Boards Reconciliation Help please!!!!!the worst happened!

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 28 total)
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  • #1237
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    Hi everyone! I’d really appreciate any advise you could give..My mind is so stuck i can’t think logically..

    But now what was I afraid of came yesterday..I saw he had change his profile pic on facebook (twice) and seems like he’s on vacations or anyway at a swimming pool with someone(girlfriend my guess),while I saw that his photo number increased from 142 to 146 though i can’t see other photo than those two. To make matters worse i saw a comment on his mother’s photo and he was saying ”Girl’s name says summer suit you! :)”…and it was late at night! i’m so afraid they’re having vacations together or sth which he was saying we would do together but never did!meanwhile he owes me money which said he would give to me but he has some ‘difficultie”!! And seems his mother knows her too! Isn’t all that too soon for a 3 months relantionship??
    And what can i possibly do? Seems like i don’t have any chance at all!
    PLEASE HELP!!

    #1238
    Kevin
    Keymaster
    • Total Posts: 32

    No it isn’t. Rebound relationships move faster than a normal relationship. And more importantly, learn to stop obsessing over him and stalking his facebook.

    #1261
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    Thanks for the reply Kevin! The problem is I’m not sure she’s a rebound, if you read my story, you might see why..
    Also I try not to and I didn’t stalk him, but it appeared in my front page so I saw it anyway! Also I have this thing that I need to know what’s happening everytime…
    What do you suggest I can do? I don’t see talking helping me at all!

    #1415
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    any ideas??

    #1432
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Hey,
    No one can be sure if that’s a rebound or not but it probably is. be calm and patient and work on yourself.make positive changes in your life.
    Don’t stalk him.i remember i didn’t check my FB for 34 for days when i was on NC.i used to open my prfile,upoload photos and that was it.
    Use it to show him that you are having a good time without him.
    Be cool and positive.

    #1437
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    Hi a.z. and thank you!
    I’m just afraid cause they’re already so close, he’s done much more things with her than what we had as it seems and I’m afraid he’s lost every interest on me.. As for the changes i have lost a lot of weight, not that i was fat but now I’m on my normal weight,maybe even less than that..I’ve also a nose ring,changed my hair a bit..I try to upload nice songs,pictures of me and check in when i’m out…but i’m not sure it’s working.It’s almost 2 months now..
    Do you beleive I should just wait until he contacts, if he ever does??

    #1439
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    It would be better if wait until he contacts you.but its ok if you do.before you contact him,you should make sure that you feel really happy and confident without him in your life and you should accept the fact that you may never get him back and be ok with it.

    #1440
    lovehim
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 4

    Rebound relationship tend to move faster. Thats why its best to do.nc. my ex is in a relationship we broke up June 1st on.june 8th i found out he had a new girl. They have done lots of things with her than he did things but i.know cant worry about that she is actually about to go back to school in 2 weeks he for some reason wants me in.his life but im still doing nc and making positive changes i.dont know how their relationship is goin to be when she go back.to school i.always say its a summer fling

    #1546
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    a.z. I beleive that’s the best but still I’m a bit worried sit and not doing anything will make him think that I no longer care about him at all..

    Lovehim,
    Thanks for the comment!But i’m not sure she’s a rebound..I broke up with my ex at the end of february and I learned he has a gf on June.he said he was with her two months,even though I’m not sure that’s true cause we talked back then.. And it frustrates me that he says he can’t give me the money, but went on holidays with his gf!

    #1576
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    That doesn’t make him move on.stop thinking about what he might be thinking and focus on your life.go out and have fun and let him see that you are having a good time.he left you and he really doesn’t expect you to care about him like you did before.

    #1770
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    But I beleive having a gf and going holidays with her is moving on, no?? How can I compare my little time with him with this??
    Ι do but it’s just not the same..Even if I go out and have fun,I’ll always think what he might be doing..I don’t want to think that but i can’t help it..And it frustrates me..that i did so much but nothing worked for me..I really would like to make things work for me, but the only i can do is post on fb and hope he will see my posts..

    #1804
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    He is on a rebound,and if thats a rebound,he is not moving on anytime soon.

    Stop obsessing over him,get yourself busy.you may have done so many thing until now,but you kept checking his photos and that really keeping you from improving.

    If you can’t stop yourself,deactivate your fb for a little while.its ok.
    Every thing is gonna be ok,help yourself and do something that makes you feel better.it may sound impossible right now,but you feel feel the change soon.

    Stop checking his photos.

    #1843
    Robot 3
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 469

    Sakura,

    Why don’t you gon on some dates? If he’s in a rebound relationship and they breakup, you also stop dating and start “chasing” with the plan mentioned.

    #1926
    Sakura
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 19

    Thank you a.z. and Dara.. I understand what you’re saying, I’m just afraid that even she’s a rebound and even if they break up, he wont want me..It’s been 2 months since we talked last time.. As for the dates..I’ve been trying that since a long time..I actually had been proposed by more that 5 guys, but i didn’t manage to go on a date with any of them! in fact most of them don’t talk to me anymore! And i can see that none of them want a relantionship, but sth else that i’m not willing to give. i’m not that kind of girl and also it’s so difficult for me to date someone if i’m not even interested in him..
    Sometimes I really feel like somebody has cursed me

    #1999
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Sakura,the best thing you can do right now,is to follow the plan.
    Stop obsessing over him.stop thinking about what he may do and don’t try to predict the future.

    Only you can make yourself happy so do something about it.deep down you know that it was not the worst thing that could have happened in your life.so be strong and be sure that non of these feelings is permanent.help yourself and make positive changes in your life.go on dates even if you are not interested in them but go on dates.

    Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

    -You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
    -You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
    -You have made a few positive changes in your life.
    -You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
    -You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
    -You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
    -You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

    IF you really want him back,this is the best way.

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