Should I contact her now?

Hi Ed,

Well, I did not hear from her yesterday, which is ok as she said she would be working late so I am pretty sure she went straight to bed when she came back home. That being said, it felt hard not to be in touch after 4 days of almost non-stop communication throughout the day (on Sunday) or at night (the following days). So I am a bit low today, it feels like I did not get my fix!

So I won’t contact her today either. I am wondering whether to do so on Saturday late morning/early afternoon or wait until Sunday night to ask her what she would have been up to during the weekend. The latter offers the advantage of playing it cool and casual. I think it implicitly sends the following message: “We have had a tremendous amount of communication recently and we have both enjoyed it a lot however we have our own lives/plans/activities. But now I am interested in knowing how your weekend was”.

I mean, she is a smart girl, she must be wondering what my real intentions are. Maybe she is “taking the temperature” of the situation as we say in French. Or maybe I am overanalysing…again…(hard for a woman not to :-)) But if anything the fact I have waited for 3 months before contacting her shows that I am willing to be patient with her. The amount of communication defo shows we have a strong bond as well. Feels hard to be patient after so many enjoyable conversations!

Emily.

I have replied and will see how it goes today but I am starting wondering who is chasing who.. After all she has initiated contact twice in 4 days.. OK, need to calm down, excitement getting too high again!

You are right, I probably need to meditate, I usually am a stress ball.

So we have been exchanging a few messages and I managed to find out she did not really have anything planned on Sunday so I sent the following message:

“On Sunday think I will go to [x], have two passes for the [y] exhibition, you could use the second one if you fancy a bit of painting.”

She replied: “[x] sounds great if you don’t mind? Was going to ask if you fancied meeting up.”.

Now I am ecstatic but I need to calm down and remember that the fact she wanted to ask me to meet up does NOT mean (i) that this is a date and (ii) that she wants to get back with me.

Thank you guys for your support! Special thanks Laurais13 for your very kind words, it went straight to my heart. I guess I will find out tomorrow if my patience and determination will be rewarded. Either way, seeing her big smile and hazelnut eyes will make my day!

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your supportive messages over the weekend, they definitely helped me get over the anxiety.

The truth is, it went really really well. As planned we met up at the museum, she texted me to say she was sitting on a bench to the left of the main entrance stairs. I stood up, saw her on the bench and I just melted inside. I took a deep breath, walked to her and said hello. The visit of the museum was great, we had a funny time making jokes and comments on the paintings. At the end she asked if I fancied some drinks. I was delighted.

We started walking along the Thames until we found a nice place from which we ordered cocktails. We sat outside in the sun and carried on our funny catch-up conversation. I could see at times that she was a bit nervous. I was as well but not as much as I thought I would be. At some point it felt like we had to cut it to the chest and have a frank discussion on what our meet-up actually meant to each other. I know you are not supposed to do that on the first meet up after the breakup but I was feeling like this had to be done but that it would have to be her call. So I made a joke to make her understand I would not start the “serious” talk. I said “I have something very important to tell you”. She obviously sat back on her chair looking slightly apprehensive. Then I said “I have just spotted white hair on your head, you are getting old for a young lady”.

The joke relaxed the atmosphere a bit more and 10 minutes later she completely opened up to me. She said how nice it was to see me, apologised for running away and hurting me. She admitted she did not go to our mutual friend’s party back in July because she was too scared of bumping into me. She also said all summer I was never far off her mind and that she was very close to texting me so many times but never did because she was scared of me thinking she was messing me around. Long story short we were both mentally and psychologically aching from the break-up but each in our corner.

She sounded more confident as she has now told almost all her friends and thinks her parents might be ok. But I knew this was a big effort on her part anyway so I stepped in from to time to apologise for unintentionally putting pressure on her (scaring her away in the process) and reassure her at the same time I was never mad at her and never thought for a second she was using me or messing me around.

And then she said she really liked me, that we had chemistry and that we knew each other without totally knowing each other yet. That made so much sense to me as this is what my guts had been telling me over the past 3 months. She said she wanted to give it a shot and that we should go on another couple of dates and see what happens (so yesterday’s meet-up was a date in her mind). Needless to say that I agreed. She promised to communicate her feelings better and in return I told her I would be more patient and as fast as a snail 🙂

After that we walked along the Thames hand in hand. I was so warm inside that I could not feel the cold London wind blowing in my face. We stopped to watch the boats on the river as the sun was setting. I took her in my arms and gave her some gentle kisses. She said she had missed them all summer. We then parted at the underground station and made our way back home. I trust we will see each other very soon, hopefully this Friday 🙂

A new journey has begun – I need to make sure I won’t rush it this time around.