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I think rebounds depend on quite a few things. How soon did this happen after the breakup? Also, do not say a word to her about it being a rebound or anything because it will push her to stick with it, and if he’s as bad an influence as you say she does not need that in her life.
Keep your chin up high with the rest of us. I think it’s okay to worry a little bit when we see/hear things like that, I know I do at times, but we don’t know the whole story. Both the people posting on here and our exes are going through a lot of emotions and it can be confusing.
I’ve seen this mentioned a lot on the forums and I know it’s helped me a lot, so mull it over maybe? “Water your own grass.” Hope this helped a bit.
Yes, yes I do. My ex said she wanted to stay in touch and still thought of me as her best friend. She said she could not stand to not have me in her life, yet she has made no contact aside from when I was in the hospital. Beyond that, nadda.
But I also think she might be looking elsewhere for a relationship, despite saying she did not want to be in one for quite some time.
Confusing times, eh friend?
Having a bit of trouble keeping NC… it’s so tempting. My ex and I were together for 5 years. There were ups and downs, but I was always there for her when she needed me and I know everything about her.
My problem is my ex decided, with strong family influence, to move out and break up. She’s now living in a city that’s about 45 minutes away with some girls she goes to school with. The thing is she is the odd man out with this group, but she’s trying her best to fit in and be someone she’s not. It also doesn’t help that there’s this girl that had been hitting on my ex hardcore when we were still dating… and she’s living with her now. This particular girl had been in a relationship while she was doing all of this. It worries me what might be going on between them, but I really do not think she’s my ex’s type. I know for a fact she is not in the looks department, as my ex is very shallow with looks and this girl does not have a lot going for her in that department, as mean as that is to say. To add to that, she NEVER smiles… kind of has a serial killer look to her.
I guess it’s just really rough for me since my ex made the decision to split and lied to me and kept a lot from me. She told me many times I’m her best friend and she can’t live without me in her life, yet she has not made any attempt to contact me. We’ve known each other since we were little and were best friends for 7 years, but her behavior and actions, or lack there of, seem to contradict everything.
I’m doing my best to stay active, excel at my job, exercise daily, eat better, and get out with old friends and new ones. I’ve picked up new hobbies and go on long drives listening to music as it calms me down.
I know if I break NC, she’ll get power from it. I refuse to let that happen after how she initiated the split. I guess I need to keep watering my own grass, but man it can be tough sometimes.
This thread gives me the push I need to keep on keepin’ on. You folks are wonderful.
@LAbound, it’s okay to feel scared. But here’s the thing, you’re in a better place right now. I bet she does still miss you. But we have to keep control. And no, you’re no doormat
I would like to say I’ve read a lot of your posts and I find you to be a strong, thoughtful dude. Honestly, you’re an inspiration, so take something from that man. Keep doing you.
I’d say continue to be patient. You’re only at a stand still in your mind. Look how far you’ve come already. The more you focus on yourself, the great things in your life, and focus on wanting a happy, healthy relationship, LOA should work out on its own in some way. I’ve been reading up on that too!
I waited 2 years for a shot at dating my now ex, and I have never regretted it. Patience pays off in abundance.
Stay strong! I completely understand what you mean by counseling if there is reconciliation. That will be one of the requirements if my ex decides she wants to work things out. It’s a good way to see if they’re serious about a possible relationship or not.
I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum as far as collecting possessions go though. My ex got the majority of her things from my place, but left a closet full of her stuff. She said she’d get it later, but I’m thinking it was a preemptive measure to have some things here if it did not work out at her new place or she wanted to come back. Needless to say, that stuff is no longer here anymore.
