He says he would like to get back but…

I’ve just read all your posts here, and I can say that my situation is a bit similar.
The reason we had some fights and broke up was because of my own jealousy and insecurities. I had this issues in my mind that prevented me from seeing the positive in things. It has been 2 months but we’ve also met up twice as I told you before. He doesn’t initiate much but when I’m the one initiating he answers right away! Also I’ve made these mistakes of rushing it and thought that maybe a heart to heart conversation with him would solve everything but in the end I just got hurt again, in the end told him that I still love him and that I want him to be happy.

Sometimes we need to see things from someone else’s perspective in order to understand things better, but you’re the only one who can truly feels his feelings towards you, even if he doesn’t show it.
On our first meeting since the break up he was really cold and barely talked with me, but at our second meeting I really felt something more from him, he didn’t flirt but I could see his look, his smile and his behavior towards me. It really felt like a first date with him. So what I’m trying to say is that you should be seeing things from perspective but also listen to your heart because if you feel that there is something there then there is definitely is.

I understand how you feel, my ex doesn’t show his emotions either, even though he’s doing all this stuff that makes me think that maybe he still does feel something for me. He came to our meeting dressed up nice, acted like a gentleman, complimented my look, bought me a frozen yogurt and insisted on paying for my meal, made up some unfunny jokes to make me laugh, we shared our food like we always did when we were together, even invited me twice to sleep in his house (we live about an hour and a half away from each other) I refused politly so he told me to let him know that I’d made it home safe. After this made these mistakes of getting emotional and hung up on him, even told him once that we don’t have to stay friends but he told me that he’d want to. Then we’ve talked again and I’ve tried to arrange another meeting but he said that he’s going out with some friends to celebrate his friend’s birthday and would let me know if he can. I’m planning to ask him to meet up on another day (wanted this day because it’s a holiday in my country and we celebrated it together last year). I’m really trying not to rush things and stay positive.

Maybe he’s still thinking about it or taking his time to answer? or could be that he’s still confused and unsure like you’ve said. Wait for him to respond and see where it goes. But try not to over analzye it and stay positive.

I’m from Israel, tomorrow is Israel’s Independence Day.

Yes do it! sounds good 🙂

Yes we’ve been talking more these last few weeks, I’m the one to initiate.
He’s becoming really weird lately, changed his style almost completely, and posting pictures on facebook showing off his new look and muscles lol, he wasn’t like this before, he’s acting like a complete different person from what I knew.

@nycor I think first you should check if they really don’t have anything going on between them. I think you should also talk with your friend about it and ask about her intentions for him. Are they close friends? Maybe he did it to make you jealous?

@kaila I know exactly how it feels! You’re finally feeling like your life is getting where you want and that this is your chance to be truly happy with your life and then it all shutters in your face and you realize this was nothing but a dream. I still can’t believe it myself, thinking that maybe it’s all just a bad dream but realize it’s not. I know how sucks it feels when they don’t even try. I believe in true love and when I’m in a relationship I give it my all, maybe that was the problem.
I feel the same but I know that these feelings won’t help us, you need to stay strong and don’t give up now, when I read your post about the meeting I was a bit jealous but also very happy for you, and to think that you’re still feeling this way. I realized things like this takes time. And even if it all seems lost it really isn’t, you still have a chance! If he’s still willing to meet up and talk with you that’s already great! I don’t think you should give up because your situation still seems good!

Yes we should fight and stay strong together! 🙂 I’ve never felt so sure about anything in my life until I met him, I know that we are great together and I’m not willing to give up on it so easily. I still feel insecure sometimes, but I’m trying not to have bad thoughts in my mind. I know that I can be short tempered and impulsive but since the break up I’m really trying to work on that and improve myself. When we’ve been together I’ve always wanted to spend my time with him and haven’t dedicated enough time for myself, I’ve realized that feeling depressed won’t help, also lost some weight, Now I’ve started working out more, eating well, hanging out with friends and trying to focus on my studies. I know that I can live without him, it’s just that I don’t want to give up on him.

Also I’ve been in a long relationship before this one and I know what it’s like to stop loving someone, I can tell you for sure that if you don’t want someone then you won’t be willing to meet up with him, talk with him, or want anything to do with him. I’m sure that if our exes are willing to do all this stuff then it means something.

@oshi

@kaila
Well I’ve talked to them both and they both show a lot of remorse. I have forgiven them both already and told them so. My friend denies ever having any other intention but friendship and she feels terrible that she wronged me despite knowing me 14 years. I told her to never come crying to me to help ease her pains, because she didn’t deserve it. As for him… Idk what he feels persay. I know he’s remorseful and he hates himself but still it doesn’t seem to push him to be different. He says he’s never liked her and that he really truly loved me but wasn’t good for me. Idk if he wanted to make me jealous… It’s possible since he found out I got kissed by this one guy from a friend of ours. (Why I don’t trust people) things were going so well again for us and now this. I don’t think it’s wise for me to pursue or it may just completely unravel me.

As for you kaila… You should focus on you for now. If things are to work they will in due time.
And Oshi you have a point. They may want to remain in your life due to love but make sure that this love is not toxic. I feel mine may head that way so I am asking for space…. That’s what I’ve decided on for now. It’ll be hard but focusing on oneself is the only way to understand what you truly need and want from those around you. 🙂

@oshi

The thing is I don’t think it was because of what happened to me. In all honesty the two of them had just gotten too close over the year when he was dating me… And well she was the main reason I broke up with him. He’s at fault too for never respecting what I felt about him biting and licking her face… I understand he’s friendly, but he would be pissed when I touched one of his friends on the face in a joking “you’re so fat” manner. My own sisters stopped letting him be that way because it’s wrong and well he stopped with one of his other friends because she was dating a friend of his.

This shows that he can but chose not to. It became a blatant disrespect of my feelings…. And yet I was still there for him when he contacted me a month later after the break up. Then all this happens :/ he has talked to me a bit. Even asked to personally tell me first what had happened. And about him being jealous? I don’t know maybe… He did say that well “kari, made out with this other guy” drunkenly when my sister approached him, but he doesn’t remember and I didn’t make out with the guy. I got a kiss and kissed back for two seconds before I was like nope… I can’t because I love my ex.

My ex hates this guy too. Because he didn’t like how this guy always wanted to talk to me, but I was never unfaithful and kept this guy at bay while with my ex. Afterwards well he wasn’t talking to me so it just happened. We have similar social abilities, where people like us and we’re super friendly and we are sociable, but I had respect to not do things that bothered him….

I do agree that I need time to myself. Not even for him to come back but for me to relax my mind and just not fret over the significance of something that may or may not have meaning.