sallys

Yeah, I agree that it was teasing and is a bit cruel. I think we both need to set firmer boundaries now that we’ve started talking again.

And you’re right – he still doesn’t want a relationship. I know that he’s conflicted (for example, he texted me all day yesterday), but I ended the conversation around 8 pm because I was going out with friends and also didn’t feel like texting him all night was a good idea. In fact, after I said good night, about half an hour later he changed his profile picture on Facebook.

To me, this is the first sign that he’s trying to move on. The good thing for me is that I’ve already done a lot of the moving on, so even though it hurts that he still doesn’t want me back, I’m not as crushed. And like you said, I just gotta keep working on the things that caused the breakup in the first place 🙂

Great job! I agree that we can’t make it easy for them 🙂

Also, I just wanted to mention that my ex and I had been texting for a day or two after we met at the coffee shop, so I knew he was interested in something. Honestly, I was hoping it meant he wanted to get back together, but more on that later…

So overall, I had a really great time at the party yesterday, but there were some low points for my ex. I knew (and everyone else could tell) that he was following me around and talking to me a lot. He also started touching me a little bit (nothing inappropriate, just flirty stuff). He ended up walking me to my friend’s apartment to use the bathroom, and while we were in there, he led me into one of the bedrooms. At first, I thought, “Oh, maybe he wants privacy to talk” (that was the sweet innocent girl in me), but then I realized he probably wants to hook up.

Which was the case. He didn’t necessarily say he wanted sex, but he started hugging me and tried to get me to lay down on the bed with him. So then I got up and said we have to talk first, and he wouldn’t really say anything, so I basically said you can’t have the benefits of being my boyfriend after you broke up with me.

I ended up getting a little upset with him later, and he apologized. I knew that that’s not the type of person he is and that he was sincerely sorry, so I asked if he wanted to go out and talk to make it up to me – which he did! We ended up going out for drinks and dinner and had a really great time! I could tell he has a wall up between us, but I know that’s just because he’s still confused about the breakup and unsure about me. We also briefly ended up talking about the party and I told him that I forgave him and we don’t have to talk about it anymore, and (for once) he actually said it’s okay if I wanted to talk about it more!

He was also very respectful and gentlemanly throughout the night. I know that the main reason could be that he still just wanted sex, but it was still really nice! And it showed that he is trying. However, there was A LOT of sexual tension between us and as the night went on we both started flirting more and we ended up sexting each other a little bit…

Also, just want to mention that he tried to make it clear that he’s not looking for a relationship with me (at one point, he said our relationship “needed to end” and while we were sexting he said that he wanted to make it clear that this was a casual thing). However, I think this is a normal thing for him to say since he ended the relationship.

Long story short – my ex has mixed feelings and is still super attracted to me. I was able to stand my ground by not letting him do anything physical (except short hugs and putting his arm on my shoulder), but we ended up sexting a little bit. At first, I thought this was a mistake and could set us back (which it still has the potential to), but I’m thinking as long as I don’t give in and sleep with him, this could be good for us? I don’t know, what do you guys think? Any advice?

Update! Today when I was working in a coffee shop at school, my ex came in. I waved and he waved back, then after he ordered he came and sat next to me! We ended up talking for 20-30 minutes – not about our relationship or the breakup, just updates on our lives and some memories. It was really nice 🙂

You guys, I don’t know what to think! I was already excited about seeing him on Sunday at the party, but talking to him has made me even more excited. I can’t help but wonder if he’s closing in, because a guy who he was jealous of during our relationship will also be at the party. (Just to clarify: I never expressed interest in this other guy – we took a class together and worked on homework together because we were the only grad students in the class.) However, since the breakup, he has become the only other guy I would consider dating other than my ex.

Basically, this is a win-win situation for me because both of the guys I’m interested in will be at the party. Obviously, my ex is my number one and I am only interested in this other guy if things don’t work out with my ex and me. Even though I’m not going to jump into anything with either of them yet, the party should be fun 😉

Anyway, let me know what you all think! Any advice from guys is particularly welcomed 🙂

He didn’t contact me and I’m continuing no contact (so we haven’t exchanged our things), which is getting sooooo much easier. I think I’m actually getting over the breakup. I still love him and want him back, but my emotions are subsiding. One of my exes actually texted me yesterday about how cute I was to make a Valentine’s day card for him, which was encouraging because it shows that exes often come back with no shame. My relationship with him was not nearly as good as mine with my current ex, so I’m pretty confident that if I keep moving on, my current ex will come back at some point.

I don’t believe in horoscopes as truth, but I think they have a lot of power if we let them. For example, since your horoscope is saying your love will come back and you believe that means your ex will come back, it will motivate you to work harder to win him back. But horoscopes are also vague…meaning that your “love” might not be referring to your ex!

However, I do believe in some variant of the law of attraction. I think the universe responds to your vibe. So if you’re putting off this amazing, positive, loving vibe, the universe will send you love and positivity. If that’s your ex, so be it. If not, it will be something even better 🙂 This is what I’m trying to do right now – just be the best version of myself possible and then trust the universe <3

So I chickened out on texting him to get our stuff from each other, and he hasn’t said anything either (we were supposed to do it today). To be honest, this is what I was hoping for so I can continue no contact.

I also think I went through major withdrawals over the weekend because I cried a lot. But since then I’ve been focusing on achieving personal goals that I put aside during our relationship, which is actually helping me feel grateful for the breakup.

Although I thought I was starting to have feelings for other guys and have even dated since the breakup, it’s hard to go from someone so amazing and perfect (my ex) to another guy. My ex was everything I ever wanted and his breaking up with me is helping me understand him more. I’m also starting to feel more confident that he will come back eventually. All of my exes before him have come back at some point (usually within a few months), most of whom I treated a lot worse than I treated my ex. And when he does (whenever that is), I think I will know for sure whether or not I want him back. Here’s to staying strong! 🙂

Exactly! I think I will miss him for a long time, but even just texting him showed me that I have things I need to work on about myself before I can get into another relationship. Even though I’m still sad, I’m actually starting to feel thankful for the breakup because I can see things more clearly. I also know that if we really are meant for each other, we’ll come back together in the future 🙂