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Hi Ed,
Well.. human nature is a strange thing! The communication with her brother and the fact she positively responded to your letter are definitely good signs, which is why you have (rightfully!) built up some expectations and hopes.
The words she used are another good sign. Think about it, she has been with that guy for a short period of time (2 months?) and she is already wondering what the hell is going on. If that guy is really back on the coke or even assuming he is only smoking pot, in her eyes your “grown-up” letter must have come as a stark contrast to that guy’s behaviour. You scored a big point there.
You are more than welcome by the way 🙂
Emily.
Hi Emily,
I purposely didn’t message her yesterday despite her invitation all though I was very tempted to.
I have been thinking about possibly sending her a message later today, just something casual like” Hi, not sure if your aware but the weather is going to get really bad this weekend, you might want to rug up the horses tonight as its going to be wet and cold”
and then leaving the ball in her court, I know she would appreciate the heads up but if she’s going to be with him as it is a Friday night I guess I wont get much back.
It’s really hard to make the right call, I guess I’m where you were a few hours ago.Ed
Hi Ed,
I think you can go ahead and send her that message, it’s very thoughtful and non-pushy. Maybe send it early afternoon or something, if you send it at night it might look like you have nothing planned tonight and are just waiting for her reply.
Good on you to have resisted the urges yesterday!
Emily.
Hey. I don’t think you should send that letter. I think you should focus on yourself for a few months and then contact her. Trust me, all the pain and mistakes will fade with time, and that doesn’t have to do with love, that will happen anyways. You guys were in a serious relationship and even if she is in another relationship, 7 years is too much to let go like that. But your issues were the cause and you should get yourself healed first, you wanna be in your best version when you contact her again. You are not a bad person. Don’t stalk her or her new bf, try to forget their lives focus on yours. It’s been a month but you guys had a long relationship, so in my opinion a month is not enough. Be happy and try dating someone else, not to forget her but to distract your mind and focus more on yourself. I wish you the best luck!!!
Hey Laurais13,
I think you might be a bit behind on a few posts, the letter was sent 5 days ago and I’ve already had a promising reply, I haven’t been stalking either of them but have had news from her family and mutual friends that the new bf is into drugs and its not going well.
I appreciate your kind words and point of view.Sorry for that response again and I think you are on a great path. Just act cool she is coming to you and the right moment will come. I’m glad that the letter worked. Did you text her that message?
No Problem, its early days yet so I’m trying to keep my head. I sent the message about 20 mins ago but she will be at work at the moment so I’m not expecting anything for a while at least.
I will have a look at you post shortly.Yes I think you are on the right path but if she doesn’t answer you back don’t let your brain act out because of the rejection try to keep calm and breathe and just wait patiently. Let me know when she answers you or if she doesn’t.
So I got a reply,saying thank you and that she’ll be free for a chat anytime this weekend if I want.
I replied, “Ok, I’ve got one or two things on but will give you a call at some point.”
I hope it didnt sound to cold but I don’t want her to think I’ll come running.
but she did say “Ok speak soon then :-)”
UPDATE
Just as I was typing this post she has texted again telling me about a degree course she has started. I’m trying not to get my hopes up at the sudden change in circumstance.Thats a good thing, but dont get your hopes up, cause hopes aren’t healthy after rejection, but ok be cool and ask about the degree nothing too personal try to keep a shallow conversation and end it. Don’t make it a all day conversation. And as you said call or text her on Sunday morning, not too early but Sunday morning are free for most of the people so you might get a good shot. I’m happy for you
This is all very good! I don’t think you were cold. I find your message quite smart actually, as you made her understand you have plans (to look forward to) whilst confirming you will be in touch with her. Have you replied to her message about the degree? Of you have not already, you could say it’s exciting news and then say you have to do something to keep letting her know in a subtle way things that you have plans. The degree thing is a good topic for your phone call.
Another good thing is that she sent you two messages in a row and wanted you to know about what’s new is her life.
Take a deep breath and you will be fine for the call this weekend. Keeping our fingers crossed for each other 😉
Thanks guys,I have replied and we’ve had about 15 or so texts back and forth throughout the evening, nothing heavy just talking about work and the like. I guess the conversation will be the real test, also I’m not sure where she’s at with this bloke and don’t really want to ask but I guess I will have to as I don’t want to start a friendship while she is with him and she gets the best of both worlds.
Yes you have to definitely ask at some point, but wait out a little, dont do it right away.
Hi Ed,
Pretty much agree with Laurais13, avoid asking any questions about that guy on the first call. If she talks about him be cool as much a you can and don’t let her know all the details you know about him/them through her brother and your mutual friends.
Will keep my fingers crossed for you tomorrow!
Emily.
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