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Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.
-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.If you don’t satisfy this after 30 days, continue no contact for another 30 days.
No it isn’t. Rebound relationships move faster than a normal relationship. And more importantly, learn to stop obsessing over him and stalking his facebook.
Hey a.z.
I think you are making the right decision. And I am proud of how far you’ve come.
I am pretty sure you are going to hear from him again. But I know you will be able to handle it. All the best.
Even better. You get to concentrate more on yourself and what you want and so does she. When NC is over, and you still want her back, you contact her. Remember, when you are doing NC, you are doing it for yourself, not so much for her. So if she is doing the same thing, it doesn’t affect your plan at all.
Hey Dezen,
Ryan (author of relationship rewind) isn’t against no contact. He actually recommends no contact if you are in the “death’s door” stage of relationship. He doesn’t recommend no contact if you are in “drift” stage (when you read the book, you’ll understand these terms). I recommend no contact no matter what stage you are in; death’s door or drift. And it’s for one simple reason. You need no contact to regain your composure, your confidence, and to figure out whether or not getting back together is a good idea. No contact is important for you, not for your ex or to get them to miss you. Although, that’s a nice side effect of no contact.
Also, Ryan is against the idea that no contact alone will fix all the problem and get your ex back. And I completely agree with him. That’s why I recommend to get back in touch with your ex once you have regained your composure, confidence and have realized that getting back together is a good idea. And that’s why I recommend Relationship Rewind. Because once you get back in touch with your ex, you can use the tactics in relationship rewind and they are extremely effective in wooing them back.
I have a testimonials page here that I created for the 5 step plan and the email series.
Apart from this, I have quite a bit of emails in my mailbox from people who got their ex back using this. I usually just bookmark those emails in case if I want to post them later. However, most of them are a simple thank you and not detailed stories.
Like Dara said, most people who get their ex back don’t usually come back. And the most I hear from them is a short email thanking me for creating the website and the email series.
Great advice Edward. I’ll be moving it to “Reconciliation” Forum since it’ll be more relevant there and hopefully more visitors will read it there.
Hey George,
Yes you are on the right track. I guess you should just give her time and use that time to work on yourself as well.
Hey,
You should still do NC. And you should try to make positive changes in your life. Not for her. Bu for yourself.
You already have a mode of communication open with him; email. So use that when NC is over. And I agree with you, you should do NC again. I think it’ll definitely help you.
Well, in that case, you should not go there until you receive a reply from him. You can call him up again or text again. If you don’t receive a reply, you can probably tell his sister to contact him and ask if it’s OK with him.
And if you stay with him, you’ll have to keep your distance and not get physical with him. Not unless he wants to commit.
Hey,
To start off, your relationship was a short one. And it’s entirely possible that what you are describing as perfect was just the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship and when it wore off, he became confused found some excuses to end the relationship.
If (after finishing no contact) you really think you and him can have a healthy and long term relationship, you should get back in touch with him. Try to build attraction once again. If it doesn’t work, you should consider moving on. You haven’t invested a lot of time in this relationship, and IMO, pursuing him for more than a couple of months is not worth it.
Like I said in the above post, we are not going to take a cold-hearted/kick in the butt approach here. When someone has just been through a devastating breakup, it’s cruel to tell them “just move on” or “you are a fool for wanting your ex back”.
I have always taken the approach to helping people with the decisions they make (and helping them make better decisions) rather than making decision for them. So if someone has decided to get their ex back, you are not going to do them any good by telling them not to get their ex back.
It takes time for people to regain their composure after a breakup. And the best we can do is to get them in a state of mind in which they can make better decisions themselves.
I don’t mean that if you want to tell someone to move on, you shouldn’t. If you want to tell someone to move on, you should. Just don’t be cruel about it. Tell them why you think they should move on and be kind about it. Remember, not everyone is like you and for a lot of people, it’s very hard to accept the fact that their relationship is over and they should move on.
