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anyone
we never got in a heated fight, we argued, there were times we both got mad at each other (tho i often let it pass) but we never got in a fight. I really miss her and idk what to do if i dont get her back
advice?
Advice,
So its been a week since we broke up. 2 days of nc, i mean i drove by her house after work last night but that was 10pm and i was going about 80mph. Anyways Monday i added her friends and family on facebook and talked to her cousin for awhile (about her) before he deleted me, after he deleted me i went back through and deleted all the request i had sent. Except her bestfriend because i had forgot she sent me one. Last night while i was at work i guess she texted my mom about me adding everyone on Monday. And i guess also that on Monday her friend sent me a request on fb but it went to my “other folder” asking “do i know you”. I guess my question is i really plan on doing 90 days nc but after 30 days should i msg her friend and see if its worth it? I think she hates me so idk realistically if theres any hope but idk. My mom offered to text her at the end of the 90 days nc but i mean im 21 and shes 25 idt my mom needs to be a middle person?
SuzyLou
this translates, obviously she is not looking at you like a wounded animal, she is struggling herself to heal. I mean you say her thoughts keep changing. From an outsiders perspective it really seems like you both miss each other dearly and want to work this out. Problem with that is that if you did that now neither one of you in emotional stable. You both need time to re energize, i honestly see your story as a success story it is just in a healing stage (ALONE, NC) right now
Morvarid,
my situation is similar, do i go be a better person and then have her think she was holding me back? no, i go make myself a better person and IF she ever wants to talk to me again i show her how i have changed but she is the missing piece to my success. And i can’t just say that down the road because then it sounds needy which is unattractive, so i am prepared to start ALL OVER again as her friend. But i doubt with how needy i already came off that i get that chance, but if your situation isn’t as fucked as mine then become her friend again with your new and improved self and eventually she’ll figure out the missing piece you’ve known all along
question 1 : 30 days really depends on you, if you think that at 30 days you can contact her and handle possible rejection then go for it. If you don’t think you can handle possible direction or think that you guys will pick right back up where you left off then wait
question 2 : i can’t answer the first part because i am thinking that too. I like to think (not in my case because i pushed things to far) that while i hesitate to call her she’s sitting somewhere also hesitating to call me. Keep faith is the bottom line
question 3 : step 4 has some great suggestions, but if your not the texting person (couldn’t really understand you issue) then try an email again. Worked the first time didn’t it? Just remember to takes things SLOOOOOOOOW
bro, like i said man, time. If i was you i wouldn’t even worry about getting your EX back right now, id worry about getting your FRIEND back (when of course your ready). Become her friend and then fall in love with her (and if timings right she’ll be parrallel to you in this) all over again
think you nailed it on the head thinking she is scaredof being alone. I mean you say not even 3 weeks and shes in a new relationship? hm rebound. Now idk if your in high school or college. I just started college and believe or not even tho she was the one who encouraged me to go i am actually getting into it and even tho im only in school half a day i find it takes up a lot of my day where i really dont pay her much thought. I also have a night job so on a day likke today i work half the day then school half the day. I think you also answered your own question but are thinking about it to much bud, you asked “how will i know if she’s ever thinking about me” but you said you sent her a letter and she RESPONDED NEXT DAY. Whereas you sent the time to sit down and write her a letter she got on the computer and EMAILED you asap. Obviously she is thinking about you. Now her new relationship? I doubt it turns into anything but what if it does? Or what if it doesn’t turn into anything but they are together for awhile? Well ask yourself? Do you honestly think her and this guy got potential? Down the road when your not hurting become a friend, let her know you care but not secretly want her back, one day she’ll want you back and regret everything. But that may mean time, may mean multiple boyfriends, may even mean you date in the process. Biggest think man is keep faith and dont harp on it TOO much
julia,
everyone says that and i honestly get that but everything i was doing (going back to college to get a real job, finding a bs part time job to start saving up for my own place, trying to quit smoking) were things that only she and my mom pushed me, believed in me to do. So even if i focus on that (which is hard now because i think why am i doing this? oh right :/) what good is that in 3-4 months when its like i did the stuff id already planned to do? and assuming she will rebound date, should i?
Julia
honestly all i can really ever hope for with her anymore is a friendship
this girl was my bestfriend so its not me bargaining or anything i just feel she lost any love she had for me after i didn’t shut up. I know im not thinking straight but i think even after nc id be better off just hoping to be friends and that she doesn’t hate me
hey guys,
ironically im not struggling with the no contact today (day 1 attempt 3) after yesterday and i thitnk it might be because i realize i’ve ruined any chances we may have had
thoughts?
heartbroken8o
really sounds like a rebound
and to both of you, no, i think its really to late
Toni
her last message was in response to me saying something about at least being friends and she replied
“you aren’t respecting me enough to leave me alone. I can’t see how we could be friends EVER from the way you keep harassing me”
from a guy’s perspective who has handled break ups absolutely wrong, he is hurting and dealing with it the wrong way
delete him during the NC period to avoid any distractions, tbh he probably will think maybe not that you hate him but he will be hurt when he sees you deleted him. I know i felt that way when me and my girl broke up then she removed/deactivated/blocked me whatever she did on facebook. So maybe thats not a good idea however its more likely to make it easier on you. What i would do is just unfollow him and try your hardest not to come across his page. Will you probably see his page? yes. but just dont dwell on it
no problem man, if it is any comfort you have a better chance with your ex then i do with mine
