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It is really hard to tell why would that be the case but if I have to make an educated guess based on all the information shared here it could either be that he has thought that you’ve given up on him or it is his ego which is stopping him from contacting you.
Again, I dont know if anything else has happened in his life, like may be someone is seriously ill or his workload has increased due to holiday season, etc
That being said, there is not point speculating about it and building up things in your head. Lets try to keep it simple and text him once you reach. If you guys shared good chemistry then 3 weeks is not enough time for anyone to move on. So please try to remain positive 🙂
If he is on your social media then you can always drop a hint over there.
Or just a plain simple text mentioning how you remembered him when you passed a certain place (in your hometown) so he would know you’re there. And then add a line saying hope you’ve wonderful holidays.Yeah am still sticking to my plan. Improving myself for the more than one reason! Immersing myself neck deep in to work.
I agree to the part where if you can manage to break down the walls then she’ll again become comfy around you. But this can ONLY happen if you manage to keep your emotions in check while interacting with her. Trust me it is VERY DIFFICULT. You’ll end up pushing her back further if you sound needy or emotional to her even a little bit.
You can surely try but be very aware of any discomfort she feels and be ready to step back for that moment if that happens before she steps back. At the same time keep doing things which are helping you get yourself back!
Good luck!!
She is confused. Give her some time off. At work you try to be as cool as possible in your behavior. Dont try to get into emotional talks as much as you can. Let her figure out what she wants.
Hi @kneechan, am glad to hear back from you!
Please remember the NC period was to help you build confidence in yourself and in your abilities to show her you have changed. It wasnt a time out period where we just sit. If you felt you’re nervous then you should not have texted her.Also, dont read too much into what her replies were. You cannot expect a reply which was anywhere close to how she used to reply while you were together. It is a good thing she replied as a courtesy. This shows you’re still respected and valued at some level. So lets not throw away this leverage cos you’re nervous. Give yourself a break for atleast a couple of days. Practice the exercise I suggested if you think it can help. If you sounded needy or vague in your texts then she pretty much sensed it. Thats why she might have not replied. Its okay.
Lets get the focus back on you and build yourself first! If you have time then please go workout, play a sport, go out with friends, do some reading, etc to keep yourself occupied and develop yourself.
You can do it! You’ve time and lets try to use it properly.
That seems like a typical rebound situation. It will run its own course so you should not worry about it. Try to take care of yourself right now!
You’re again sounding needy over here. I totally understand that feeling and am with you on it. But during the healing time you cannot think about how to get back but focus more on the healing, for both, and try to respect the time and space.
Dont think as to who has to start mending etc cos eventually it is both of you, if it has to be, together mend the relation. Right now please focus ONLY on yourself. Christmas has couple of weeks which is good enough time.
Good to know that you are improving!
Your purpose is not to show her the “attractive confidence” but to just send a courteous text for Christmas (you’re again overthinking here).Your focus has to be ONLY on yourself everyday! You do what is in your control, rest will fall in place!
Good luck!
Deleting pics is a sign that those pics were bothering her, triggering memories. So that is normal.
You on the other hand have to keep improving yourself to a point where even if you meet her you wouldnt become needy in front of her. That is when you can initiate contact.Trust me, confidence in a man goes a long way in attracting the ex back. Goes without saying the issues which led to a break up need to be sorted too.
Christmas is coming so may be you can always send a text wishing well that day. Once she responds you have to start taking charge of the conversation and control the flow. Dont end up texting for hours but instead text after few hours and reply in a nice, approachable, friendly tone.
Rebounds help in distracting the mind from the emotional surge. Like everyone on this forum will tell, it only works till the romance stage lasts in the beginning and then its back to tearsville! So dont stress over the deleted pics. You’re as it is going to have to start afresh so lets try to accept that those memories might not serve well. If you want you can surely save them on your computer somewhere. It is a personal choice for you and her. Just do not overthink it.
Keep improving yourself and let that show in your confidence.
Good luck!
Hurting is natural, having weird thoughts is okay too. It happens to the best of us.
Try to focus on how you can improve yourself please. Do activities which you like, you’re good at, wanted to do, etcFocus on what went wrong and how you need to improve in that regards. You cannot control what the other person does so you decide for yourself if it is healthy for you to lose sleep by overthinking on what she is up to?
If she decides to even get back do you think seeing you in such state in going to give her confidence in you? No.
So please understand the need of the hour and lift yourself right now.Good luck!
It feels good to know you’re improving by each passing day!!
May be you were forced into this situation but you’re already finding ways to improve and become more positive!! This is the first and the biggest step towards becoming happy again 🙂I guess you’re not at all wrong in feeling that you’ll win her back! I would also agree that it might not be anytime soon but like you mentioned, it’ll probably be at the right time when you’re a lot more stronger to deal with the renewed relation!!
Once it becomes a habit (to be positive in life), you’ll automatically become stronger each day! And trust me on this one, it attracts a LOT of attention! That being said do not forget to improve the other aspects of your personality too. Physical, Intellectual etc
You’re doing great as of now buddy! You’ll be ready lot sooner than you imagine.
I can understand the feeling but currently do very strongly need to focus on proving yourself that you’re capable of being happy without ANYONE in your life. It is a basic human necessity.
May be she is avoiding certain social media platforms cos its easy to know that she is still not over you or may be she doesnt want her emotions do interfere in her studies currently. Right now you’ll get all sorts of weird thoughts and it is natural, let them come, let them go…DO NOT give them too much importance.
Your time to give all of this importance will come once you rediscover yourself. Till then you’ll just be shooting arrows in the dark. You have a goal in mind, lets focus on that instead of allowing these random thoughts to misdirect you.
My courage & my strong love for her go hand in hand so there is no “despite” 🙂
As much as I know of her and myself, I believe strongly, we’ll be together soon! Like I said earlier, am moving on, making myself stronger and keeping the faith in our love to be prepared to face the situation that I envisage might come up in the near future. Being each others strength means both will get tested thoroughly in times to come. Lets see how well we fare!@Spaceman3005 you need to be civil if she contacts you.
You’re hurting right now and most people make wrong decisions during such times. If you dont want to be friends right now that is okay. Take your time and space and get some clarity instead of taking any rash & hasty decisions.
You do NC from your end. If she contacts you then just be courteous but try NOT to discuss about emotions please.You’re not focusing on the part where it is HIGHLY important that you improve yourself. Without that DO NOT expect her to come back.
It looks like there might have been instances in the past (which she might not have told you yet) which are making her change her mind often.
You cannot force someone to love you even though you love them more than anything. They need space and time to notice that. You constantly being available at her disposal doesnt give her the time and space. May be let her know politely that it is better to take it slow cos if she doesnt open up to you now and keeps behaving like this, trust me, later when even a small fight or argument happens she’ll not hesitate to bail out. Am not blaming her but trying to tell you that she is in a different state of mind and it is very important she gets clarity soon.
May be this time you let her know that it is okay to take time but at the same time you’ll also give her space so she can clear her head and open up whenever she feels like. It is not going to be easy but if you want a long term, happy relation then you need to make her open up and help her get more clarity.
