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We’ve got lots of very close mutual friends! That’s how we met.. But he hasn’t come home (he lives away) since so hasn’t opened up to anyone! It’s like he’s isolating himself..
I’m not holding out hope! I know he thinks he’s helping by not texting.. He does care, he is a great guy! That’s the hardest thing.. He has never hurt me in the whole 6 years we’ve been together! I hope it is just that he’s panicked about the house and associated that with his attraction for me.. Do you think it’s possible?
Drives you crazy doesn’t it!! x
It’s a good sign that she misses you. Maybe she just needs a little longer to work out what she wants to do with those feelings?
Do try and be patient, it’s so hard but it’s essential!I’m 99% sure there is no one else! It was one of the first questions I asked when he said he wasn’t happy, and the hurt in his eyes when he told me no meant I believed him!
I have joined a gym last week and really started pampering myself and my skin and even I can tell I look better and I see myself every day so I’d like to think he will notice after a month apart! That’s if he agrees to meet.. There’s a lot riding on that!
I’m getting impatient now, I just want to text him and know that I’m moving forward.. But I guess I’ll have to wait until after the weekend so I have a reason to text!I think if you give her space there is as much chance of her coming back as there is of her not! Even more so if she’s saying she still loves you.. Don’t underestimate that! Appreciate it please because I’d do anything to hear my ex say he still loved me!
Take a look at my thread and see what you think to my situation..
I think you’ve got as good chance of any of us! Keep your chin up and keep smiling, she’ll notice!
You will, she’s been and is an important part of your life!
Someone said to me that you should never try to stop loving and caring about these people, just give them a little place in your heart, their own little compartment, and yes it is there and you can open it and feel happy, sad, cry about it, miss them, but you have to be able to put those feelings back into their compartment and lock them away! Otherwise they take up the whole of your heart and you will never move on..
I think you have to leave it to her now, you’ve shown her where your at and that’s all you can do! Keep bettering yourself, it sounds like your doing great, well done you, and become the best version of yourself! If this isn’t enough for her then you never will be, you will have to find someone who it is enough for! I know you don’t want to hear that and so many people will say it to you so im sorry!
Just keep smiling and showing the world (and her) how incredible your doing!Hi Juan,
I think you need to stick to your 30 days NC before you do anything else other than focus on healing yourself! You will be hurting, you will cry and you will feel like life as you know it is ending!
If things were wrong in the relationship, 2 weeks apart isn’t going to change them! You both need time to reflect on what you bring to the party! I’m sorry but 2 weeks is not enough time!
Don’t give up hope as people do change and realise, but this time really needs to be about you!
It will be so hard but you’ll see the benefit whatever happens! xI think caring is definitely better than hating if that helps?
Have you been doing NC and how long since the break up?
You need to show her your moving on, and then she will evaluate whether this rebound is worth losing you over!
From what you’ve said, you need to give her some space and not smother her with affection! I know you mean it and it’s meant with love but she’ll feel it’s a way of controlling her and it will push her away! It makes no sense and I dont get it but it seems to be the rule of the human race!I know where your coming from but if in a year she hasn’t come back would anything you’d said or done now that you haven’t already have made a difference?
I’d stick with respecting her decision, even though it is so hard to do when it’s down to someone else, and show her your the bigger person! She needs to make the decision on her own and I’m sure she soon will, either way!
I think doubt is a major player in the way we’re all feeling! If we knew exactly what was going to happen we wouldn’t be here would we? 🙂 I go between having this instinct, this definite feeling that he’s coming back to complete certainty that there is no way he will change his mind! It varies from one day to the next but the doubt is always there.. XI’d just start your 30 days again from when you last spoke and see how you feel when those 30 days are up. Just go with your gut i guess!
I have no doubts that if you are calm, collected and not too pushy, you can’t make it worse! Just take a breath and think before you do anything..
We all know how crucial timing is 🙂@annakis
I know what you mean, you will have your bad days! And it will feel like 30 weeks not 30 days! Your doing the right thing with NC just keep it up! Don’t regret what you’ve done already just learn from it.. They say it takes half the time of your relationship to truly get over it for both parties so don’t expect this new guy to stick around long!
@jessR
We met up two days after he came out with all of this and he said he didn’t know what it was, it was just he wasn’t happy and wasn’t attracted to me! I think he’s suffering with the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome! I haven’t asked for more details about why as I don’t think he even knows which confuses me even more! I’m hoping he wants to meet to collect his stuff and we can go from there but he may tell me to leave it with his mum!
Thanks for your replies guys! 🙂If your afraid of the answer you need to wait until your ready to accept it, either way. We cannot make them love us, you just have to remind them of why they did. And i’m betting begging, pleading and being an emotional wreck isnt one of the reasons. Be strong and independent and beautiful!
I know how hard that is, and to be honest, i should be taking a dose of my own medicine but it really is THE best way.Do you think he will realise what he has thrown away and come back? Our relationship was so good, i just cant believe he’d want to throw it away! He’d even been collecting bits of furniture for the house as little as 2 weeks before we broke up, why would be do that if he thought he wasnt going to go through with it? He said it wasn’t about the house, but i guess he would say that wouldnt he? As by saying it is i have a way of making him change his mind?
What were your exes reasons for breaking up? How is your NC going?
I know it sounds stupid, but i just want him to realise so bad. His mum, who i am close to, has said she thinks he will realise he has made a mistake but doesnt know how long it will take him and that she thinks he will always compare. But i don’t want him to have to compare, i want him to have me!
He obviously has some issues in his life that he needs supporting through and I think you are right to want to offer this support, but it needs to be done right!
He needs to feel like your giving him the support as a friend, not using it as an in road to rekindling the relationship! I have no doubt that you want to support him no matter what but I’d just be aware of this! It’s a good opportunity to give him the reassurance of what an amazing person you are and what he’s missing as a partner! Just take it slow 🙂
I’d send him a message, just a statement, no questions, just, I’m here for you if you need me, plain and simple! Then he feels no pressure to respond but he knows he can still trust you!
Just don’t let him take you for granted! X
