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Hi @kneechan, good to hear from you.
Did you get a chance to know why was she upset?
Also, it is not a bad idea to ask her for a drink but you’ll be the best person to decide whether it is okay to open up any discussion which can possibly make the evening uncomfy. Be as jovial as you can so that she also feels comfortable opening up to you. It wun be easy but you’ve been really strong till now and dont want to let that effort go waste.Also, try not to be in a hurry to get out of the grey but try to see to it that you make her comfy enough so she feels like meeting the next time. DO NOT talk about other girls or anything. Just about how you have had time to improve on certain things, seeing life in a different way, etc so she doesnt feel blamed for anything. During this if you think opening the topic to clear some air will be taken well by her then sure go ahead.
Good luck buddy!
Hi @kneechan @amcee,
On the 22th of January I wrote a really long post. You guys propably didn’t see it bevause I forgot to tag you. Could you guys give me your toughts because I could really use some help. Also @kneechan I really think we are in a similar position. I haven’t talked to her for awhile but I just know that if I would she would just answer and nothing more, I hope I’m wrong but like I said in the other post when I send her a text she answers but nothing more. But she still gives me mixed feelings and I know I should not think about it that much but she keeps being the one who constantly sees my story updates on Snapchat first. She also still likes the photos of my best friends, who she knows I’m really close with, even if I am on that picture. I also got my grades for school today. They are not good, but not good at all. I tried my best to work as hard as I could but I just could not get her out of my head. Anyways I hope you guys are doing well.
Simon
@Simon, sorry to hear about you and your ex. I did go through your story but couldnt understand the reason for break up so it is difficult to say anything. You have mentioned that you did some mistakes but please understand that working on the behavior which will never again encourage those mistakes is important just as much as realizing the mistake.
Also, if possible please do post your story as a separate thread so many others can read and suggest. We dont want to hijack @kneechan’s thread. All of us have our own set of problems and are here to help each other out 🙂
Hi @amcee,
I’m not sure if you were asking if I knew she was upset when I saw her, or if you were asking if I knew why she was upset with the relationship. If it was the latter, I believe the main reason why she was upset because I did not give her enough emotional support and I was passive aggressive. Going down this path, I do not want to give her even the slightest idea that I am passive aggressive.
I messaged her earlier today asking her if she had some time next week to meet up, but she replied saying sorry no my upcoming month is pretty busy. I really am not convinced that her entire month is busy, because there is no way that every single one of her days are filled to the brim. And the fact that she did not suggest an alternative nor did she ask why I wanted to meet up makes me believe that she is still not ready to meet up. What are your thoughts?
Thanks,
KneechanPS. @Simon, I have read your messages and I know what you’re feeling. If you want to copy and paste what you’ve written onto another post and tag me in it, I will gladly continue this conversation in detail. In short though, I believe she is just as confused as you are. If it is anything like my relationship, it’s because she wants to focus more on herself than anything. Being a person of many talents, she cannot allow her emotions to get in the way of success. I can’t guarantee that you and her will get back together, but I believe if you work on yourself and better yourself, your confidence will come back and she will notice once you guys talk again….later in your life. I, too, want to speed things up but if you really love her, you’ll learn that this is the sacrifice we all have to make. Patience is a virtue, so be patient and continue to work on yourself. You’ll feel better and be better.
Also @amcee, reading @simon’s message, if she is not a fan of meeting up, should I just write her a letter telling her that I’d give her all the time in the world and that I’ll always love and care for her no matter what the circumstances are?
Even if there is no proper closure, I feel like I’d be covering everything I want to say to her.
@kneechan, i meant to ask why was she feeling low when you went to meet her and drop off that gift.
Also, clearly she is still not able to process the break up and thus not meeting you seems like the better option as of no. Replying to your messages is good enough. Try not to push her to meet. Get back on her good side by apologizing for making her uncomfy by asking to meet again n again. Let her know how you miss having her as a friend and will rather have her like that and not make things worse. Just for the sake of writing you can do this.
This will keep your window of opportunity open cos she will slowly chat more, open up, may be even ask you to meet up some time in the future. Focus on becoming her friend and that means you have to show her the fun life whether you meet or not.
I hope i didnt confuse you.
@amcee, I’m not sure why she was feeling low…I just saw from her face that she didn’t seem okay. I didn’t want to push it further and I just wanted to drop off the gift so she wasn’t overwhelmed with seeing me.
So what you’re saying is I should write a letter apologizing for making her uncomfy? Or should I just text her and let her know that?
@kneechan, a text should be fine. You dont want to write any more letters and make it very obviously personal everytime.
Text, that too casual, followed by may be a joke or witty one liner. Remember, be a friend first. She has those feelings but you need to direct this conversation in the right direction, and with patience.
@amcee, It feels like she does not want to continue a conversation though. I teased her about her having more time when we were together than now, but she mentioned that she wanted to use her spare time as “me time”. I told her I was sorry for trying to take her away from her “me time”, that I just missed her around as a friend, and that hope that we could catch up when she has more time. She read this about two hours ago and has not replied yet. It may be because she’s at work and has no time to deal with it yet.
This plus the various other times I’ve messaged her and she’s replied with a cold demeanor is super frustrating and it makes me feel like I shouldn’t even try to contact her anymore.
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