What should I do?

Good to see how you’re getting stronger by the day! This is what NC is to be used for. May be try using the exercise for 5 min everyday and see if it helps. Evenings may be go play a sport, catch up on some good action movies (cannot suggest romcoms for obv reasons). If you like reading, do that. Engage yourself in informative online forums where you can either learn something about your field of study or contribute from your own knowledge. Its a good confidence boost that way.

She will mostly not contact right now since exams can get screwed over due to emotions. But again, it is MOSTLY not DEFINITELY.

My situation keeps getting harder by the day. Her dad is not well, she feels its partially due to her, mother keeps encouraging the guy to become part of the family, social pressure, etc

She confessed again how much she loves me and wouldnt be able to imagine life without me and how big a mistake she did but doesnt have the courage to take a stand anymore. Later came to know am also seeing girls and that made it worse for her. She asked me to give me the girls name as it may help her move on so I gave her a name but am pretty sure it will only add to the jealousy. We ended up kissing.

So, yeah, to sum it up, MESSED UP!
I have to figure out a way to go NC indefinitely gradually since I can feel and see this is not going to end well for all 3 involved in it. For me now its the waiting game. Am preparing myself to be way stronger than I am right now to be able to handle it when things get way hotter than this.

I can understand how it becomes difficult to avoid thoughts when you’re alone and not busy. If you guys are going to meet up at the Christmas party as it is then I wouldnt suggest writing any letter yet. Let her see you face to face and hopefully by then you would come across as a renewed person with some positive, visible attributes she would get attracted to again.

May be, if you want to just give her a heads up, send her a text (if you’re not blocked) saying hi/hello and mentioning that you just wanted to let her know that from your end you are not going to make her feel uncomfortable at the party so hopefully she doesnt worry whether to come or not. This should send some butterflies flying in her stomach! If she does chat a bit more then you should probably be the one to end the conversation to keep the curiosity going.

I was just thinking of going NC indefinitely today. It seems it has come to a point where love isnt exactly a priority for the other person and I should accept that to move on as well.

Its okay to get your friends signed up for some group activity. It shows you’re not still sulking over the past and willing to get your life back on track. Adding her to that group might have given her an impression that you’re doing this to get in touch with her. If this is exam time then am not sure if the timing was good enough. But again, if you guys were pretty serious about the relation then I think she’ll reply sooner or later depending how other things pan out during exam week.

May be try not to get a response from everyone on the group cos it might push her away a little bit. Am sure your other friends will be asking her irrespective about her coming for this group activity or not.

My indefinite NC has begun already. Have to come terms with certain things in life and am okay with the hurt that I have felt. I cannot disrespect her or my feelings for her as they have been true motivation for me so, I guess, I’ll let things unfold on their own while I carry on with my life!

I can understand the feeling but currently do very strongly need to focus on proving yourself that you’re capable of being happy without ANYONE in your life. It is a basic human necessity.

May be she is avoiding certain social media platforms cos its easy to know that she is still not over you or may be she doesnt want her emotions do interfere in her studies currently. Right now you’ll get all sorts of weird thoughts and it is natural, let them come, let them go…DO NOT give them too much importance.

Your time to give all of this importance will come once you rediscover yourself. Till then you’ll just be shooting arrows in the dark. You have a goal in mind, lets focus on that instead of allowing these random thoughts to misdirect you.

My courage & my strong love for her go hand in hand so there is no “despite” 🙂
As much as I know of her and myself, I believe strongly, we’ll be together soon! Like I said earlier, am moving on, making myself stronger and keeping the faith in our love to be prepared to face the situation that I envisage might come up in the near future. Being each others strength means both will get tested thoroughly in times to come. Lets see how well we fare!

It feels good to know you’re improving by each passing day!!
May be you were forced into this situation but you’re already finding ways to improve and become more positive!! This is the first and the biggest step towards becoming happy again 🙂

I guess you’re not at all wrong in feeling that you’ll win her back! I would also agree that it might not be anytime soon but like you mentioned, it’ll probably be at the right time when you’re a lot more stronger to deal with the renewed relation!!

Once it becomes a habit (to be positive in life), you’ll automatically become stronger each day! And trust me on this one, it attracts a LOT of attention! That being said do not forget to improve the other aspects of your personality too. Physical, Intellectual etc

You’re doing great as of now buddy! You’ll be ready lot sooner than you imagine.

Hi @kneechan, am glad to hear back from you!
Please remember the NC period was to help you build confidence in yourself and in your abilities to show her you have changed. It wasnt a time out period where we just sit. If you felt you’re nervous then you should not have texted her.

Also, dont read too much into what her replies were. You cannot expect a reply which was anywhere close to how she used to reply while you were together. It is a good thing she replied as a courtesy. This shows you’re still respected and valued at some level. So lets not throw away this leverage cos you’re nervous. Give yourself a break for atleast a couple of days. Practice the exercise I suggested if you think it can help. If you sounded needy or vague in your texts then she pretty much sensed it. Thats why she might have not replied. Its okay.

Lets get the focus back on you and build yourself first! If you have time then please go workout, play a sport, go out with friends, do some reading, etc to keep yourself occupied and develop yourself.

You can do it! You’ve time and lets try to use it properly.