No Contact and getting my ex back

Hey, I just read your story. I’m only 17 and haven’t had much experience and i can’t really guarantee that anything i say on here might help you, but i also know that just having someone answer your thread and talk with you can make things better and just calm you down. The first thing that pops into my mind is this. Focus on your child, on yourself, build your confidence. She isn’t the main character in your story, you are. Start learning to improve who you are on a daily basis, this means improving your thoughts, emotions and physiology. Start working out, sleeping properly, feeling good about work and build your confidence. I recommend learning to control your body through proper breathing. Take the no-contact period and make sure that the only thing that you contact her about is your child, because she isn’t your priority in this case, your child is. When she senses this from you, she will worry less and it will be easier for her to come back to you. If you’re calm and collected about everything then there is no reason for things to no workout. Understand that there is no reason to get angry. Anger leads to rash actions that then lead to regret.
You can do this.
I don’t know you, but i believe in you.

@Spaceman3005, you have been given some really good points by @louis!
I’d like to add that it might be good during this NC itself that you take professional help if needed. Sometimes talking it out to a person who wont judge you and still help you figure out the reason behind your behavior goes a long way!

This forum does provide a good platform but most of us arent exactly well equipped to deal with emotions and that is why ended up being here! We learn from our own mistakes and better if we learn from others’ mistakes! Going through certain topics on this or any other forum will help you a lot in avoiding future mistakes but professional help will give you a calculated direction too. I do not recommend professional help easily but in your case a wife and a kid is involved and if I were you, I’d take help from these forums as well from professionals

Am 30 and recently going through a tough time myself. I have realized that women are much more fragile and very emotional on a daily basis. We men are more practical on a daily basis and emotional when critical moments like these arrive. It is a constant effort to narrow this gap in a relation. Love is an emotion and thus we men have to put in a little bit more effort to narrow this bridge! Not like we are not capable but we are just not used to it as much.

Women will give a chance and open themselves up again but they will ALWAYS keep a watch on the smallest actions which might hint towards past behavior which led to break up.
On the other hand sometimes they are so broken that they misconceive an action and connect it to past behavior. In this case professional help can work wonders on both. NC can work in your case better cos you guys have a kid together so sentiments are involved as of now. Very limited scope of a rebound situation I mean.

Good luck!

Therapist is not a necessity if you can have enough self control and self realization. Generally being involved in the situation it becomes difficult for one to become objective and find a solution that is why a therapist helps. In your case I think you should try practicing self-realization techniques everyday and how to be less dependent emotionally on anyone else for your happiness (although your son is enough motivation for you to be happy).

I tried practicing the following 5 min everyday whenever I felt slightly relaxed:
– Sit in a corner in the house with your back supported by the wall
– Close your eyes
– Hear whatever possible sounds you can like radio, children, parents, birds, cars, etc but DO NOT start a thought process after listening to those sounds.

In the last point what am trying to say is just be a passive listener and not someone who gets involved in those sounds and forms thoughts (why the kid is shouting, what parents are talking, which bird it could be, whose car, etc). Slowly JUST FOCUS on your breathing and make sure it is normal and not rushed. Worked wonders for me.

This practice helped me become objective in life situations and thus emotionally more stable cos of which during my ups and downs am able to lift my spirits up relatively easily. Currently am almost in the process of reconciliation but havent raised my hopes too much cos am able to control my emotions not the outcome. Keep the focus on you become more stable and independent. Women like to see that in men.

When your wife sees a mature you, she’ll feel those changes and that the time when you will have your chance to take things ahead. This time will help her also heal from the past experiences. After the healing if she notices a changed you, she’ll be more than happy to initiate future talks.

Good luck!

All the best @Spaceman3005!! It helped me a lot too and hope it works even more for you 🙂

Hey Louis. You seem to have some really good insight and to provide some great advice. Care to chime in here? 🙂 https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/rebound-3/page/3/#post-70796

No think…why would she tell you unsolicited that there’s someone she’s interested in. She wants a reaction out of you. Remember the plan…play it cool and don’t give her the satisfaction. Rebounds hardly last.