octopus2016

oh yeah! I will put that one on my list for sure!!

I like suspense stuff. I have been binge watching the tv series the Killing for days. And I like scifi, horror and comic book movies (my fav!)

One side note. I haven’t cried since the night l packed up and left. I feel like it… I try to make myself. But I just can’t. And I cried a lot when I was with him… More than I had in over ten years combined. I don’t know what this means. I feel like I should cry. It’s healthy, they say.

Oh Sister, I am too. I go from glad, to mad, sad…. It is part of breaking the addiction of the relationship. And I dont mean addiction in a bad sense, but physically that is exactly what is happening. Withdrawl.

It is funny how you mention grade school level, because that is exactly how it has all felt the last week. I just spent a while reading another post that sounded so familiar – and then I realized these parties were 19 and 20. We are 41 and 43 for petes sake. Grow up.

During our relationship he kept expecting me to get angry over all kinds of things and I didnt – and my response to him usually was that I was a rational adult, why would I get mad over those things? Now that he is with this gal – who is full of drama, mind you – I think maybe he is just emotionally immature and craves drama. And add that to his narcissistic tendencies when he is stressed…. well, it is a poor mix. I am not probably the woman for him. I think if we could have worked things out we would have been very good for each other, but I dont think he knows how to handle happiness for too long.

At any rate, I am not replying to his message. If he comes in next weekend, he will get the same treatment as today – short answers, no small talk. Then I am ghosting and focusing on something else for a change. Something fun, and rewarding. All this negativity is for the birds!

You are absolutely right on all of it, and to be honest, I am struggling with trying not to turn into the hard person again – he opened up my soft side which is why I fell in love with him. I would like to keep it open and not be so strong all of the time. It does get exhausting. At the moment, I am pretty hard because that is my defense, which also happens to be why I am ready to say I am moving on. I may be acting too hasty.

Yes, he did things for me – a lot of it was encouraging me to try new things, distracting me from working all the time, doing fun things. If I needed anything, he would put aside whatever he had going and help me. And he knew how hard it was for me to ask, or let him do things. I really do think the stress of life caused a lot of problems. I just wish the problems it caused were not so serious.

oh! I forgot to mention – that one bag he was talking about going through was right outside in his car. he didnt need to wait. he is making excuses to come back.

games.

oh boy. This is going to be a somewhat fun story to follow. Let me give you a little more detail.

So I work at a record store on the weekends. This is one passion we shared – many nights we would just chill and listen to records and talk. Well he had ordered a hard to find record and it came in. I have been holding on to it because I thought I would use it at the 30 day mark to break the ice. So when I messaged him today, I told him it was here, and when he picks it up to please drop my stuff off.

Well, I totally did NOT expect him to show up an hour later while I was working. In he walks with my stuff and I said “oh. I didnt expect you to come in while I was here. ” He says “oh! Is that not ok?” I said “no, its fine.” He says “well, let me know if anything is missing and I will look for it. ” I picked it up and he saw right away something was missing. he says “oh, I will go through that one bag – I think all of our stuff is mixed up. I will bring it by next Saturday and get the movie I ordered. ” I said “ok”

So then he says “how did you like the concert the other night?” In my head I was like REALLY??????? Are you asking because you wanted to see if I saw you with that girl since I haven’t said anything about it?? I simply said “it was alright.” He said “I had a blast” I said “good.” Then he asks me questions about the record. I gave him one word answers and didn’t really look at him the whole time he was in. He said he was looking forward to listening to it. I said “enjoy.” and he left. That was an hour and a half ago.

Now he just messaged me the following:
“I’m sorry, I thought it was ok to come down to the store earlier, I didn’t mean you any disrespect. It was nice to see you , hope everything is cool”

So a few things here I am thinking about. #1, he asked about the concert to see if I saw. And wanted a reaction. He didn’t get one. I barely talked to him. It bothered him. GOOD!

I don’t think I will respond.