I dated some lately but they were all platonic and I was too aggressive to make them run away! See you on Steve’s post a.z.!
Good k.w.! Maybe he is trying to move on! In fact, I am not on Instgram so I have no clue how do people perceive it when someone have pictures with an ex-partner. About Facebook, if I date a girl with pictures of another guy (yet, at least 1-2 month old), I would perceive that they are not dating anymore.
The fact, is that you can’t do anything. So, lets calm down and focus on the plan.
I know. If I was you I would also panic. For now lets see the positive side. He will keep you relaxed! I suggest you to act cool and just watch what’s happening. Yet, I know its really hard to act cool in these cases! Anyway, best of luck in being patient in these moments!
k.w.,
I am glad to you are stronger than before. I wish for day that you become so strong that whatever he delete, you don’t care much.
Anyway, one chance is that he deleted your picture because he can’t avoid missing you. The worst case scenario is that he wants to start a relationship with someone else. Lets not think about thousands of other scenarios that be the cause.
Its okay that you deleted his pictures too. I believe they gave you some ease and confidence that you can also delete him if he annoys you!
I suggest you to continue the NC, even extend it for a week. Then follow the plans in contacting him. After all, we came to this site because our instincts failed to make our relationship come back and now we want to try this last shot!
Best of luck k.z.! Again congratulations on becoming stronger than before!
NO! Don’t wish him anything! I you are really obsessed with it, send a simple happy Bday text after a week or two! Nothing more!
You can find Kevin’s suggestions on Valentine’s day, Birthdays, etc on his site! He says, “No wishes”, for the one who broke up with you!
IA, I don’t know why but reading your post reminded me the fact the she was obsessed with public display of affections. That was cool!
Our breakup happened about 100 days ago and my NC started on it 95th day. Though, we exchanged some email about 10 days ago.
Joe, I recommend you to read some of the stories on comment section of the main site (5 steps….). Kevin was really active about 2-3 months ago. When you read the stories and his comments, you’ll get an idea on how it works. Just like me, you may find some stories resembling yours. I used to read every new story when I was new here. When you apprehend the trend, you can even comment on other posts! 🙂
Ms-Marple,
Your comment reminds me of my first days of NC! It was truly intense! One day I felt guilty; some parts of me was not sure if I was the best. Some parts of me felt angry; she had dumped someone who loved her endlessly. Some parts of me felt stupid; looking for a reconciliation with someone who mistreated me. Some parts of me felt lonely; no more ex, no more being together. Some parts of me felt relieved; we had really rough days lately. Some parts of me felt exhausted; I had worked really hard to make her happy with no reward, of course. some parts of me felt insecure; maybe there is another boy.
Now after 90+ days, I don’t feel much! I simply come to this site to see how are other guys doing. Maybe its just a kind of social media addiction. Maybe I am trying to pick up some points for my next relationship.
I even feel sorry for her for losing a nice guy.
Anyway, best of luck Ms-Marple!
You’re welcome Joe! Probably Kevin is busy. He’s been here for years!
In fact, people like a.z., Edward, Daniel, Steve, Festival David, Rihanna and I have been here on this site for a while. We used to read his comments when he was more active here. I think we can guess what Kevin would recommend to some extend.
You are absolutely right! What matters is what you think!
Stay strong dude!
