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So I dont even know what to think. He called me an hour ago saying he wanted to talk. I got in the car he said, sorry about this, about these days, but I don’t feel the same for you anymore, I don’t like you enough to assume this commitment with you.
I asked what? didnt you like me before?
He said yes but I dont think I do anymore, what do you want me to say?
I said when did you realize that? He said he has been thinking about it since last week.
I asked are you breaking up with me for good? He said yes.
I got out of the car.
Please help me! I thought he loved me, we didnt even had sex yet, now I regret it all, I regret not saying I love him, I regret not doing it with him, why did i saved up for later, there is no turning back from this now, what do I do? There must be a way
Oh my god, Kaila, I am so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine having that conversation. You are in my thoughts and prayers right now. I’m not sure what advice I can offer or what exactly you want to know, but I will say that in the long run, if things don’t work out from here, not sleeping together and not saying I love you will probably have been for the best. Again, I am so sorry. I am completely here to listen. Just message back and let me know what’s going on or what you want to talk about or know.
I remember being at this point with my gal once. I just felt weird for a week and told her I ‘wasn’t feeling it’. I didn’t make the call to end the relationship, but I just felt like that for maybe about a week when I was sort of struggling with my own things.
Of course, I went back to my usual affection toward her once a bit of time had passed. Maybe this could be similar?
Not sure what to say since he actually wants the break, but it might just be his current mindset. Other things could be bothering him outside of just you, or it could be you too.
You might not want to attack and probe him about why he doesn’t like you anymore. I don’t want to say give him space because he could move on with that mindset as his momentum. I think you should structure your conversation a little and maybe get him to come back around to seeing what he saw in you before. Sometimes it’s just a mood and some good memories and positive talk of the future can make a difference.
I dont want to lose him for good! What do I do? I wanted to cry and beg, i just got out of the car not to worsen everything. I dont want to give up. Please help me! How do I make him try? My mom bought the tickets fr saturday today, we were going to have dinner together, sleep together for the first time, i was going on a ride with him and his group! Everything this weekend i dont know how i can overcome this. I thought i was doing everything right, got him back, messed everything up and now this
@Fella sounds like a plan. Please help me with that. I can’t even think! Give me examples of what I should say, how do I structure it?
I made him say “yes i want to break up for good”
What do I do now?! I became too passive maybe, how come he wanted to work for it and now this?! Help me please
You did a good thing by just getting out of the car. It shows that you’re strong and you’re not going to beg and you’re worth more than what he’s giving you. You don’t need to necessarily give up, just as you didn’t before, but I think you probably need to go back to NC and a place of taking care of yourself. It’s so hard when you had all these plans and things scheduled, it makes it a lot worse because you think of all the things you’re missing. But you did absolutely nothing wrong. You didn’t mess up. He did. So take a deep breath, realize that again this might not be the end, but that if it is, you’re going to be just fine and we’re all here to support you.
well yes, but i called 10 minutes later
and said i want to talk. today. either now or after your class.he said its difficult for me to have just come out of there and go back again.
i said difficult? you dont know whats difficult! he said dont tell me that like i dont know whats difficult.
i said if you went thru the same i did these four months you would know what really is difficult
Yeah asking him if he was breaking up with you for good probably wasn’t the best one to ask there… kind of makes him decide in the moment and now he might have some pride in that decision and be a little more difficult to move.
Do you not know of any of his current struggles? Are there existing problems in the relationship?
Instead of sobbing about it and freaking out (which I know is impossible to avoid anyway) be constructive and make improvements in these areas. Come back to him with progression and understanding rather than pleading for things to continue.
If you’re unsure, say that. “I’m not sure what might be making you feeling this way, but I’d like to understand and maybe I can help.” Right now HE’S not feeling well. Make it about him, not you.
I really can’t conjure a suave line for you to say and get him back in one fell swoop, but I think the problem may be more in him than it is you.
i will deal with being ok with this later if it comes to that. now im gonna fight. i didnt come this long way to give up! please guys help me here. i cant think, i dont have time to read. he said he would meet me after his class. In about two hours! I got that time! Please help me!
I thought everything was coming together, I was thinking of our future and all that. I was determined to change. Maybe I asked for too much too sudden. I was a bit confused too, but I was determined to just keep going. And now this! Pls help me!
He went back to his ex once and I guess he didnt feel like this. So I dont have many hopes. Why this always happens to me? Everyone that got back said they didnt feel the same! Whats my problem? 🙁
I’m curious as to how he responded to that. I know it’s been really hard for you, and don’t want to discredit that. But if you still really want to get him back, I don’t think lashing out or guilt tripping him is going to help. Others may disagree, but I personally would not have had that conversation with him. I would take a step back, breathe, and start NC again.
Woah ho ho, slow down there. Friction isn’t going to help either of you. Don’t cloud the field with anger. Take a breath.
WHen i said i dont have time to read i mean find articles online. if any of you knows of some i will read them
I’m not sure articles are going to help at this point. Unfortunately, there’s no magic cure to get your ex back. I think in this case, you’re just going to have to start back at the very beginning and hope that NC brings both of you to a better place.
He’s probably looking for a change in his life by now, just because he’s verbally committed to this being ‘the end’.
Maybe if you can find another change for his life, one that’s not you leaving his life, that might satisfy the desire. Again, I don’t think the problem is solely your character, I think there are plenty of other factors within his personal life.
Fella, I treated him a bit bad last time. I changed a lot my mentality, and he knows that. We had a great talk the other day. And we were good. I didnt do anyting wrong to him
He has problems at home and at work. I think he might be confused and thinking he should be feeling something else right now, something more. But I have been having some uncertainties in my mind as well and I just decided to keep going and see what would happen.
I would like to think that maybe he is rushing into things, that maybe its not gonna be that fast to feel the same all over again. Its a new relationship and it takes time. But I think that for everything that I tell him, his mind will make excuses.
If I say lets just try maybe he will with time regain or realize he does have feelings, or it will be even worse cause he stayed when he didnt want to stay
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