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So I sent my ex the money she needed, and a little letter (well not so little honestly) and the gift I got her, also the key to the apartment I still had. She told my friend that I sent her the money, but she didn’t mention any of the other stuff to him, neither did she reach out to me. But today (3 days later) she sent me a package with clothes I had left at the apartment, and a gift that she got from vegas a long time ago but I never took with me. Not completely sure what to make of it and I’m trying not to read to deep into it i guess, because I actually do appreciate the clothes because I needed them and never asked just forgot they was there, but she didn’t send a lot of other things, like my cologne I left which is her favorite of mine, or my backpack that I let her use for school or any gifts, necklace, earings ect. So i guess thats looking too deep but it got me in my emotions a lot and I’m feeling less emotional as I type this, but confusing I guess, and weird she mentions that to my friend but says nothing in detail
@madie all you are doing by keeping close to him is making him emotionally stable, and the more you talk to him the less he will think about you. Sounds weird but its true, not that he doesn’t care about you but his mind will be playing tricks, having his cake and eating it too is whats going on right now. The less available you are the more he will be come radical in making steps to getting away from the other girl and his mind and emotions will want you more and more. Wont happen if you are giving him what he is missing though while he is currently getting what he wants, which is the rebound
So I have this letter I wrote to my ex, literally took like 2 weeks to write this thing, and i sent it to a mutual friend of ours thats her closest friend right now, he said he was touched by it and everything and he understands a lot about the way i was acting during the relationship from his view on the outside after reading it. Sure she will be touched by it and all that good stuff and want to reach out. He though I should send it this monday, because I’m sending her some money with the gifts i got for her and a few of our other friends.
But my friend was telling me, the rebound relationship isn’t really working out and the guy doesn’t show interest really in her like she wants but she is still kind of pursing it. So that made me think “cool perfect time to swoop in” haha but now I’m thinking should I just wait till that situation all the way fades out?
the letter was more of a clearing thing for me, just because I owned up to a lot about the relationship and was honest about stuff we didn’t talk about etc and was like I’m good and moving on but no harm no foul, not have any bad blood about us. So rather it made her come back or want to be in contact I’m not really worried about. But our friend telling me about the rebound not working, and saying she still ask him how I’m doing time to time makes me think maybe I should hold off on that little longer?
Sounds good to me 🙂
Your intuition usually knows whats best when your feelings aren’t controlling the direction haha but coming here, or any where else for that matter is always a good buffer for impulse and emotional decisions , the road to ex recovery is long patient one you been doing really good 🙂 not that its over but been sticking to your guns even in tough times
thats amazing 😀
thats such a good sign he responded an hour later, so he was prolly re reading those text a lot and felt like he had to keep the convo rolling haha so great 🙂
I don’t want to get ahead of the game here but I think a brief inside on good stuff you have going on will be good, and asking him whats new with him, its a really good intro into casual talk again. really excited for you 🙂
@dopierk sounds good to me 🙂
just thought provoking did you think about putting, “how are you doing?” instead of hope you are doing well? or do you think that is too much or a force to try and get him to reply.
I think that sounds fine 🙂 the only other thing i guess considering is stuff like smileys or exclamations in the sentence. like
Hey, I heard on the radio Blink 182 is coming out with a new album in 2016. You must be so excited right now 🙂 . I hope you are doing well.
but i think in general thats a good conversational text i hope her replies to it!
dang 22 days, time is flying so fast its crazy. I don’t know if its just being in an emotional state makes 1 month feel like one week sometimes because you are kind of mental stuck in a place and time. But idk it sounds like texting is the option even though its little more impressionable maybe something simple would work, let us know what you come up with 🙂
and @Ras217 def would suggest working on letting the past go, as it is difficult but you have another chance you have to try really hard and view it as something new not using the past as a reference point because it’ll just continue to put you in a place of fear and he will eventually noticed that and possibly start questioning things. Maybe just do the keep it open and honest route since y’all are actually together 🙂 its fair thought to feel anxious but you either choose to be in fear or to be happy so go with happy and give yourself a gamble again letting the guard down little bit
@Dopierk how has it gone?
@cindyyv yeah don’t reach out, trying to stop that relationship or talking negative to him about will likely make it last longer and add more value, unfortunately just have to wait it out. Sounds like typical advice but you really do have to let it go for awhile and focus on you, short term discomfort but it works much better than chasing, especially chasing a guy. Men def don’t react the same way to chasing as women, its more of an ego boost for him and makes you look bad.
@ras217 yeah she likes gifts, she is very into souvenirs and stuff like that but i got back from vacation few days ago little early because thanksgiving, finally replied to her about sending some money few days but that was it. Before i left to vacation i mentioned meeting up she said it was too soon, which i agree but i got caught up in the moment because we was having a good conversation. So on those bases i was trying to decide to just send the money with no strings attached with the gift or maybe if we talk and meet up later in December give it to her then mention i got it when i was in LA for her. She is still in a relationship, my friend is saying its not very serious relationship to her still mainly just doing it for company so I’m still having to wait that out and could take a few months. But since she has been in the relationship she still has been open talking, as long as he isn’t around. Sometimes when he is, so I’m not really feeling too threatened by itoh sorry to hear that @Dopierk :/ know trying to get over someone gives you the whole break up feeling and everything all over again.
At least you tried to go on a date! I haven’t been on any dates that gave me the comfortable kind of natural feeling i had with my ex either. Most aren’t awkward but it isn’t that lets talk all night connection.
Of course I’m all down for moving on, but if its something you really want the hail marry pass is still an option. Wouldn’t suggest it but you know throwing yourself out there on last time in the right way could really star up his emotions (in person). Good to not talk during the holiday, def will be overlooked or either of you might be too busy, and if emotions get thrown in the mix it’ll mess up your family time. Its okay to let yourself ball out and cry though so don’t feel bad about it 🙂 i wish you didn’t have to but its a release still. You could of course meet someone down the road who will give you those good feelings again but in the time being don’t feel bad about still wanting your ex back, especially since you aren’t in a new relationship or anything, just let this week pass. I think the next text should be something more direct. How long has it been since you’ve been in contact again? like 3 weeks?
thats so great 🙂 and how long did you go without talking again before all this?
I agree with him, because my ex and i was best friends she was really involved in my relationship before her, being the go to person to talk to. She compared the relationships ALOT and its hard to build anything with somebody shadow over you haha But he sounds like he is in the place he is suppose to be, you have to keep the chase and the “dating” even if you are technically together , sounds great 🙂 not spending thanksgiving together this year is actually a great move though haha Just to not move too fast jumping head first into it. Think if y’all are still good this time next year, or even other events in the future it’ll make it even more special. But he could very much go back into freak out mode, i don’t think he will personally but ya know its the gamble we make 🙂
and yeah idk her getting mad or still being mad slightly gets to me, but i just came back yesterday, and don’t really have any plans. Just sticking to not talking unless she reaches out, and working on me and stuff i have going on. Got her a gift (little key chain) because i used to get her a gift everytime i travel because i travel often, that i was going to send with the money but i kind of fee like its alittle much right now and the thought of me chasing her right now seems to not work and she will take it as me not being over the break up. So was thinking ill just hold off on it.
My ex messaged me about some money i owed her (she helped me pay for a ticket during the summer) i didn’t reply to it right away cuz i was sticking to not talking while i was on vacation. But she text our mutual friend of ours mad about me not responding because she thought i blocked her number. Which he said she also was mad about that too because he told her “idk he hasn’t talked to anybody since he left really” Ended up texting her back 2 days later just saying ill send her and her son some money this week for christmas gifts. her replies was very short though nothing i tried to really read into. Just “ok” and “Thank You”. Still on no contact though, not expecting any serious convos until my birthday prolly.
Are you and your ex getting more involved? @ras217
@cindyyw you prolly didn’t make a mistake accepting him, just isn’t safe emotionally i guess if you get caught up too deep in the show him what he lost game and start making mistakes
