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I had broke up for 4months ago. I contacted her last month and chatted several days. firstly she wanted to be my friend olny but when I refused her 2,3 times then she told me she hated me for what I did with her. she even became rude with me and rarely reply me.she don’t want to block me but,also don’t want to talk to me or start relationship with me..so I started NC,this is my 4th day but she still looks cool and so angry with me. I am dying to think about my NC as it still 26days to go..I am so confussed, Is my NC can impact her a bit as she is so angry with me and hate me which I can’t explain you by words..she is so strong girl, if she decide to forget me then she do it at any cost…I really need advice what to do to get her back permanently. .
Rahul,
we are in a similar situation. Mine hates me for some hurtful things that I said to him during the break up fight. It hurts to be in NC but it hurts TWICE as much to see that they still hold on to that hate becuase we fear that hate could be used as a tool to diminish the love they may have leftover in their hearts for us.
Unfortunately, what is said in this article is right. It makes sense. Until they can get over the anger (hence the reason for NC) they cannot restart or even think about mending the relationship. Stay strong. If we break NC, then we REALLY don’t stand a chance. We have nothing to loose by doing the NC. Hang in there. I posted my story under the title “Help me stay strong!” if you’d like to read it. Sometimes knowing others battles helps to put our own in perspective.
I’m on day 6 of NC. I really have to stick with it as my ex is angry with me beyond belief. The only way that anger will go is if I disappear, so reality hits him and that he suddenly realises he misses me. We were together 8 years!
I’ve nothing to lose by doing NC but everything to lose if I contact him!Keep strong guys!
@Jeeno
it is very hard to complete my NC as today is my 4th day nd she already told me she’ll not come to me for love at any condition even if she is in love with me and yesterday night she shows me how much she hated me by going online in watsapp till 2a.m as she never used to be online till late night, only yesterday she came online for late night and changes her watsapp Dp or status as “you can hurt a heart, only till it loves you” & ” love unconditionally” what it really me by these 2 status. Is she hates me and want to go in a new relation. pleasa suggest me its really hard time for me…Is my NC helps me will she message me atleast once during NcSomething to remember that may help: there is a thin line between love and hate. It’s indifference that is worrisome. If your ex is angry and seems to hate you, that is just because they are hurt and maybe in the anger stage after the breakup. They are still feeling strong feelings for you. When they become indifferent to you is when they are moving on and no longer care.
Keep up with your NC. It’s healing time for you both.
@nell
when we had brokeup, after that she didn’t text me a single message by herself..and before NC she told me to not let me know about her feeling and love towards me at any point even she is in deep feeling…As we had broke up for 4,5months. . .her feelings toward me had lost and now she didn’t feels anything for me now. she want to talk to me normally as a friend. but I want more, it is confirmed that her all love was lost for me as time(approx 5 months) goes on. is there still chance to get her back with NC..advice me asap
today, her friend told me that she didn’t love me anymore. really she ignores me, lying or even disrespect me now what I have to do advice me please really need this
@Rahul
1. do not listen to her friend. Cause those are really some of her pretended, those are for making you hurt, just like if she’s angry she wanted to beat some one…
2. those ignores, lying, disrespect… are exactly the same some one beating up some one… when they’re very angry.
So, I’d believe you keep cool, let those going and they will be gone.
Good luck.@JohnLe
But she never lied to me, I understood her ignorance. if she hates me,ignore me,lie to me and even don’t want to talk to me and she messaged me I don’t want to talk to me ..then how long time will NC takes to reduce this all..Her birthday will be on 22 January. Is this possible we are together at that moment and celebrate it with love…Rahul,
I’d trust that she did never lied to you, but that’s in the past and nothing can prove us in the present. Right?
Further more, did she ever lied to any one of her friend? chance is: she only lied to that friend and that friend will carry a message for her.
In the very hurtful time of a human being, we tend to play game to get out of the hurtful, that’s every body on the world do, no exception.
and the basic tool yet very powerful to push away those play game is: JUST IGNORE THEM.
Hope you will get over and happy.@JohnLe
I am only afraid with her anger and with her words that she will never be more than friend and never come to me again..why this happened. is this because of what I did with her(lefted alone and begging) or something else reason . I really don’t understand what to do in this situation how to get her back. one thing I forgot to tell you is that I shifted to another city and now I used to go to her city once ot two time in a month…Lol…
now we’d see, you’re afraid her anger. Meaning you’re fearful or scary of her. That’s 100% no-confident of you.
why this happened? you can see it’s because you’re obsessed her, your mind always thinking about her, always thinking she’s rejected you.
But that’s all wrong. What you’d see are only HER ACT. Those are fakes.
Why? Because if she really MEAN, then why she wanted you to see or known those words or actions of her?
Then. What’s those words or actions MEANING?
They’re meaning to HURT YOU.
So, you’d better laughing and I’m congratulate you. She’s always thinking about you in her mind, she still loves you on the bottom of her heart.
And you’d better taking those hurtful words and actions of her as the best presents she’s giving to you.
Merry Xmas.first of all thank you Johnle for such a nice support. your words really decreases my pain
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but you didn’t understand my fear,I told you 1 by 1.1. she really hates me
2. she’s very much angry with me and don’t want to talk.
3.she never miss me a single moment even if she is online in any messenger
4.she don’t want to forget all the bad moments held in past.
5.she filled with all negativity about me…and get irritated with me.these are the main fear of my life…so after knowing these all what do you think…is she still feels my love towards her..will I get her one day. and advice me what to do at this stage
@rahul You are makung assumptions my friend. How do you know that she is talking to someone else just because she is online?
It could just be a trick to make you think that she is talking to another fella. Even if she is then yes it hurts but it’s only talking. I have learnt and even been told by my Ex that I shouldn’t just assume anything. That is one of the main things that upsets her about me.
If she is angry with you and you have recently had an argument with her then 30 days NC is the way to go. You will need to work on yourself to not expect that you will win her back after your NC finishes, but be able to remain her friend and leave the door open for her if she wants to take the opportunity to see more of you again.
Anger can be a good sign, but it will take work and time to allow her to work through her anger and focus on the positive things that you shared with eachother.
There’s no guarantees, but best of luck!
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