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Deleting pics is a sign that those pics were bothering her, triggering memories. So that is normal.
You on the other hand have to keep improving yourself to a point where even if you meet her you wouldnt become needy in front of her. That is when you can initiate contact.Trust me, confidence in a man goes a long way in attracting the ex back. Goes without saying the issues which led to a break up need to be sorted too.
Christmas is coming so may be you can always send a text wishing well that day. Once she responds you have to start taking charge of the conversation and control the flow. Dont end up texting for hours but instead text after few hours and reply in a nice, approachable, friendly tone.
Rebounds help in distracting the mind from the emotional surge. Like everyone on this forum will tell, it only works till the romance stage lasts in the beginning and then its back to tearsville! So dont stress over the deleted pics. You’re as it is going to have to start afresh so lets try to accept that those memories might not serve well. If you want you can surely save them on your computer somewhere. It is a personal choice for you and her. Just do not overthink it.
Keep improving yourself and let that show in your confidence.
Good luck!
Yeah I’m trying not to overthink it too much. Initially I took it as a sign that she was finally over me and moved on but you’re probably right.
As for confidence, I definitely am noticing improvements in my confidence and overall “individuality.” That is, I’m getting back into the normal flow of single life. I just don’t really know hos best to convey this new sense of “attractive confidence” via text. (As a reminder, she’s in Florida…I’m in Virginia)
Good to know that you are improving!
Your purpose is not to show her the “attractive confidence” but to just send a courteous text for Christmas (you’re again overthinking here).Your focus has to be ONLY on yourself everyday! You do what is in your control, rest will fall in place!
Good luck!
Oh sure! I know the text is not a tactic to exude confidence. I guess in improving myself for my sake, I’m also trying to figure out how or if I even should try to do anything. Or just pull back and do nothing. Let her start any mending of a relationship
You’re again sounding needy over here. I totally understand that feeling and am with you on it. But during the healing time you cannot think about how to get back but focus more on the healing, for both, and try to respect the time and space.
Dont think as to who has to start mending etc cos eventually it is both of you, if it has to be, together mend the relation. Right now please focus ONLY on yourself. Christmas has couple of weeks which is good enough time.
I know. I really need to be working on myself for myself and nothing more. Since it’s finals season, that’s a lot easier. Ha ha.
Also just some more information to add to my story ( I think I forgot to include this), during the fight a few weeks ago she told me that she was actually seeing someone new and was super happy. “Happier than when we were together” she said. This is completely unlile her and our relationship and the way it ended definitely wouldn’t indicate a reason to be nasty like that.
This was immediately followed by her Instagram being made public and her posting A few pics of her at a football game with her new boyfriend.
So my conclusion from this that is that she’s trying to rub my nose in her new relationship. Which, to me, only further substantiates the rebound theory
That seems like a typical rebound situation. It will run its own course so you should not worry about it. Try to take care of yourself right now!
So update…My bestfriend Austin (who is also a friend of my ex) had a convo with her about me and our relationship. It’s as follows:
“I just wish I could go back and fix the part where I had to lose him as a friend. I understand that it’s really hard for him to stay friends with me. I feel like an awful person, and the guilt of everything is finally hitting me full force. He’s right. I gave up on him Austin, but I had a feeling that he wasn’t the one for me…[MY NAME] must feel like the 1 plus years I was with him meant nothing to me. It meant everything to me Austin. He was my first everything. Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did, but I don’t think he knows that. I think he just thinks I’m this cold heartless bitch that wanted to destroy him. I know I have no right whatsoever to say this, but I miss him. No one can ever take the place of your first love. No one. I wish I could tell him that, but he wouldn’t believe me.”
Indeed a good sign but like you said you were her first ‘everything’ and that is why it meant a lot to her. Didnt mention what exactly she misses about you. Also, leaving you was not at all the hardest thing, it is the realization afterwards of losing something good which made it harder.
That being said, it is very clear her rebound is not working and the known comfort of being with you is making her feel more miserable cos she will lose face now if she tries to reconcile.
Am 100% sure she told this to your best friend assuming it will reach your ears and you’ll initiate contact so it will make it easier for her.
Sorry to give you that analysis even though you didnt ask for any in your post.
No! thank you! I was hoping for some analysis.
Idk if it was meant to reach my ears or what. I also don’t know definitively how her new relationship is going. Only speculation.
Idk I think I’m gonna keep on doing my own thing. I’ve gotten a lot better lately about being “okay with being single.” I’m definitely over the hump of moving on.
I fear initiating contact (even a Merry Christmas text) could have the effect of comforting her and prolonging her realization that the rebound isn’t going to work.
I guess i’d have to agree with you on this. Wait out a little bit more for her to realize that the rebound was a bad idea.
The best part is how you’re comfortable being in the current state! Applaud your efforts!
This is going to go a long way in not only getting her back (if you want that) but also to improve the relation!Thanks! It’s been rough but I think things are finally better. I do think that this feeling of her missing me as a friend or whatever is actually her missing me and our relationship. But her current relationship is making it hard for her to acknowledge that the feeling is romantic and not platonic.
I’ll stick to NC since it’s helping me a lot and see what happens.
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