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@kaila He responded to my message with “Thanks!” and a smiley. Nothing more than this.
Lol it sounds like he’s not aware that him playing with you like this is a bad thing. Don’t let this get to you, his ego is just too big. Why are you planning to meet up with him? I know that it makes you feel better sometimes staying friends with your ex but in the end you’ll just get hurt from it. That’s why I cut contact with my ex, because I’m tired from him playing with my feelings and making me confused all this time.
That’s a great way of thinking! And congrats for getting a new job! I’m happy for you! 🙂 And I’m from Israel btw 😛
He was a total jerk to me. Lol. He has stuff that is mine. If he didn’t I would reconsider meeting up or not. But I have no choice. Might as well stand up for myself and ask him directly with a poker face what has he been saying about me to his friends.
Israel, cool. How do you like it? Your english is pretty good 🙂 do you play lol? And thanks 😀 I’m really scared and excited at the same time. Afraid I won’t do good x)
Oh I see. Then do it and play it cool! It’s all his lost! Have confidence talking to him and it will make you feel great!
Thanks! By lol you mean League of legends? I’m familiar with this game but haven’t played it. I’m more into MMORPGs like Blade & Soul and such 😛
I know how you feel! The best thing is to believe in yourself! You know you can do it! 🙂
ty10, sorry for not answering before! Thank you 🙂 I think so too! How are you doing?
Yes I mean League of Legends 🙂
Yeah will do. Be confident about everything. Or at least try! 😛
Thanks for the support xx
No worries @Kaila I felt like I was butting in haha!
I’m better – day at a time and all that. Tomorrow’s 3 months since I last heard anything from the ex and if anything, the only feelings I have left are anger and disappointment that she broke promises and didn’t finish things in the right way… I deserved better than that. Anyway, bobbing on here seeing how others are doing is actually helpful!
@ty10 I know what you mean! It helps seeing how others are doing and helping them. It makes you feel better and taking your mind off things a little 😉
Definitely @Oshi – I remember thinking how can someone I’ve talked to every day for god knows how long just cut me off like that… then coming on here you realise you’re not the only one.
Plus it’s nice to come on and see some stories have positive conclusions, even if it’s the person who has been dumped moving on to better things.
@ty10 I agree. It doesn’t matter if you’re getting your ex back or not. What’s important is that you become a better person and moving forward with your life while feeling complete with yourself. I don’t think I would have been able to move on like this if not for this website and the people here. You realize that there are so many good people around and not everything is lost 🙂
I fully agree @Oshi – some on here are genuinely fantastic. The best piece of advice I’ve got is ‘sometimes you’ve got to throw everything out to the universe and if it doesn’t comeback then it wasn’t meant to be.’
It’s great to chat about things here too, I think my friends are sick and tired after 3 months of me going on about things. I found out my ex is seeing her ex again yesterday, many of my friends just keep saying move on so it’s nice to vent here rather than tell them that because I think they’re bored of it!
@ty10 I completely understand what you mean! My friends are tired as well after 4 months of talking about it so it’s nice coming on here and share everything knowing that you’re not the only one that’s going through this thing. People here can sometimes relate and understand your feelings better than people who are close to you.
I feel your pain. I’m trying not to check on my ex’s social media because honestly what does it give me? I’m just feeling worse after doing it and it doesn’t get me anywhere. When I start feeling a bit down I’m trying to see things for what they are. It’s their life, they can do whatever they want. And if it’s good for them then let them have it. In the end they will be the ones that have regrets in their heart and feeling worse because they realize how much we cared for them and loved them like no one else did. When they are in pain, they will start thinking and doubting their decisions. But we might not be waiting for them anymore by then.
I’ve read some about your situation and honestly you sound like a nice guy who was there for her when she needed you while she’s still not sure about what she wants. You deserve a lot better. And what I learned from relationships is that sometimes you discover another side of your partner that you haven’t noticed or wasn’t there before and it is not your fault. I believe that if someone truly loves you then they will come back to you and will be willing to overcome the obstacles together.
Oh definitely, nobody I know has really been through what I have whereas coming here there are so many different stories and they know what to say as they’ve been through it.
I did the checking social media for a while until I realised it was making me worse and I was angry that she was keeping tabs on me too…A sense of you broke this off you don’t deserve to see what I’m doing. Ever since I deleted her I’ve become much better. One friend told me I should’ve done it straight away and I wish I had but then I wouldn’t have found about her lies… swings and roundabouts.
Thank you for the kind words @oshi – everyone who knows me says I deserve much better, in fact I’d say many on here deserve much better and it takes a bit of time to move forward to find that. In my case, my two friends who met her were shocked and appalled about how she treated me as both described her as a ‘keeper’ because she was pretty much perfect for me – well until you find the side of her you don’t know! And sometimes when you do discover that side you realise that you’re worth a hell of a lot more than they can ever deserve.
Perhaps in many of our stories there is a lesson for us all, such a cliche but it’s to learn from what we’ve been thorugh – I know now not to be so naive as to believe everything everyone says as gospel truth, it was very naive of me to and if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be in the situation I am now.
“because she was pretty much perfect for me – well until you find the side of her you don’t know! And sometimes when you do discover that side you realize that you’re worth a hell of a lot more than they can ever deserve”.
Exactly!
Sometimes we tend to see things the way we want them to be. That’s what I’ve learned from my situation. I used to appreciate every little thing in my relationship and it was perfect in my mind, but apparently it wasn’t the same for him (Although he did say a lot of time how much this relationship means to him and such) He took me as granted and had other plans in his mind for himself, such as studies and work where I don’t take part in, instead of thinking of our future TOGETHER. Then I discovered his other side of egoism, which I haven’t noticed until then. It’s really hard for me to open up to people and that’s why I worry sometimes that I wouldn’t be able to trust another guy. Seeing how many good and sincere people there are here makes me feel better 🙂
Sometimes we tend to see things the way we want them to be.
Best piece of advice anyone can give is to look at your relationship like you would if you were judging anyone else you know. I ignored the fact that we hadn’t really met one anothers friends although I was pushing her to (a sign of lack of commitment) and glossed over when one her friends I actually met sayid she doesn’t do relationship’s thinking I was the exception to the rule (and her friend thought I was too!).
I think perhaps in many cases in failed relationships, one side won’t include the other half in their decision making and don’t want to let them into their lives. My ex made decisions to do other things when she had plans with me a few times and the last time she did that (the day before we broke up) I finally snapped and said ‘I’m sorry I bothered’, in a way I regret it as perhaps that was the final straw – but I didn’t then and don’t now want to be in a relationship where I’m the afterthought and a convenience.
Sadly in the honeymoon phase we miss out on the flaws a person have, of course some you can live with but the major red flags often go amiss. Her being friends with an ex that cheated did make me uncomfortable but her reasoning made sense – now I would question it in a new relationship.
I know what you mean about trusting again – to have a girl I adore lie to me about her ex, saying that a cheater’s always a cheater, telling porkies about meet ups and that they only remained ‘kind-of’ friends because of mutual friends was clearly bollocks when they’re seeing each other and she’s posting pics of them ‘catching up’. I think I’ll struggle to trust again as I did in this relationship and I will be more wary in the future but I certainly will try not to let it affect me a lot, I certainly won’t be getting paranoid about future relationships.
As a friend said last night to me – what ever happens happens, just be laid back and don’t think about anything too much. A lesson for us all.
@ty10 You’re right. We should learn from our previous relationships but we shouldn’t let them effect us too much.
How long were you together if I may ask?
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