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Hi Leidy,
Thank you so much 🙂 I have to confess I broke no contact yesterday. I apologized that our relationship didn’t work out and asked if we could arrange to get our stuff from each other. He responded nicely but then he said something negative (along the lines of how BS is program is and hopes he graduates) and I sent a somewhat passive-aggressive response by saying he better graduate because he gave us up for it…I know it was a petty thing to say (even though it’s true), so I ended up apologizing. Of course, he didn’t respond.
I think I’m at the point where I don’t know if I even want him back. Every time I’ve broken no contact, the pain of knowing he doesn’t want me confirms that we shouldn’t be together right now. I’ve also started feeling things for another guy, who seems to reciprocate. But I still love and miss my ex. I honestly really wish I didn’t text my ex yesterday so we wouldn’t be doing the exchanging stuff next week and I could continue no contact, but I have to face the consequences of my actions :/ Anyway, things are messy but I’ll get through it. Hope you’re doing well!
I think I’m at the point where I know I don’t need him, but I definitely want him back. However, I know that if he doesn’t want to get back together, then I will find someone just as good (if not better) for me in the future 🙂
The only thing that’s bothering me a little bit is that he’s always so sweet and that he’s still wearing/using gifts I gave him and he still contacts me from time to time. It just hurts to have to ignore him during no contact :/
Yeah continuing no contact! Today was a lot easier 🙂 I also saw him today when I was talking to some friends and (again) I just smiled and waved. One of the friends was a guy, so I don’t know how that will affect my ex (I’ve heard guys can get jealous :P). It was kind of nice to see him because he was wearing a pair of shoes I gave him AND using an espresso cup I also gave him. At least he likes my gifts haha.
I’m to the point where I don’t know if I want to date. I’m kind of enjoying the single life and really want my ex back in the near future. There are other guys I have met or know that I find attractive, but I’m afraid of jumping into something too fast. But at the same time sometimes I want to take advantage of my freedom. Oh to be young (haha).
How are you doing with your no contact?
Thanks 🙂 I think I will start keeping a diary also. Haha I’m glad you and your ex found each other! I also feel like there’s no other man for me. I guess that’s also what I need to tell myself to get through no contact.
Thank you so much for your support. It’s so nice to have someone who can relate.
I understand. To be honest, I’ve been missing my ex more recently (especially tonight) so I’m thinking I probably shouldn’t date. But at the same time, it’s nice to get to know other guys and to know that other guys find me attractive. But I agree it sucks to be in the dating game when you feel like your ex is the only guy for you.
Do you have any advice on what to do when you’re really missing your ex? Or want to text him? Tonight’s one of those nights for me 🙁
Thanks 🙂 I really hope so! And I think I’m going to stick it out and go on a date I already have scheduled for Friday. After that I’ll decide whether or not I want to continue.
Haha yeah it was weird. I thought after a month since the breakup I’d be ready or it would be helpful, but I think I need more time. I don’t think he’s in the same boat as me because he broke up (where as I got broken up with) and he doesn’t want anything to do with his ex right now. However, he has given me good advice about handling the breakup and has encouraged me by telling me that there’s no doubt in his mind my ex misses me, but that I shouldn’t communicate with him at all until it’s obvious he wants to get back together.
Although no contact overall is getting easier with time, there are times where I really miss him and just want to call/text him still. Hopefully after going longer without contacting him will lessen my emotions when I miss him. It’s just hard to know that maybe I’m hurting him because he’s so sweet, even through the breakup 🙁 But I know not contacting him is for the best!
A couple things:
1. The reason no contact works is because “absence makes the heart grow fonder” (cliche but true) and because “the grass is greener on the other side” (humans tend to want what they don’t have, thinking that it will somehow be better). The second part is particularly true for your case because while your ex was with you, she wanted the other guy, thinking he would satisfy her. But now she has him and she still doesn’t seem happy. Long story short, trust in no contact.
2. Is this your first long-term relationship? I’m asking because it doesn’t seem like your relationship with your ex was healthy and what’s more important for you right now is to grow as a person and to improve your relationship skills. First relationships are usually very intense and the breakup usually feels like the end of the world. But you’ll get through it and will probably end up with a lot more self-confidence and self-esteem than before you met your ex! This is the goal of no contact – to become the man of any woman’s dreams. When you get to the point where you feel like you can get any woman in the world, your ex will probably come crawling back (if not, she isn’t worth it!).
Lastly, it’s okay to be sad/angry/afraid and it’s okay to miss your ex. Just believe that you can become the man she needs and no contact will become easier. Believe me, when a girl meets the man of her dreams, she won’t want to leave his side – just read the posts by some of the women on here (including mine!).
Stay positive and keep us updated!
I agree that it was very nice and I know he misses me 🙂 hopefully I can stick it out for another few weeks of no contact!
I agree – if you’re meant to be it will happen no matter what. Hang in there.
I also wanted to give an update on how dating is going for me. So far I’ve gone out twice with the same guy, who also recently went through a breakup. The dates have been nice, but both times just reminded me how great my ex was and how I only want him. The first night, I cried on the way home because I missed him so much, but the second night just made me want to work harder to get him back. Although all of this made me miss him, it also convinces me that my ex means a lot to me and I don’t want him back just because I’m lonely, which is a bittersweet feeling.
Ahhh thank you both! I’m so thankful for you (and everyone else on this forum)!
Patricia12, I think you said a couple things I really needed to hear (and remind myself of daily from now on). I know I’m reading too much into things when I just need to focus on completing NC and working on myself 🙂 I also agree that I was inconsiderate when I got upset in the middle of the night. He didn’t have work that morning, but I know he was stressed in general and I know that I was being very selfish in that moment. Thankfully for me, I know what ultimately pushed him to break up with me and I’m currently working on my issues. Also, don’t worry – I’m doing my best not to chase him! I didn’t even reply to his text about chatting because I made it clear that I needed space and would not respond to his texts.
Leidy1000, I completely agree! It’s nice to know that he was thinking of me, but there’s no way we can just start being friends. I knew if I responded to his text I’d end up getting emotional and probably also tell him that I missed him :/ But I’m sure if you two (and me and my ex) are meant to be together, such a little “mistake” won’t matter. If you can get through no contact from now on, it might even get him thinking!
So I texted him back saying I need space and time so I won’t be responding to his texts, and he said he understands but also said “I am here if you wanna chat.” I think my lack of contact is working but he’s expecting me to chase him. This is a good sign, right?
Hi Saadcrackz,
Thank you for reassuring me about no contact! I almost texted him back last night but I’m glad I waited to get someone else’s advice. I’ll send him that text and give an update 🙂
So I don’t have an update on dating, but I do need some advice on communication with my ex. He contacted me today for the first time since I decided to start no contact – just giving me some updates on his life and asking me how I’m doing – and I’m wondering whether I should reply or not. He’s such a sweetheart that I don’t want to ignore him, but I’m not sure if I’ll be breaking no contact if I just tell him something like I need more space and time to accept the break up (so I can continue no contact without being a jerk). I’ll probably also post about this in the “No Contact” board to get some more advice 🙂
