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thanks for your reply! read through your stuff and commented.. sounds like youre in a better position than a lot of us. hopefully actually not talking to her this time will make her reach out to me more. i do miss her friendship.
oh yeah, her and her ex arent living together anymore, i saw that on facebook as well as he posted something about it
yes i do feel as if your situation is one of the craziest.. very difficult. you do need to rein in your emotions though. so wait, sorry i missed a bit but your oldest threw an egg? at your ex? if so, good on her. i know its not right but its good to hear shes sticking up for you. i really wish i could help you more but i think you know that youre the only one that can do it. you have to be strong. i know its the opposite of what you want but you have to accept whats going on. have you ever heard the saying, the moment we stop wanting something, we get it? i believe its true, usually when it comes to people. i think he sees it like he can play his game, and when he gets tired or bored, he could come back to you if he chooses. nu uh, thats not how it works. he has to realise he will lose you forever. he has to be scared of that. like you are. and the only reason you can tolerate whats going on is because you two arent together. obviously you wouldnt want someone that treated you like that in a relationship. as for your dreams.. strange they come real. maybe it is because you told them about the dream you had about your car? as if they stole it? wtf
yeah completely agree with what most people are saying. this sure is a chaotic situation. you definitely need to stop all contact with him. i dont know how that will be possible with the kids and stuff.. and if he can still just rock up at your place.. and i know how badly you want to talk to him but you must know that will just make things worse. im so sorry you have to go through this. wish we werent drawn to people hey, it would be much easier to be single our entire lives. but, love is one hell of an experience and roller coaster. the way i look at it, is that its amazing we can feel this way. this love and hurt. its beautiful something can make us feel this sad. We experienced something so great to us and we should be thankful for that. we have to take the good with the bad. Thats life. i know it sounds stupid. things will get better. maybe not in the way we expect or want, but things will. if we let them.
thank you. i kinda think things are getting better in a way.. ive found out stuff about our relationship that i didnt know before. she wasnt as in it as she could have been for a while. but i honestly dont blame her. we needed to split, i mean, our entire dating relationship (10 months) we were living together. we had no space away from each other to reflect. we grew together. unfortunately i copied habits of hers and she did the same. i felt like i had to do the things she did to me (just like not tell me certain things that a partner should know) to her so shed know how it felt and so she didnt do it again. probably not the best way to help people, i realise that now…
i shall check out your situation. in the mean time, i found something i probably wasnt supposed to. its a email she never sent me before we actually got together… she never sent me anything like it but she wrote this one? i wish she sent me letters like this, theres solid information i cant forget. the fact she took the time to think it and write it means more than on the fly words. i wouldnt have been so insecure if she did. i want to tell her that. but i dont think i can. i probably wasnt supposed to find it so if i ask hey about it (why she didnt send it), mention how great we were together, anbd tell her i wish she sent me it and others like that and maybe things wouldnt have went like they did. could you check out the email and let me know what you think?
i guess it does. i mean, i never really thought we wouldnt talk no matter what she said. i know how close we were. it is little things however. like things she likes on facebook. i know they could mean anything, and i know they may not be true. like she liked some picture of the definition of some word, cant remember it but it meant that you no long have feelings for someone you once loved. i dont know if i can actually swallow that though. i think it may be things she either wants other to believe, or herself. or she could just like the word. if none of that is the case, i can accept that she may not have feelings for me anymore (but its only been a month so i dont think so)
she still has my actual stuff at her place. i mean, why the letter that is unimportant but not my stuff (not that its overly important which is why im not too concerned) like some clothes and dvds. makes me think shes keeping them so she has a reason to contact me. but i dunno. i am starting to think she was a bit of a hypocrite with her attitude towards lying and hiding things. found out she was adding people on Facebook without telling me. i know that doesnt sound like much, but we used to tell or at least it thought, each other every thing like so we didnt have unexpected surprises.
okay so i messaged her back.. i said, okay, thank you (and put an) X
she actually replied and said
thats ok … X
she didnt have to reply to that.. or the X.. or the fullstops… gah
well, i grabbed the letter.. but i didnt reply. have i dont the right thing? by saying that id come pick it up i thought id better not go back on my word. and i dont really need to respond to the email.. though of course i want to talk to her. but not about mundane things like a letter that i have no use for -.-
she keeps liking things on facebook like ‘this love thing is a motherfucker’ and things about how close we were that we started becoming like each other and other things.. im worried she thinks or will think i dont care anymore. or is that what i want? i dont want her to be like, ‘he didnt reply to my last email so im not gonna bother’she is stubborn so it is possible. gah
okay so she replied saying this;
It’s in the studio on the floor. The studio is open. I’m not going back to the house so you can get it or Jayne will throw it out. Do not touch ANYTHING else.
what should i do?
i think we all do better when we arent in touch. as much as i want to hear from my ex, i dont at the same time. it sure makes things harder. but i love her and do want to be with her
thank you. i was getting a bit.. anxious because she still hasnt replied but youre right, i have to wait til she replies. i guess i have kinda thrown a lot in her face, i thought she was doing that to me but maybe she didnt realise that telling me about my mail, wed kinda have to see each other or sort it out some other way so maybe that effected her.. but yeah i wont be giving her emotional power over me
yeah i did email back.. she hasnt responded yet ahaha hmmmm.. maybe shes playing the waiting game too
thank you. ill give it more than a few minutes. more like hours. i want her to be waiting to hear from me! every moment (hopefully) she’ll be wondering why i havent responded.. straight away. thank you again. i just dont understand. she hasnt exactly given me much to respond to. like i said, letting me know about my mail seems pointless.. why would she tell me something so pointless? the conversation cant go far. what is she doing? -.-
