Should I contact her now?

Thought I would post an update as I contacted her yesterday morning.

So I basically responded to the last message she sent me a week ago and she INSTANTLY replied. We then exchanged no less than 80-90 text messages throughout the day, every 5-10 minutes on average. We talked about everything and nothing, caught up on what we had been doing in the summer, made loads of jokes (I burst out laughing once or twice when reading her replies). I managed to subtly remind her of a place I took her out on a date and she said she loved it. At some point she made a comment on a French expression I taught her and said she had used it recently in her classroom, which I thought was very sweet.

No subtext, no real banter this time but the conversation flow is amazing. I did not suggest to meet up because the opportunity did not arise during the convo and at this point I think it’s best to stick to fun and sweet texting. Her guard is down but remember, she is a very slow-burner and broke up with me because she was struggling with her orientation (probably still is) and I unintentionally put pressure on her. Ideally I would like her to feel comfortable enough to suggest to meet up so that she thinks it’s her idea, not mine. That being said, I will give it another week or two and if she does not say anything then I will take a chance.

Told her I was going to a wedding last night, she sent the last joke but I did not see her message until very late because I was already busy dancing. Hopefully she will initiate contact with me today to ask me about the wedding but. Alternatively I can reply to her joke later on today but it’s only been one day since we last texted and I want to avoid getting over-excited!

Long story short I think things are going well. Still too early to figure out whether anything beyond friendship is possible but at the same time, would you send 40-50 text messages in one day to someone you only see as a friend??

Thanks Ed for your support! Glad to read I put a smile on your face!

A friend played the devil’s advocate yesterday and said “50 silly messages don’t mean a thing”. I can see why she did it – to warn me not to keep my hopes too high at this stage because nothing concrete has happened and she has not given me any signs we would date again in the near future. Which is true.

Last night I contacted her again and we had a nice text convo – not as fluid and funny as on Sunday but we kept replying to each other’s messages until we wished each other good night. The thought of most probably being the last person she talked to before going to sleep is a nice one.

Since I have initiated contact over the past two days (but in each case by replying to a text message she had sent previously) I will try not to contact her until she does – hopefully this weekend!

Exactly, would not send 50 messages per day even to my best friend. Last night was another c. 25 messages each over the course of 5 hours. What do you mean by “she may be a slow burner but I would start to wonder after a week”? Do you mean she is not that slow after all?

Yep it does make sense. However she knows I am very busy these days and have to work long hours. And I really would like her to make the effort to initiate contact otherwise I will feel like I am being pushy again.

So she contacted me last night by text message and asked me a question about a comment her students had made. That put a smile on my face. We had a text convo until 11pm – again about 100 (mostly short and funny) messages. She was very funny as usual and she teased me a lot (with no subtext, that’s not her style), to the point I found it difficult to refrain from being flirtatious.

Now my hopes are getting higher, and even though there is no subtext and it’s all banter and fun, I hope she knows what she is doing as the level and amount of communication are pretty much the same as when we were dating. Anyway, since we have been in touch every day over the past 3 days and she reached out yesterday I will contact her tonight – I already have a text message in mind. I will try to figure out in a subtle way what she is up to this weekend and see if I feel like popping the “shall we have drinks on Sunday?” question.

Thank you! I have a question. I have two passes to go and see an exhibition. Is it ok to subtly ask her to go and see it together or should I stick to casual drinks for the first meet-up?

In the conversation it be something along the lines of:
– Her: what are you up to this weekend?
– Me: Doing [x] on Friday, [y] on Saturday, nothing planned on Sunday so far. Actually, might go and see an exhibition at [z], have two passes.
And then go on etc.

Oh no worries, thanks for your reply!

Well have contacted her, there has been a couple of messages exchanged. She said she was watching a TV programme she likes a lot so I said, ok I will let you enjoy. She replied to say she would text me afterwards but she has not and its getting late…

Maybe the amount of communication is too much for her to handle right now so if she does not reply tonight I will hold off for at least a couple of days.

Have a nice evening. Hope your sleep will get even better tonight!