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Hi,
I am 100% agreed with Sparky.
for Rahul, I’d believed should go into a good NC. The period is about 30 days.
further more for Rahul, if you’d smoked then this is the TIME TO QUIT. or if you’d drink or what-ever you’ve addict. then THIS IS THE TIME TO QUIT.
Quit an addict during NC is a terrible things to do, Because NC is too much for our human being, yet we’d add on a quit, that’s seem like a tortured.
But trust me, if you counting day after day to quit an addict, and when you’d pass.
It’s a huge relief for yourself over the NC.
Because if you can quit an addict, that’s a guarantee you will pass 30 days NC easy.
So Rahul, get set… GO GO GO GO GO GO GO…Lol…
now we’d see, you’re afraid her anger. Meaning you’re fearful or scary of her. That’s 100% no-confident of you.
why this happened? you can see it’s because you’re obsessed her, your mind always thinking about her, always thinking she’s rejected you.
But that’s all wrong. What you’d see are only HER ACT. Those are fakes.
Why? Because if she really MEAN, then why she wanted you to see or known those words or actions of her?
Then. What’s those words or actions MEANING?
They’re meaning to HURT YOU.
So, you’d better laughing and I’m congratulate you. She’s always thinking about you in her mind, she still loves you on the bottom of her heart.
And you’d better taking those hurtful words and actions of her as the best presents she’s giving to you.
Merry Xmas.@Anna
If you’re looking for a place to see him, but somewhere you can get out easily, then may I suggest. You’d need a good restaurants, that is:
1. Quiet enough for you two can talking softly, or talking romantic.
2. Crowded enough for you two behave good in a public environment.
3. Restaurants is a place where’s any one can come and get away easily (as long as you’d paid the bill).
4. You’d need to come by your own transport and going out by your own transport, so if you’d wanted to go, just polite say you’re busy some things. That’s it.
Good luck for your happiness.Rahul,
I’d trust that she did never lied to you, but that’s in the past and nothing can prove us in the present. Right?
Further more, did she ever lied to any one of her friend? chance is: she only lied to that friend and that friend will carry a message for her.
In the very hurtful time of a human being, we tend to play game to get out of the hurtful, that’s every body on the world do, no exception.
and the basic tool yet very powerful to push away those play game is: JUST IGNORE THEM.
Hope you will get over and happy.@Rahul
1. do not listen to her friend. Cause those are really some of her pretended, those are for making you hurt, just like if she’s angry she wanted to beat some one…
2. those ignores, lying, disrespect… are exactly the same some one beating up some one… when they’re very angry.
So, I’d believe you keep cool, let those going and they will be gone.
Good luck.6/12/14: day 6st of None Contact:
Two day before, she had a strike that really knock me down.
She text me to let me know that she booked the solicitor to transfer the property from her name to my name, that will be some work and she include in her text, and I’d just instantly reply with thanks her. Then about 2 and half hours later I’d send a text to her that I’m refuse it and asked to cancel the solicitor booking.
Yesterday when I’ve got home, she asked me to go to the solicitor with her and I’d refuse and has a good long talking with her, explain my reason of refuse is: because I’d see that she’s so good person and I don’t want to take the property and loose her (I’d know I’m a looser).But I told her that I’d graceful accept the break, and now treating her just as a person whom we’re sharing house with respect their own life.
The talking last for more than an hour, then we’d gone to diner out together and again she show some sign of reconciliation. During that good communication, we’d talked honestly and she said that her willingness to giving me the property but on the bottom of her heart she doesn’t want to do it cause that will leading to move out and divorce and she said that her friends wanted us to reconcile and she imaging the happy times together we had with friends (I’d known and I’m surely those words are true).I’m now having to soften my None Contact Rules. As per instruction are:
1.Make sure you have a separate room. Make your own space and stay as much as possible in your own room.
2.Be a good roommate. You can talk about stuff related to household, but never about personal feelings. Not until the no contact period is over.
3.Don’t be a jerk and don’t put up with your ex if he/she is being a jerk. If they can’t handle being roommates with their ex, then it’s better for both of you to come up with a solution and live separately.I’ve no problem with number 1 Rule, for number 2 Rule I’ll talk to her softly but strictly not my own feelings yet I’ll listen to her feelings and her other stuffs. And for number 3 Rule I’ll have to set boundaries to be more clearly that we’re no longer partnership, we’re on our separate life.
I’d think this should be work fine.
Please give me your opinion about this.
Thanks.
John.Hi, I’ve got home after work,
Yes I’d love her dearly, she always in my mind, she gave me happiness from more than 10 years ago and then was on and off.
Now in lately, she’s still care about me, she gave me some thing that I didn’t ask for like my hair cut or she bought for me some clothing (we went shopping together and she paid for that, those were before the terrible night) and I’d the same to her.
Again the biggest thing bang my mind is “What does she want when she need time and playing around with some guys? Does this mean she wanted to keep me as a reserve?” And if reconciliation happen, will she keep playing around with guys like this?
I’m very confusing about this as well as should I need a light None Contact?
Please help me, I’m so confusing.
Thanks.
John.Also, before that terible night, we’re good to each other, shopping together, have meal together, even join to friend’s parties together, affectionate… just like before the brake. BUT SLEEP SEPARATE… Like 2 good friend in the same house. And I DON’T WANT THAT.
I mean I just want to be clear. Couple or Not Couple. And that’s the problem.Hey ghost,
Thanks for the comment.
One thing that I’ve to add on about her: She had MORE THAN 1 broken relationship before marriage me. Now is about third broken relationship to her. So she is VERY FEARFUL. She’d knew her age and and none relatives in this country, giving her no choice but to live with me.
If you read above. I found some sign of her having other guy (who on our back country) that I find out with FaceBook, and than we had a terible night…
But just before that happen, she’d had some signs of recociliation. (her son asked me buy him a com. mouse, she thinking about living in OUR HOUSE till death, and she one said that she need take time).
I’m now in 3rd day NC. I think this is for her time and space.But I wonder how long this would be???? it’s been 2 & haft months. And will it be FOREVER???
Thanks for help me.
JohnHi Radiantrisa,
It’s not the sixth sense. IT’S THE FEELING.
Woman are very sensitive and they’re using their FEELING to know what going on.
And I’ve found that their FEELINGS are fairly accurate, that’s why when they condemn us man, we’re shocking and they’d FIND OUT more, and that’s we call them “Woman had sixth sense”.
But if we’re stand still with in our self-power and honest, their FEELING and SIXTH SENSE will broke down.
I’d wish to read more comments about this Sixth Sense.
Thanks.02/12/14
Came home after diner out I’ve been in my room as I always do, then she knock my door to get help, her Internet online has a problem that she couldn’t get through, I’ve to try to help but out of luck so I’ve told her to go to their office to fix-up.
I do not want to see her or talk to her but I MUST that out of my willingness, and I did purely to fix the Internet online, then back to my room with out saying any thing else.
I don’t fell that I’ve broken None Contact Rules.
But I’ve to admit that she is always in my mind, I’d want to forget her. FORGET HER but my mind kept obsessing her. What can I do? should I take a hammer and beat my head my mind?
I WILL FORGET HER. As I’ve learn from my son: STRONG IS STRONG.
JohnLe01/12/14,
So far no one reply or comment, it’s sad.
Any-way I’m still writing even no one read, Thanks ExBack Permanently for this message board, that we can write on.
I’m starting NC and I’d believe it’ll be good for me, today I also thinking of quitting smoke and plain to start from next week. It’ll be very hard to quit smoke while in NC period, but I’m sure it’ll be fun to try myself, like some-one self torture, hihihihi it’s going to be fun and the calendar will past.
Also today she got home and cook diner and text me to eat while she gone into her room, which I didn’t answer (as usually I’d reply thank her), then later I went out for diner myself.
I’d know, NC is NC, None Contact is None Contact.
Thanks guys.
John.00:00 am update:
After got home, we did arrange the house for the NC. Then went to our room (each separate) I then send her a text express understand her heart is hurtful same with mine. It’s like her muscles pain when she worked so hard, but that’s good for a reason: it’s will be stronger for the future, and text that I would massage her hand or foot but I’d better let her be alone in peace and wish her sleep well.
Moment later she reply that her heart is not hurt but her heart is hurt (?????) cause she’s now know the man she wish that she’ll die for is not worthy and she would like not to think about.
I reply: I do understand that, relax and sleep well.
I’d guess I know how she feel. She’s had lots of emotions turmoil, and I’d plain a good NC for me as well as for her too.
Have you any idea? please help.
Thanks.
JohnHi, I’m update my situation,
Today after work she called me for diner out, I agree and went out with my mind prepared will be a hard talk. That’s right, she’s change her mind with a reason that she’s work so hard and surely that i’ll waste her 10 years hard earning. Plus blaming about my idea of reconcile together with rob her 10 years hard work.
I’ve explain that I need the property for the capital to do business and the business for our economy and happiness. Any way it’s the end with “NO”.
We’ve talk lots of things with all disagree in respectful each other, and concluded with the NC (her idea is she wanted to be herself peaceful in the same roof).Please help me, Can I do None Contact under same roof? and also does the period of NC should be exactly 30 days or can be 4 weeks (28 days)? I’d know it’s can be longer if we feel we need longer, but if we comfort will we go shorter?
Thanks for helping and comments.
John
