divinegirl

Your therapist is right. We know how to make a man feel special and that’s what they “loved” about us. I mean we cook, clean, have sex with them, travel with them, entertain their guests, rub their backs, pick out their furniture, organize their kitchen cupboards, pop their zits (I know, I’m disgusting!). What else does a man need? But tides changed when we started asking for more attention and support (at least I really needed it) and it stopped being all about them. My ex told me: “I don’t feel like a man with you anymore”. So they will latch themselves on to a woman as long as it feels good but when the ship hits the rocks, they’re out. I’m not a shrink but I think it has to do with upbringing and what their mothers taught them about women.

If that really was his plan, that is very cruel! I’m so sorry you had to go thru that.
My ex texted me last night and wanted to discuss a book? He told me “I read a book because I remembered you liked it”! We chatted for a while and then I called him out for never reading my favorite book and he said he would! I’m really confused by him trying to be all nice. I think he’s also trying to make a point. Since I was the one who eventually stopped talking to him, that was probably bothering him. He wants to be on good terms with me just to prove that he can. These men can’t accept defeat or that they simply messed up…

Bravo! Finally he showed his real face. You know I got that too from my ex: we’re not a good couple because you’re not good for me but we can be friends. Bullshit. If he thinks you’re a bad person with a bad character, why does he want to be friends with you? That’s all pretense darling. He wants to look like the good guy, they all do. “Let’s be friends, we can be better than that blah blah”. Friendship means something too, you can’t be friends with someone you don’t respect and he doesn’t respect you. Good riddance!
When I get married to a real man, not a pussy, I’ll hire you as my wedding photographer:)

Fuck him. Delete his number, block on every social media. There’s no going back anymore. He will use you as a doormat if you keep letting him come back to you every time. Sorry to sound harsh but I’ve been thru all this.

No, just on Facebook…

Thanks! I got really drunk here last week with my friends and then I texted him! He replied immediately, asked me what I was up to. I replied like 10 hours later and we exchanged a few texts. I was doing really well not texting him first and ignoring him but alcohol does that to you:) Anyway, I don’t think it was a big deal. Let’s wait and see what happens and meanwhile enjoy life. You do the same.
My bday is coming up too, I wonder if he remembers it. I’m sure he does but let’s see if I’ll get a happy bday message.

Omg, my ex just wrote me again! The second time in a week he initiated a conversation! He told me: “I just wanted to say hello”, “How are things?”, “Don’t be a stranger”. I am in shock! I’m being very distant and cold for now, really want him to think I don’t care. I’m basically acting the same way he acted with me after our break up. Sweet revenge:)
I think you may be right, he broke up with his gf and remembered me again. But until when? Until he meets someone else? I don’t want him to remember me only when he’s bored and not dating anyone. Arrghh I’m so confused now!

I can write a book about cultural differences! My story is this: my ex and I are both not American (he’s a naturalized citizen). At first, we bonded over that. We both love the US but we were born and raised elsewhere so that was a common ground for us to begin with. Moreover I’m well familiar with his native culture as I’ve spent considerable time living in that region (my dad can even speak his mother tongue!). So I’m pretty open-minded and ready for those “cultural differences” and to challenge them. But the problem is his family is extremely conservative and was opposed to the idea of us dating when he told them (they never even met me!) I suspect he didn’t tell me everything but basically they told him they will be extremely disappointed if he brings home “a Western whore”. They think we are all whores! I mean I’m sorry but they can’t just make such a blanket statement, they don’t even know me! So of course I was really upset and hurt when he told me this, but said “Baby, don’t worry, I know I can win your parents over, I know what they expect of me, we can work on this blah blah.” Never once did I tell him: “You’re a grown man, make your own decisions!” Because I know that is not how it works in his culture. That’s not even how it works for me, my family is also quite strict and traditional. But I think his family got into his head cuz he changed after he went to visit them and they told him all these horrible things. We started fighting, he kept getting jealous about my past, wanted to know how many other men I’ve had before him, blah blah. Eventually he accused me of lying to him because I didn’t tell him about ALL my previous bfs and he told my friend that I was “too Westernized” for him. Wtf does that even mean? That I’ve had sex with other men and didn’t tell you all about it? I was shocked. I said: ” You knew this about me, you knew your family won’t like me and you will have a problem with my past, you knew we had all these differences (religious, linguistic etc.) – why did you waste my time and your time?” He said: “I thought it would be ok but it’s not”. So it’s like you said: he was excited to try something new but then realized it was too much for him. So I was just an experiment for him:(