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If you think that his mind will make excuses for everything you tell him, it probably will. That means his mind is made up and that for now, this is what has to happen. As I’ve said, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be permanent. What it does mean is that begging, pleading, convincing, etc. are not going to help your case. You have to go NC and give him that time you talked about so he can discover whether or not he does still have feelings. If he does, then he’ll be in touch and you can work on it. If he doesn’t, then at least you know and can begin to heal.
What do you mean by rushing into things? I’m not familiar with your 600+ post backstory ahaha.
It is a new relationship? I thought you were breaking up AGAIN and had a long history.
How is that even possible. We were apart for 4 months! We saw each other with some regularity
How can he not have feelings. Today I was like I felt guilty about letting us break up but now maybe it really was for the better cause now we can have a good relationship. Now I’m back to feeling bad about myself, cause if I didnt screw up we probably would still be together and he wouldnt have lost his feelings
I want to tell him I love him. if this might be the last time i have with him i want to. idk what to do. maybe I should just not even be with him and maybe that will make him feel he did lose me for good and decide to try again?
Going to talk with him maybe will just set it even more?
They are breaking up again and did have a long history. They were just starting over and trying to take things slow initially.
we dated 5 months, were apart 4 months, got together a week and a half ago. it is supposed to be a new relationship yes. not a continuation. its what we say here
The truth of the matter is is that there’s probably not a whole lot of logic or sense behind this. It’s just how he feels and what he needs to do for himself right now. He obviously has some feelings because he’s kept you in his life and he tries to communicate, they just may not be the feelings you want, unfortunately. Nothing you did caused this. This is entirely on him, so beating yourself up won’t help. What will help is trying to just let this go for now. If you really feel the need to talk to him and tell him you love him, then do it. I don’t personally see the point or how it makes any difference now, as he clearly knows you do, but is choosing this path anyway. But you need to do what’s right for you, not what I would do. If you do talk, you need to start no contact after that. Full no contact. And you need to do it for yourself, not just to make him miss you. Hopefully, that will be something that goes along with no contact. But at this point, you need to take this for what it is as the moment and start trying to regroup to move on without him.
I agree with both of them! But I’m still confused as to how sex pertains to this? Can you explain so I can give you a better understanding and advice!
I am really sorry this happened. I’m not sure if he meant he didn’t like you you. I think he meant that he doesn’t like you like that. When people begin to experience different parts of their life, it brings about confusion.
It is good that you didn’t beg and plead and tell him you love him though. When people get into something deep again that they may not get ready for, they tend to back away like that!
i said that maybe because we didnt do it and i didnt say i love him, i didnt bring up those feelings in him. i just was keeping this passionateless and now he doesnt feel anything
im gonna deal with moving on after. now i need to think what is best to still have a chance
I’m not sure what more help we can give you when we’re all pretty much in agreement. I know this is hard and I don’t want to come off as callous like I know I did before when talking to you, but the best thing you can do to honestly have a chance is to start focusing on yourself, begin NC all over, and hope that he realizes he’s missing you and wants you still. I’m sorry, but that’s the harsh truth. There’s nothing else you can really do besides that, as like I said, there’s no magic fix for this. You can say you love him or offer to sleep with him if they’ll make you feel better in the long run, but I suspect they won’t. I could be wrong though. You do what you’ve got to do but know that at this point, I think the only thing you can really hope to do to win him back is to let it go and accept that if it’s meant to be, it will work out.
I hate to agree with @between1standa on this one, but it is so true..
Like I said, I really hate saying that because I don’t ever want anyone to lose hope and I want to give people as much support and help as I can. But in this case, I literally see nothing you can do besides give it time and your best thoughts. That and to really take care of yourself. You’ll never get over it and find someone better or you’ll never win him back if you don’t care of yourself and grow as a person. You’re way more special than he is, so it’s important to do that.
But how did you screw up this one? I dont think you did, it sounds like he was not sure in the first place did he not say all the time let’s see how this goes So the best you can do no matter how much this hurts right now is not to beg, try not to cry, try to be as calm as you can ( I know it is asking a lot) making love nor saying you love him would not have made any difference. Try to speak as calmly as you can. It sounds like he is not sure of what he wants and it was wrong of him to say lets get back together if he was not more sure about it. So try not to blame him, try to be as nice as you can and then take time apart. There is no miracle cure that any of us can give you or magic answer. If you do anything drastic like beg or get into argument it will for sure drive him away, calm you is better and then complete nc. I know you already did that but that is the only way for now. You should not feel bad because you did not mess this up this time. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
No dont say anything about him being confused, because men do not like if you are trying to tell them how they might feel. That is absolute no no. I think best is to go for back to nc and then take care of you and see what he does. If you start telling him I think you are confused, need more time lets go slow he wont go for it now. I know this is not what you want to heat but there are things that you cannot change and that is what he said he wants for now and that is to break up. As hard as that is to say to you and even worse for you to hear but this is the situation.
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