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Posts
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Hey Kaila,
I hadn’t seen that you responded because I was so busy yesterday. As for the way you met your ex, I’ve heard this story more than a couple of times before through my readers. Different scenarios like a club, a party, a school dance, etc. Teen guys never stop talking about girls especially the ones that they like-so it wouldn’t be too difficult to figure out that you are the girl that your ex was talking about.
Addressing the burning feeling in your throat and chest-sounds like you should check that out with your physician because real twinsouls don’t describe the physical pain that they feel using the word “burning”. It’s more of an aching, longing, deep empty pain that goes through you especially in the chest area which is where the heart chakra is located. In your case, a burning sensation in your throat can be an increase in acid that creates that kind of burning sensation due to high levels of stress.
I think it’s a bit of a stretch to say that your ex was lying. Thinking that an ex is lying is the mind trying to protect itself from the harsh reality of what happened. Guys that are truly in love don’t lie about their feelings because they can’t stand to be away from their woman. And more importantly, guys are very territorial and get jealous quite easily when they think of their love interest with another guy therefore they are very eager to claim her and lock her down in a relationship. So the bottom line is if they want a girl, they would let nothing stand in their way to be with her. I’m sure there is a much better match out there for you than your ex and it’s great that you are moving on because most concerning is that you had suicidal feelings in the past over this guy. As I read your post, I noticed you contradict yourself a lot. A part of you seems to be moving on and the other part continues to make excuses about the breakup. And it’s really obvious that you are hanging on to a bit of hope that when you do talk to him, he will return to you.Hey dragon girl. Hum no, we saw each other on the street like 3 times before my friend and him got to know each other that day. We didn’t know each other at all.
My pains only started after the break up and mostly when I feel bad about this. Also as I said twin souls are not certain, as NOTHING in this life, so I won’t see anything thru it, it’s just a way to consider this all might have some meaning.
He won’t come back if I talk to him cause I don’t even want him to. He would have to do way more to get me back at this point. Just talk isn’t enough.
Moving on and still having some hope or wanting it to work somehow someday isn’t contradictory. Many people have said the same thing on here, and people I truly fully admire and that have their head straight not delusional people.
Also I’m not sure how you don’t know by now a lot of exes do that? Lying about feelings to cover for something else is quite common in exes.
Things aren’t either black or white. And thank you if you are trying to help but as you think twin souls must exist, I also keep my options open, and that won’t change.
I hope your situation is evolving on a good note though. Never seen you talk about it here muchHey Kaila,
When you actually meet your twin soul, you will know without a doubt and with complete certainty that they exist. But until then, I think you will have doubts that they exist. I in fact didn’t even know that they existed until I began having symptoms/signs and then did many years of research to understand wtf was happening. It’s a very overwhelming experience. The pains that you have sound like they are correlated with your high stress levels.Yes it’s contradicting and it’s because your heart and mind are not in the same place. With time, they will eventually realign with each other. I’m not trying to get you to change your options lol. Does he even text you? And yes, I know all about feelings and the games exes play with one another. But lying doesn’t seem like a likely probability in your situation. And I say this because I have talked to other people in your situation that had exes that said the same thing. I do hope you find resolution when you do talk to him for your peace of mind.
Addressing this part of your last post-“Also in 1 week you can’t be SURE of your feelings”. Yes Kaila, when a guy is truly in love, he knows it. He does not need a week to be sure of any feelings. He just knows that he needs to be with that girl and will do anything to make it happen. Just take a look at the guys’ posts on this board. They are hell-bent on getting their exes back because they have such strong feelings for them.
Addressing my situation-I’m a relationship writer for the last ten years that was here for research. On a personal note, I am not single and haven’t been for several years. I’ve learned what it takes to have a great relationship as well as how to get an ex back through my readers as well as through personal experience.
Wow I’m confused. I thought you said even though you both broke up you still live in the same place? O.o
Well my previous ex (of 3 years ago) wanted to break up with me twice (in 2 weeks) (LDR), I was able to convince him not to, until we could be together, started moving on, and then he woke up and started calling and crying and before all this I asked him how we were gonna solve the distance problem and even though we were together for 2 years he just answered he didn’t want to talk about it! LOL. After me breaking up, he was after me for 6 months, After 3 months he all of a sudden wanted to move to my city. He only stopped cause he started dating a girl, they got engaged in a year and are now married 🙂 I’m really happy about him. But anyway what I want to say with this is, sometimes guys (or girls) get desperate, just that. Some people here don’t truly Love. It’s just desperation, the drug being taken away. Love is an emotional thing, but rational too.
I guess part of me feels we might work, but not now at all. I’ve pushed him really far back to get back now. I don’t think I could do it… I have mostly accepted we are not getting back. It’s just hard as I saw many many qualities in him. Its hard for me to think I’ve lost that, that someone else might have it instead of me. It sucks to feel like you didn’t really mattered. I don’t even cry anymore. Today he posted some pics and was with the shirt I had made for him. I know it means nothing. It’s a cool shirt x) *pats own back*
It’s just life right? In part I wish we would have worked. But I’m excited for what’s ahead. I know I deserve someone that will love me fully, and not want to let me go. I have been venturing to other things already x)
And dragongirl no offense, take this as constructive criticism, I think you take things way too black or white. Some people date, break up, reunite after YEARS (even 15 years). Meanwhile they might lose feelings, they might think they want something else, yada yada yada. But down the line they meet again, and now are at a place where they want to be together, they fall in love again, and they start something new. There are many stories. There might be some connecting dots but there’s always variables.
Also consider the people that never truly find real love? Or just consider those that never find twin flames. Should they try to be with the best person they have ever met or reject their own feelings and wishes to find something they might never find? Not really such a serious question so don’t get mad. Just curious on your thoughts
hello @dragongirl
ive been following kailas story as she has helped and posted to mine many times a lot which ahs been super helpfull 🙂
without being cheeky and dropping in like this..
your posts are quite interesting and gave me quite an incite i have to say..
i am really stuck as to what to do in my situation as it is right now.
i hope you would be able to give some of your advice as to what to do? i can link my thread for you to have a gander maybe, it is quite long but even if it was to just flick through i would appreciate it more than anything!as i feel right now.. is i still have strong feelings. and the situation is kind of a hard one to work out. weve been broken up since january 30th, so almost 4 months now.
if not then thats also okay!
Hi Kaila,
I’ve been super busy so haven’t had a chance to read or reply to your post. To clear up some confusion about me-My boyfriend and I live together and are in a long-term relationship. I’ve learned so much about relationships through my own relationship experiences in the past as well as from hundreds of thousands of my readers.
Addressing your post-Do you think that’s what happened in your situation-that it was a drug that your body was craving and you needed to have it therefore you felt it was best to fight for it?It really sucks you lost a guy that you loved but I hope that you find someone that has his qualities. Always remember one of the key factors that makes a guy stay in a relationship is the way that you make him feel. Make him feel appreciated, loved, inspired to be the best man he can be, focus on all the best things about him and make him feel really good about himself. When a guy is treated like that, he will devote himself entirely to your relationship and the two of you will have a strong emotional bond that will help you guys get through life’s ups and downs. Cheating won’t even enter his mind because he is so happy in the relationship.
Addressing the part of your post about me seeing things in black and white. I know that you meant well but honestly you didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. I have interviewed hundreds of couples that got back together many years after they split. I’ve heard a million different variables from my readers during my writing career so the constructive criticism was pointless. It sounds more like your mind’s way of keeping hope alive that you and your ex will get back together at some point in the future. You never know you might. But for now, it’s better that you put him in your past just like it sounds like you are doing because to do otherwise, would leave you stuck and miserable. And there are a lot of people on these boards that are stuck waiting for their ex to come back. It’s the best thing after a breakup to see the relationship for what it actually is instead of what it could become in the future.
Addressing this question-“Should they try to be with the best person they have ever met or reject their own feelings and wishes to find something they might never find?” It doesn’t matter if a person tries to be with the best person they have ever met if the person doesn’t want them in a romantic capacity. It won’t do them any good to fight for someone that can’t or won’t reciprocate those feelings. One of the most unattractive qualities to someone that breaks up with their partner is when the other person won’t stop trying to reconcile.
A person is pretty much forced to reject their own feelings and wishes if the other person isn’t on the same page as they are. Love has to be mutual in strength and depth for a relationship to work out. Unrequited love in which the other person can’t reciprocate the strength and depth of your feelings is one of the most painful things in this life. Many people feel like they have lost the will to live and see no point in going on living. But what they should remember is that when a chapter in their life book closes, another one begins. And they just might find the true love that they are looking for in that new chapter.
Hey Thargus,
Good to hear that you find my posts interesting. I will check out your thread when I have a chance!
Thanks kaila. I’m mostly good, have some good days and some bad. I haven’t been here for some time as well, busy with exams. How are you doing? 🙂
What have been the most recent advancements though? I’m ok… Stresses about not getting a job, other than that I’m good 🙂
Good luck with those btw 😛
I’m glad to hear that everything is good 🙂 Thanks, I’m going to find a job as well after the exams, good luck with that too ^_^
Not much has changed. Since our last meeting he started to initiate conversations all of sudden. He calls me every 5-6 days. We talk about regular things. The weird thing now is that he offered to meet up. And even sent me a video of a cute kitten he saw while taking his dog for a walk. He knows that I love cats, and he was often sending me videos like this when we were together. Honestly I don’t know what to think about this. But I’m not going to get my hopes up. I’m moving forward with my life regardless of him.
Wow that seems nice though! Its good you are moving forward with your life.Are you going to meet up? When?
We are meeting up next week on Monday. I’m not sure what to think of it. I’m a little nervous and getting my hopes up but I shouldn’t. The problem is that he doesn’t show his feelings. He’s being friendly and all but nothing more. And even if he wants something more his ego is too big and I don’t think he will say anything directly.
Maybe just try to be fun and relaxed so that he doesnt feel like he has to be distant or anything and he can get his guard down and if he has feelings and wants to be back he will do something 🙂
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