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Okay so here’s my story: https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/help-with-complicated-nc-and-rebound-or-not-thank-you/
When he texted me saying we broke up, I didn’t respond. However I still had him on Snapchat and the next day I hung out with some mutual friends of ours and posted it on there and he saw it, but said nothing. He also posted stories, but I didn’t look at them. My friend told me that they were of him chewing tobacco, which he stopped doing for me.
Now I’ve learned that he’s launched himself back into chewing tobacco all the time and he’s broadcasting it all over about how much he loves it. I personally think it’s gross and a lot of my friends do as well. His friends do it a lot too and he’s been hanging out with them a lot more recently. I had my Facebook deactivated but I got it back and just did a few harmless things such as change my profile picture and like some stuff, and I also unfollowed him so that his posts don’t show up on my timeline, but I didn’t delete him or look at his profile.
That night he sent me a Snapchat at 12:30am, which is really odd for him to be awake at that time because he works at like 7am and we hadn’t spoken in a week. I wasn’t going to open it and I left it for a day but the curiosity was killing me and I opened it. It was a picture of all his chewing tobacco tins with the caption “Dip is the best thing that’s ever happened to me” (He calls chewing tobacco dip). I didn’t respond and I feel like he’s bragging that now because we’re not together he can do whatever he wants, but why? I haven’t made contact with him and I feel like he’s being really immature about the situation. He also deleted me off of Facebook even though I never made contact with him on there either.
I know him and he wouldn’t do this stuff if he wasn’t angry at me for some reason, but I don’t know why he would be angry if I haven’t even talked to him and he hasn’t tried to talk to me? Personally I think I’ve done nothing to set him off, and as I said in my previous post, he’s communicating with his ex that he was with for 8 months and this girl and I are NOT friends anymore. I deleted him off of Snapchat and blocked him off Facebook, but I was hoping that eventually we would be on civil speaking terms with each other before school started (First week of September, we’re in high school) but now he’s being angry and immature and I really don’t want him back but it’s not like I never want to speak to him again? We have a lot of mutual friends. I just want to know what’s going through his head. I feel like NC is backfiring and making him more angry. Help is greatly appreciated, thank you so much.
Sounds like he is dealing with the break up in a childish and angry way because he is hurting. The reason he is talking to his ex is to fill the lonely void of not having you anymore( a rebound). When he deleted you off of facebook and snapchat, I feel like that is his way of showing his hurt and bitterness. If you do/dont want him back i would still maintain NC. Eventually he will grow up/possibly apologize. Work on yourself and your goals. Remain busy, with good friends, find new hobbies, and be positive/happy. You yourself is the one who can make you happy, ppl just add to it. Plus, ppl like to be around smiling, positive individuals.
Thanks for the advice. I’m just really disappointed in him that he’s chosen this lifestyle over someone who genuinely cared about him. I guess because he’s doing this it means I’m on his mind, but I think NC is making him angry and he’s not missing me at all even though he hasn’t tried to talk to me and is trying to show that he’s better off without me, when really he’s turned back into his old bad habits.
Also this girl/his ex and I as I said do not get along, so I try to avoid her at all costs. However my ex and her and I have a lot of mutual friends and honestly just seeing her name makes me so uncomfortable. Like she’s everywhere I go I feel like no matter what I do she’s always there. I’ve blocked her off of literally everything but both her and my ex are unavoidable because we go to school together and we have so many mutual friends. I know people say not to worry about that type of thing and use NC to better myself and that’s what I’m doing, I feel so much better now than I did after the breakup. I feel really confident, but whenever I think about school I get really anxious and scared and I feel like I’m not going to be able to handle it.
I know I sound really paranoid but honestly I just want this problem to go away. I try to be nice to everyone but there are certain people I cannot deal with. In a way he’s helped me understand that I deserve better and he’s immature because of his post-breakup actions. But I have a hard time understanding why he’s hurting and angry if he’s the one who initiated the breakup.
I’ve basically cut him and anyone else that gives me negative feelings out of my life at least for now. I can block him on whatever I want but he still pops up somehow and he’s most likely still angry at me for whatever reason.
I’m taking the time I have before school to better myself, work out, talk to friends, etc. I don’t really miss him, I’m disappointed in how he’s changed. But school is going to be different because I’m going to be forced to see him everyday with this girl and his/our friends. I don’t want to be around him if he’s going to be angry and bitter, but I’m not ready to be nice yet. How am I going to handle this if we have so many mutual friends? Can somebody please give me advice?
Also why is he so angry at me if he initiated the break up? He hasn’t tried to speak to me at all and as far as I know he’s hanging out with his friends a lot and doing the things I was uncomfortable with him doing. I know that people say guys put on a show for their friends, and part of me wants to believe he misses me but it doesn’t seem like it. Could somebody please sort of tell me what he might be going through? Idk I just wanted some space I would have been willing to work things out but now I don’t want to right now because he’s handling the “post-breakup” fight in an immature way. I would appreciate any advice a lot. Thank you
Like gljao501 said, he’s acting out. And you’re right about him putting on a show for his friends. Not much more to it. He sounds like a bad egg. You said you’ve cut him and anyone negative out of your life. Good for you. Move on. You can’t please everyone and he’s not your problem anymore.
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