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My ex and I broke up a week ago after 4 months. The problem was the past month had been rough for us because I had heard from 2 people that he was flirting, touching and smoking cigarettes (he doesn’t smoke) with another girl while he was in summer school (so much so that they couldn’t tell he and I were still dating) and he denied it and said that it was all her. I stopped talking to him for a week because I believed that he had lied but after that week I told him that I had just needed space and he seemed to understand. However he became moody after that and said it was because I had gone AWOL. There were a lot of other issues that led to our breakup but part of it I believe is because we both were frustrated because it was summer and we go to school together and we live far away from each other. I wanted to resolve things with him and even though I knew things were rough I was still completely surprised and devastated by the breakup.
I’m a really uptight person and I accept the fact that I made my fair share of mistakes in the relationship. I’m insecure and was constantly worried about other girls and I have trust issues that came long before him. I always felt that I communicated my worries with him but there were a lot of them and he took it as nagging and it always led to us arguing. We would always figure it out though it was usually over something stupid and then we would be happy. I miss him a lot and I still love him.
Now I’m worried about the NC rule because I didn’t respond to his break up text so I never got a chance to tell him how I feel and I don’t want him to think I don’t care and don’t still have feelings for him. I don’t know if the NC rule will work if he thinks I gave up.
Also this may sound really petty but his #1 Best friend on Snapchat is the girl he was dating for 8 months before me and he stopped talking to her because she was trying to flirt with him when he and I were getting together; and he ended it with her in the first place because she was flirting with his friends and some other issues. This girl and I used to be close but we ended the friendship for various reasons. He’s ran to her and we haven’t even been broken up a week. I’m worried that he will become involved with her again without knowing that I still love him and if they do it will last because they were already together once and he doesn’t go into a relationship without the intention of making it last. He’s a “country boy” and this girl is more of a “country girl” than I am. I’m scared to use the NC rule because by then he might have entered into a relationship with this girl again and then I’ll have no chance. As long as I’ve known him he’s always had a girl in his life and he’s moved on quickly. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s already let her know he’s interested.
We all go to school together and school starts in 2 weeks. How will the NC rule work then, especially if he’s become involved with this girl? Please help and thank you so much for reading I realize this was long. I also realize that I made some mistakes too and I’m willing to work on a lot of things in order to make sure that if we do get back together, it will be better this time.
Better yourself during these two weeks, don’t worry about the new girl, there’s nothing you can do about her. You can attract him and other guys if you imrpove yourself. So control the things you can and let go of the things you can’t. You can still contact him, I agree that NC after 4 months can be risky if you still want him back. Perhaps try contacting him once every 3 days, don’t act needy and keep the conversation going.
Thank you for your reply. The thing that worries me though is she’s not “new”, she’s familiar to him and in a way it’s almost like I was the rebound and he’s always going to go back to her. I don’t know how I stand a chance if she’s already back in the picture.
No one knows you better than yourself, if you don’t think you stand a chance then why bother? Having this fear of losing him to her will only make you weaker. You have to regain confidence and also accept that you may lose him. Whether he gets back with you or not, YOU are still growing. You are improving yourself and reaching for your goals in life, with or without him. That’s how you would attract not just your ex, but many people out there.
Okay thanks, and I have another question. I’m not stalking him or keeping tabs of what he’s doing on social media, but I don’t want to completely shut down on Facebook, Snapchat, etc. just because of him. I don’t want what he’s posting to pop up though so I don’t known if it’s best to just delete him? I don’t want him thinking I hate him enough to do that but I also want to use social media to my advantage so he knows I’m taking care of myself. Any advice?
delete him during the NC period to avoid any distractions, tbh he probably will think maybe not that you hate him but he will be hurt when he sees you deleted him. I know i felt that way when me and my girl broke up then she removed/deactivated/blocked me whatever she did on facebook. So maybe thats not a good idea however its more likely to make it easier on you. What i would do is just unfollow him and try your hardest not to come across his page. Will you probably see his page? yes. but just dont dwell on it
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