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Thank you for your response Patricia. I agree with you. But the guy from 2 years ago and 4 months ago was the same guy. We were together for 3 years but we did not get back together. And this one is a new guy that I have been talking to. He didn’t say he loved me in a serious type of love he said it as in (I adore you) type of way. But all in all he’s just not consitant. Consistancey is his problem.
I totally agree. And what’s weird is he’s the one always asking to see me. I rarely asked him and even sometimes I did make excuses to just take a break every now and then. This smoking thing is causing problems I figured. I just thought if he came back I would give it one last shot (trying this third time charm). But if It didn’t work out then definitely not going back again. I’ll just see what happens and definitely taking things slow. I don’t know how one person can be so loving and caring then suddenly disappear.
My boyfriend broke up with me for the third time 🙁 this time he’s saying I don’t understand him and we are not meant to be. I don’t know why he’s so wishy washy. It’s very disappointing. He is a deep thinker so sometimes (rarely) we get into small arguments and he thinks too deep about things and tells me I don’t understand him. Sunday night we were just fine and he was texting me at night asking me about seeing me Monday and making plans with me. Because he hasn’t talked to me all day, I just told him I guess I’m boring? But I didn’t mean it in a bad way just saying I miss you in a way. And he automatically got defensive and told me he just felt like not talking that day and he said “but of course you will take offense to that”. And I said I didn’t I just simply said that in a joking way. He got mad and told me it was more of passive aggressive and me saying it was a joking way is not true bc he knows he hasn’t talked to me all day. So I try to explain and say it’s different over text and it’s not the same as the way I would say it in person and he just didn’t want to hear me out and told me he just doesn’t think we should be together anymore. Apparently because he gets mad when he shouldn’t be mad at me. Then I tried to contact him and he just said I’m sorry and didn’t reply to anymore of my texts. This is just so weird that I would get dumped for something stupid like that. The guy just bought me flowers the day before and he was planning on seeing me the next day and all of a sudden just cuts me off. I just don’t get it. He was so loving and attached and just cuts me off all of a sudden. I don’t know what to think anymore. I started no contact 2 days ago but I’m thinking if he comes back I’m going to give him a hard time as last time I was easy to let him back in. Any other advice about this? He also smokes weed and I am beginning to think that could be the issue with his deep thinking. I know it causes him to over think about things and it’s a problem. Thanks for your time. He’s such a good person, always takes good care of me, he’s always loving me wanting to see me everyday. I just don’t get it. Our relationship was so good and had more positives than anything. I feel like I lost my other half and can’t function without him.
Thank you Patricia! And thank you so much for your time and thought into this. You helped me a lot during this process. Definitely praying everything is permanent!
Thanks for your responses. He contacted me asking me to forgive him take him back and he was apologizing and he said he wanted his baby back. And he told me how he just wants everything to go slow and he felt in the wedding everything was just moving quick for him. He also mentioned how depressed he was and he couldn’t even eat sleep or focus on anything. I just told him you can’t just leave me like that you need to talk to me and tell me what’s on your mind and work things out. And I told him also about the profile and he said he just wanted to get some attention bc he’s been working out and he said he wasn’t in the right mindset when he did that crap. But he just said one girl messaged him and it was just short 3 message convo and he just got off and didn’t want to proceed further with the conversation bc he felt satisfied after that small acknowledgement. He compared it to one of our friends when he told us that when him and his girl were on a cruise he just went in front of his gf to the bar on the cruise and started talking to some lady just to be acknowledged and left after a short convo. It’s hard to explain over message but yes he said that it was kinda like our friends situation except not face to face like our friend did. Long story short I told him he doesn’t need to be making profiles as I never felt I needed to. And he said he would never even think of doing that again and it was just a stupid weak moment he had. Anyways we are back together but I’m going to talk to him about everything tomorrow and we will talk about financials and all that as well and to get his real estate going. Ugh this was crazy and it was a nightmare. Thank you both for being there and messaging me. The convos helped me get through this a lot.
That could be a possibility but I did ask his sister about that and when she saw the texts he she said he was being legit about the wanting to make money and grow. And he has dated around many girls before me and he had a long relationship back in hs. But I was just his first real one outside. He also told his parents the girl I bring home she is the one for me. And I was the only girl he ever introduced to his parents. I found out he didn’t even tell his parents about the break up yet according to his sister. She just got married and lives outside the house but all the news goes to her and him and his sister don’t have a really good relationship (long story). But that is why I was thinking he got freaked out because of his situation. His dad even kept calling me his daughter in law saying I was next to get married and I was laughing with my boyfriend about it and his eyes widened jokingly like “oh crap already” look. Now that I think about it I think everything sounded quick to him at the wedding and it scared him.
Yes I understand. He kept saying this was his first real relationship so he wanted everything to go slow bc he was still trying to figure everything out and trying to figure out the balance between me and developing himself. I believe that he just saw me as a distraction bc even if I said you do your thing he just still wants to spend lots of time with me and stick to me whenever he’s free. And I know he is very stubborn so even if his parents told him that he would just want to stick with his own ways. He would never take advice from anyone on how to do things the right way. And I know he has pride too. All I can do is just wait and have him miss everything we had and realize what he did. Thank you Patricia I wish the best on this confusion as well. Never thought I would be back on this site again. Such a nightmare.
And he lives with his parents right now. They have everything there for him and he wanted a place with me but later on in time. I remember he mentioned during the break up that he told me to wait and everything would happen and come into place but he felt rushed with me. But he’s the one that kept bringing the apartments up and talking about moving out by himself which is extremely confusing. And I told him to please not break it off and talk to me about going slow but he just still went on with cutting me off. I just don’t get it. It’s like something controlled him to keep going on with the break up and he didn’t want to work it out together.
I agree Patricia. So you think I should be worried about the dating app he made a while ago? Yah he is very confusing I feel. I can’t wait until this nightmare is over and everything goes back to normal. I know we had a cruise June 2nd should I just cancel the whole thing or wait until the end of the month and try to contact him?
And thank you for your response and luck on the situation. I need it. It’s only been 2 days of no contact and I truly miss him.
When he got back with me the first time we lasted 2 years. He is in real estate just like me and he just renewed his license and he’s trying to get back in it and he’s upset bc he doesn’t have a place and he doesn’t have money coming in and he wants him time. We are both 25 years old. I tried to tell him do your thing and we can do this together but he’s been slacking. He was always wanting to see me and spend time with me and always wanting to take care of me. He’s did so much for me and showed me a lot of love and care. All of a sudden after the wedding he snaps and he says it scared him that everything was set in stone. I did send the messages to his sister and she thinks he means that he sees everything moving too fast but he’s not ready money wise to move forward and wants to get his life together and be settled with his real estate. It’s just shocking to me how he flipped on me in seconds when the same day we just went out and he did mention moving out together and he always mentioned kids and living together. Why would he dump me and act cold is that even normal? I’m so confused by all this we had everything planned. I feel in my heart our chapter isn’t over.
I’m glad everything is getting better on your end! Did you get to go on any dates yet!! Your an awesome guy and you deserve someone that loves you back the way you do. And I know you will find that girl. You have a big heart and you care a lot about your ex, but how she is just doesn’t complete you and balance you out. You need someone that will give you that love back! And I know it will happen! How is everything going to this day?
I know how you feel :/ your in that moment where you need support or someone there and you think of her first. That’s why it’s hard and I know it’s hard.
Just give her some space and be strong not to give in or she will not value the relationship when it’s easy to have you back.
She’s done enough to you not to even deserve you back. If she can easily hurt you like that then you can easily ignore her for now. Just keep going with your NC for 30 days and if she starts contacting you nonstop just start answering but with distance.
If she asks if you been dating then don’t give her an answer just make her wonder bc she will be pushed more to make a decision when she realizes you are not going to waste your time as well as noticing you backing off.
I know how you feel bc I was still in love with a guy that mentally abused me and accused me so much of cheating when I haven’t bc of his insecurity. Yet I loved him and stayed on and off for 4 years til he dated someone else during our break and still tried to have me on the side without losing me or the other girl. I said enough is enough and parted my way til I found someone way better. So I know the feeling trust me.
I hope everything goes smooth and you go back homeWait so you told her you are seeing someone else? Why did she say she’s glad you found someone? Is she saying that bc she’s assuming?
Yes it seems she’s confused between you and someone else. That’s the closest assumption I can come up with. And if she’s not serious and playing games, it’s really not her business to see if you are with someone else and assume. If I were you, don’t answer. She needs to wake up and realize you are gone and you are strong without her.
It will only make her want you more and make her guess what you are up to.
Trust me, I know it’s tough and I understand you love her a lot and you can’t picture anyone but her. I know it’s hard to forget everything you went through and the love you have for her. But think about this, she got another boyfriend and didn’t care about your feelings about that. That’s hurtful and disgusting. Yet she’s still wanting to see if you are dating other people and maybe holding you and someone else until she makes a decision.
If she cares none of this would happen and you don’t deserve this at all.
Just don’t answer her, and see how much she starts to message you. But don’t give in at all. Yet I’m afraid she reels you in again, she might keep hurting you. I know it’s hard but it’s healthy to stay away and breathe.
You might choose to not have her back, or you will decide you want her.
Just relax and give it time. Remember don’t give in to her and no contact. And don’t answer her about her “being glad you found someone else”. Just play it off and make her wonder don’t say you haven’t met anyone. You want her to think you weren’t going to waste your time and maybe she will regret it.
She might type more smart comments trying to make you feel bad and make you feel guilty, keep ignoring. I know it’s hard but hang on. Everything will only get better in time whether you find someone else better in the future or stay with her.
