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Posts
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@ sallys ; I’m glad you texted him to say you need more time and space. His reply of saying I’m here if you wanna chat doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good sign. It might just be that it was a kind and thoughtful way to respond. But you wonder if it means he wants you to chase him. He is the one who broke up with you, so he is the one who should be chasing you if he wants to reconcile!
You gave him his stuff back, but found a few more things he puts off picking up and you wonder if that’s a sign he regrets the breakup. It seems you are trying to read something into every little detail and trying to read or understand his mind and thinking. If you continue to do this, you will drive yourself crazy. Try to take everything at face value!
I respectfully disagree with Saadcrackz about dropping hints about dating on social media. This early on, most often it backfires! He might think you didn’t love him or care about the relationship.
You wrote:”I think what made it bad to him was that it was in the middle of the night (I couldn’t sleep) and he was really stressed with work. He ended up leaving my place around 6 am and from that point forward he started pushing me away.” A few days later he broke up with you. I wonder if you were preventing him from sleeping because you wanted to talk about emotions or something.. If he had to get up for work or was stressed and tired, and if you did that, it was very inconsiderate.
Okay, so he told you many times he has commitment issues. The best thing you can do at this point is to let him know how it feels to live his life without you. Maybe and hopefully he will miss you enough to reconsider. Anything less than his wanting to talk and resolve the issues with you is just showing care and concern, but not the desire to reunite. Continue no contact and be pleasant when you see him at school, but DO NOT chase him.
You can’t talk your way back. He has to make up his own mind, one way or the other! I know you’re devastated and I’m wishing you the best of luck:)
Omg Sally the day you have been waiting for! Your message sounds perfect. You definitely need space to accept the break up. When my ex first contacted me he only wanted to catch up on my life. It sucks they think they can seek a friendship so fast. Don’t let him know your feelings. I made the mistake of telling my ex I missed him on the first text. He just said God knows. I didn’t understand that but I immediately knew he didn’t write to apologize. He only wanted to know if I had moved on.
Also Patricia is right. Just keep doing No contact until he specifically says he misses you. If he does he will say it without you asking.
Ahhh thank you both! I’m so thankful for you (and everyone else on this forum)!
Patricia12, I think you said a couple things I really needed to hear (and remind myself of daily from now on). I know I’m reading too much into things when I just need to focus on completing NC and working on myself 🙂 I also agree that I was inconsiderate when I got upset in the middle of the night. He didn’t have work that morning, but I know he was stressed in general and I know that I was being very selfish in that moment. Thankfully for me, I know what ultimately pushed him to break up with me and I’m currently working on my issues. Also, don’t worry – I’m doing my best not to chase him! I didn’t even reply to his text about chatting because I made it clear that I needed space and would not respond to his texts.
Leidy1000, I completely agree! It’s nice to know that he was thinking of me, but there’s no way we can just start being friends. I knew if I responded to his text I’d end up getting emotional and probably also tell him that I missed him :/ But I’m sure if you two (and me and my ex) are meant to be together, such a little “mistake” won’t matter. If you can get through no contact from now on, it might even get him thinking!
Sally, hes text was very nice. To me it means he misses you. Even just for a talk.
If we are meant to be we will be. No matter the time separated.
I agree that it was very nice and I know he misses me 🙂 hopefully I can stick it out for another few weeks of no contact!
I agree – if you’re meant to be it will happen no matter what. Hang in there.
I also wanted to give an update on how dating is going for me. So far I’ve gone out twice with the same guy, who also recently went through a breakup. The dates have been nice, but both times just reminded me how great my ex was and how I only want him. The first night, I cried on the way home because I missed him so much, but the second night just made me want to work harder to get him back. Although all of this made me miss him, it also convinces me that my ex means a lot to me and I don’t want him back just because I’m lonely, which is a bittersweet feeling.
Omg that sounds awful. Stop dating haha. I will be dating this summer. Im hoping I dont feel like that. Maybe give yourself sometime to heal. And what did you guys talk about? Exes? He is probably going through the same as us. He probably cried his way home too haha. Sorry sounds funny. I can’t imagine.
Haha yeah it was weird. I thought after a month since the breakup I’d be ready or it would be helpful, but I think I need more time. I don’t think he’s in the same boat as me because he broke up (where as I got broken up with) and he doesn’t want anything to do with his ex right now. However, he has given me good advice about handling the breakup and has encouraged me by telling me that there’s no doubt in his mind my ex misses me, but that I shouldn’t communicate with him at all until it’s obvious he wants to get back together.
Although no contact overall is getting easier with time, there are times where I really miss him and just want to call/text him still. Hopefully after going longer without contacting him will lessen my emotions when I miss him. It’s just hard to know that maybe I’m hurting him because he’s so sweet, even through the breakup 🙁 But I know not contacting him is for the best!
Keep up the good work. He will send you an i miss you text im sure. Are you still going to date?
Thanks 🙂 I really hope so! And I think I’m going to stick it out and go on a date I already have scheduled for Friday. After that I’ll decide whether or not I want to continue.
Sounds good. I like the idea of dating, but I don’t think Im ready. Im so picky when it comes to men. I hate doing this all over again.
I understand. To be honest, I’ve been missing my ex more recently (especially tonight) so I’m thinking I probably shouldn’t date. But at the same time, it’s nice to get to know other guys and to know that other guys find me attractive. But I agree it sucks to be in the dating game when you feel like your ex is the only guy for you.
Do you have any advice on what to do when you’re really missing your ex? Or want to text him? Tonight’s one of those nights for me 🙁
The only thing that helped me was writing a diary telling him all I wanted to let him know. I also write to God alot about my feelings and my life. It helps me to have faith.
I still think no men could be perfect for me like he was. I hate the thought of again finding a cheater. My ex before my now ex cheated on me and I just remember how he acted towards me. Thank God I cheated with my now ex haha.Thanks 🙂 I think I will start keeping a diary also. Haha I’m glad you and your ex found each other! I also feel like there’s no other man for me. I guess that’s also what I need to tell myself to get through no contact.
Thank you so much for your support. It’s so nice to have someone who can relate.
Did you continued your no contact?
Thats my only fear that keeps me off dating. I guess my next partner will have to win my heart little by little.
Yeah continuing no contact! Today was a lot easier 🙂 I also saw him today when I was talking to some friends and (again) I just smiled and waved. One of the friends was a guy, so I don’t know how that will affect my ex (I’ve heard guys can get jealous :P). It was kind of nice to see him because he was wearing a pair of shoes I gave him AND using an espresso cup I also gave him. At least he likes my gifts haha.
I’m to the point where I don’t know if I want to date. I’m kind of enjoying the single life and really want my ex back in the near future. There are other guys I have met or know that I find attractive, but I’m afraid of jumping into something too fast. But at the same time sometimes I want to take advantage of my freedom. Oh to be young (haha).
How are you doing with your no contact?
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