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@ellie96 I agree with Oshi that perhaps the best would be to distance yourself from him. At least you got to talk to him about Saturday so you can calm down a bit now.
I have a major update!!! So last night my ex texted me on Whatsapp while I was sleeping and was like there’s this whatsapp call function. It was the first time he texted me himself, without me initiating it! I mean I did text him yesterday but it was very short and he was busy. So I was surprised to see that text in the morning. So he ended up calling me and had a great conversation for almost 2 hours! Just like in old times:) He showed me pics of his newly renovated house and seemed to care about my opinion. He even complimented me on the way I looked. Mind you, this was me just out of bed (not like he hadn’t seen it before lol). Anyway, Idk what to make of it but it was honestly so nice to catch up with him. Just made me think how much I still miss him!!! Argggghhhh….
To your earlier question, no I haven’t seen anyone else since we broke up mainly cuz I’ve been going thru other stuff and just don’t have the bandwidth for a new relationship right now. I do want to start seeing other people thou cuz it’s been a while so I’m going to work on that. I’m not going to assume anything or get my hopes up now that we’re talking again and will keep looking for other opportunities:)Wow, yes that sounds pretty intense:)
Me and my ex are nowhere near where you are. He’s made it clear he doesn’t love me anymore and I should move on as did he. Idk what I’m still hoping for here but I’m just so happy to at least be talking to him again. It’s been a very emotional roller coaster for me and all my friends tell me he’s an asshole and I need to move on but I simply can’t. Oh and we’re thousands of miles apart so that doesn’t help either. I just miss him so much that some days I feel like I can’t breathe. Last year this time we went on a wonderful vacation in Cyprus and Turkey and I’m just missing him extra these days. Plus it’s my birthday soon and all I want for my birthday is him. So yeah I’m pretty pathetic, go ahead and say it:)Nix the last two sentences. Over apologizing is not good either. Sorry I’m harsh but speaking from experience. The rest is fine I guess.
Lol my ex didn’t even take me seriously that time of the month, wrote it all off to my hormones which pissed me off even more:) try to stay calm and don’t contact him today!
I’m actually now texting me with my ex and he’s being nice! Well at least not mean:) I thanked him for something he did for me yesterday and checked on him. He seemed pleased.
Can’t believe we’re holding on to these straws:) whatever happened to self esteem?If you asked him last night, don’t annoy him. Wait until he contacts you and bring it up. Looks like you’ve asked enough times already so ball is in his court now!
Don’t say I got your hint etc. guys don’t like when we assume things for them. Just ask “are you coming or no? I need to know now to let other people know”. Simple and to the point.
Good luck!!!
I still wouldn’t say anything. You said he’s acting like you’re dating but are you? Maybe he thinks it’s all going too fast? Idk maybe you should call but don’t act hurt. Be nonchalant about it. I know it’s hard but say “oh I’ve made all these plans with people , you still coming?”if not, go without him.
Do not, I repeat, do not text him to ask if he’s taken the Saturday off. If he wants to, he will! When my ex was after me trying to get me to date him he made it very clear and took all these days off and made all the plans etc. bottom line if they wanna spend time with us, they will find a way. Trust me I know exactly how much it hurts to see that all of a sudden you’re not s priority in their life anymore but we have to accept it. If you text your ex that you’re hurt etc. you’ll sound desperate and needy again. He doesn’t wanna hang out? His loss. I’m sorry to sound harsh but we can’t act like doormats anymore. When my ex recently wanted to touch base he emailed, unblocked me – showed initiative. Now he’s being distant again and I told him as much and you know what I got in response? “I told you I moved on so should you.” So don’t give him the chance to reject you again especially if he may still have his defenses up.
@oshi he may indeed be missing you! or he may just be bored:) keep your expectations low but stay positive.
@gingerone I made the stupid mistake of asking my ex if he wants to join me on a trip. Of course he said no, in a very cold and dismissive way. You may have better chances with a hike but brace yourself for a rejection. But do go on that hike by yourself or with a friend! I’m going on that trip without my ex although we originally planned it together and I intend to have the time of my life. There is no point in not enjoying life without them. They won’t do it for us.
It’s totally fine, that’s how I feel too. If someone who used to call you his soulmate can tell you that they never want to experience it again (what, the happy life we had together?) then they’re either suffering from amnesia or their love wasn’t strong enough to begin with.
@oshi yeah that’s what I’m thinking too. The letter was definitely more for me and I felt infinitely better after writing it. The fact that he responded was more of a bonus. I’m very proud of myself for playing it so cool with this fake friendship. We’ll see how it goes either way it really is up to him.
Hi everyone, here’s my experience with the letter: I got a very nice email in reply where my ex said that he was very happy that I finally accepted our breakup and moved on. He was also very curious about the good news that I mentioned in the letter and agreed to talk so I could tell him about it. He was genuinely curious! Unfortunately, I actually wasn’t ready to share the news with him yet so he was disappointed because of that. We kept chatting since then and he’s been cold and warm, sending sort of mixed signals. However he sensed that I was trying to get him back and told me that he never wants to be with me again and that he’ll disappear from my life if I can’t accept that. As much as it hurt hearing that I played it very cool and said that I never want to be with him either (which is a lie). I think he believed me but I feel terrible lying to him about my true feelings but at the same time don’t want to be clingy. I guess there really is no hope left after hearing that but Idk what to do… So bottom line even if they react well to the letter doesn’t mean you still have a chance. Sorry to be a party pooper but that’s just my experience so far
@Lematt
The one about writing the letter comes after 2 weeks or so. Good luck!
I did 30 days of NC, then wrote the letter and mailed it a month ago. He lives in another country so it took forever for the letter to get there. He emailed me that he just got it yesterday. I mean it’s not a panacea but at least elicits a response, which is better than nothing.At this link, you can read about Kevin’s five step plan, including writing the letter. Also he dedicates one of his emails to writing it. I copied his sample letter from the email almost verbatim and it actually worked. For the first time in 6 months I got a positive response. More thatn just that, I’m sure my ex is ready to continue the conversation and I got him thinking about me:)
Do NC as long as needed for you and then send him a snail mail following Kevin’s advice on how to write it. I did that with my ex, who had also blocked me and told me to leave him alone for good after I acted like a crazy bitch for months. The magic letter totally works! I wrote mine exactly how Kevin says we should and I received an email from my ex today, in which he says how he appreciates my letter, thinks of me sometimes and is always there for me! A complete 180 from the last time we spoke! I intend to go all the way now with Kevin’s plan and see where it takes me:) Even if we don’t reconcile at least now I know that my ex doesn’t hate me cuz honestly it was really bothering me…
