Emily

Update on my situation.

We have been in touch by text message every day since our first meet-up post break-up. We went on another date last Friday and it went really really well. We went for a meal and we had such good conversation and laugh that we barely touched our dinner. We then went for drinks and when I asked at what time her last train was leaving, oh well she invited herself back at my place in a cheeky way. So I defo got lucky that night 🙂 She was more confident, told me she had missed me all summer and had never shared that level of intimacy with anyone else. That was so nice to hear and I felt really emotional.

One thing though is that she annoyed me by text message last night. She had quite a bad day yesterday and so after having had drinks and dinner with a friend I sent her a text message that was meant to be kind and thoughtful. She replied to say “that was such a soppy text” and then asked me whether I had a nice evening. In hindsight my message was indeed a bit soppy. It’s a very petty thing but I felt offended anyway so cut the conversation short to say I needed to get some sleep. Am still not totally over it yet (which I know is ridiculous in the grand scheme of things). I don’t think she realised her words were unpleasant to read but decided to leave it. We have been in touch today and hopefully she will ask at some point to meet up this weekend. It’s funny how small things can have such a big impact on your mind.

But anyway, so far so good. Slow and steady is the motto.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your supportive messages over the weekend, they definitely helped me get over the anxiety.

The truth is, it went really really well. As planned we met up at the museum, she texted me to say she was sitting on a bench to the left of the main entrance stairs. I stood up, saw her on the bench and I just melted inside. I took a deep breath, walked to her and said hello. The visit of the museum was great, we had a funny time making jokes and comments on the paintings. At the end she asked if I fancied some drinks. I was delighted.

We started walking along the Thames until we found a nice place from which we ordered cocktails. We sat outside in the sun and carried on our funny catch-up conversation. I could see at times that she was a bit nervous. I was as well but not as much as I thought I would be. At some point it felt like we had to cut it to the chest and have a frank discussion on what our meet-up actually meant to each other. I know you are not supposed to do that on the first meet up after the breakup but I was feeling like this had to be done but that it would have to be her call. So I made a joke to make her understand I would not start the “serious” talk. I said “I have something very important to tell you”. She obviously sat back on her chair looking slightly apprehensive. Then I said “I have just spotted white hair on your head, you are getting old for a young lady”.

The joke relaxed the atmosphere a bit more and 10 minutes later she completely opened up to me. She said how nice it was to see me, apologised for running away and hurting me. She admitted she did not go to our mutual friend’s party back in July because she was too scared of bumping into me. She also said all summer I was never far off her mind and that she was very close to texting me so many times but never did because she was scared of me thinking she was messing me around. Long story short we were both mentally and psychologically aching from the break-up but each in our corner.

She sounded more confident as she has now told almost all her friends and thinks her parents might be ok. But I knew this was a big effort on her part anyway so I stepped in from to time to apologise for unintentionally putting pressure on her (scaring her away in the process) and reassure her at the same time I was never mad at her and never thought for a second she was using me or messing me around.

And then she said she really liked me, that we had chemistry and that we knew each other without totally knowing each other yet. That made so much sense to me as this is what my guts had been telling me over the past 3 months. She said she wanted to give it a shot and that we should go on another couple of dates and see what happens (so yesterday’s meet-up was a date in her mind). Needless to say that I agreed. She promised to communicate her feelings better and in return I told her I would be more patient and as fast as a snail 🙂

After that we walked along the Thames hand in hand. I was so warm inside that I could not feel the cold London wind blowing in my face. We stopped to watch the boats on the river as the sun was setting. I took her in my arms and gave her some gentle kisses. She said she had missed them all summer. We then parted at the underground station and made our way back home. I trust we will see each other very soon, hopefully this Friday 🙂

A new journey has begun – I need to make sure I won’t rush it this time around.

You are right, I probably need to meditate, I usually am a stress ball.

So we have been exchanging a few messages and I managed to find out she did not really have anything planned on Sunday so I sent the following message:

“On Sunday think I will go to [x], have two passes for the [y] exhibition, you could use the second one if you fancy a bit of painting.”

She replied: “[x] sounds great if you don’t mind? Was going to ask if you fancied meeting up.”.

Now I am ecstatic but I need to calm down and remember that the fact she wanted to ask me to meet up does NOT mean (i) that this is a date and (ii) that she wants to get back with me.