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As expected, I received an unsolicited “I hope you and you family have a Merry Christmas :)” text yesterday
Thanks! It’s been rough but I think things are finally better. I do think that this feeling of her missing me as a friend or whatever is actually her missing me and our relationship. But her current relationship is making it hard for her to acknowledge that the feeling is romantic and not platonic.
I’ll stick to NC since it’s helping me a lot and see what happens.
No! thank you! I was hoping for some analysis.
Idk if it was meant to reach my ears or what. I also don’t know definitively how her new relationship is going. Only speculation.
Idk I think I’m gonna keep on doing my own thing. I’ve gotten a lot better lately about being “okay with being single.” I’m definitely over the hump of moving on.
I fear initiating contact (even a Merry Christmas text) could have the effect of comforting her and prolonging her realization that the rebound isn’t going to work.
So update…My bestfriend Austin (who is also a friend of my ex) had a convo with her about me and our relationship. It’s as follows:
“I just wish I could go back and fix the part where I had to lose him as a friend. I understand that it’s really hard for him to stay friends with me. I feel like an awful person, and the guilt of everything is finally hitting me full force. He’s right. I gave up on him Austin, but I had a feeling that he wasn’t the one for me…[MY NAME] must feel like the 1 plus years I was with him meant nothing to me. It meant everything to me Austin. He was my first everything. Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did, but I don’t think he knows that. I think he just thinks I’m this cold heartless bitch that wanted to destroy him. I know I have no right whatsoever to say this, but I miss him. No one can ever take the place of your first love. No one. I wish I could tell him that, but he wouldn’t believe me.”
I know. I really need to be working on myself for myself and nothing more. Since it’s finals season, that’s a lot easier. Ha ha.
Also just some more information to add to my story ( I think I forgot to include this), during the fight a few weeks ago she told me that she was actually seeing someone new and was super happy. “Happier than when we were together” she said. This is completely unlile her and our relationship and the way it ended definitely wouldn’t indicate a reason to be nasty like that.
This was immediately followed by her Instagram being made public and her posting A few pics of her at a football game with her new boyfriend.
So my conclusion from this that is that she’s trying to rub my nose in her new relationship. Which, to me, only further substantiates the rebound theory
Oh sure! I know the text is not a tactic to exude confidence. I guess in improving myself for my sake, I’m also trying to figure out how or if I even should try to do anything. Or just pull back and do nothing. Let her start any mending of a relationship
Yeah I’m trying not to overthink it too much. Initially I took it as a sign that she was finally over me and moved on but you’re probably right.
As for confidence, I definitely am noticing improvements in my confidence and overall “individuality.” That is, I’m getting back into the normal flow of single life. I just don’t really know hos best to convey this new sense of “attractive confidence” via text. (As a reminder, she’s in Florida…I’m in Virginia)
I’ve been doing alright since the fight. Been 3-4 weeks now and I’m feeling better alone. Like I’vemade progress as far as getting used to being happy and whole in myself.
But I haven’t heard anything from her. I was hoping that since she reached out earlier and apologized, that she was running into doubts w/ her rebound
Also another note: She finally deleted our pics off her facebook just this past week
No think…why would she tell you unsolicited that there’s someone she’s interested in. She wants a reaction out of you. Remember the plan…play it cool and don’t give her the satisfaction. Rebounds hardly last.
That’s what I was thinking. If I was going to text her at all, I was going to make sure that it’s very short and not emotional at all. I think I might just not reply so as to maintain all of the benefits of NC for both me and her
Progress! She just texted me this out of the blue after 9 days of NC after the argument. Now the question is do I reply or follow Kevin’s advice and ignore this to drive her a little crazy?
“Hey xxxxxx. I know we didn’t end on good terms the other day, and I’m not asking you to forgive me, but I’m really sorry for the way I acted. It was uncalled for. I just felt like you wanted a reason to hate me, and I didn’t know how to respond anymore. I was such a bitch and I’m really really sorry. You don’t have to respond to this, and I know you probably wont, but I just needed to say that. You didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you, and it’s hard for me to imagine not talking to you ever again. You were such a big part of my life. I know I’m a shitty person, and I can’t ask you to stay in my life, or be my friend after everything that’s happened, but I’ll always be here for you. I hope you had a good thanksgiving with your family.”
Hey Louis. You seem to have some really good insight and to provide some great advice. Care to chime in here? 🙂 https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/rebound-3/page/3/#post-70796
Yeah i know. I guess when I said “she has to initiate it” I meant that she has to be the one to decide to come back. Nothing I explicitly do or so can convince her. I just have to work on myself now.
