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Do you guys think its ok to text my ex tomorrow to confirm we are on for saturday and ask him about a time and place?
i agree. i think it was in combination of us nothing moving to a new city and the stress of him starting work and me graduate school and we had been in somewhat of a routine. i just wish he would have spoken to me about ways to make it more interesting. anyway nervous but anxious to hear what he’ll have to say about what he’s been thinking the past two months. i saw him about 6 weeks ago when he came to my apartment to get his things and he was crying and saying he loves me and feels so natural but he isn’t ready to commit to being in a relationship with me right now because he knows i deserve more effort than he is capable of right now.
i agree! this has caused so much stress for me! i think about it constantly no matter what he’s doing and always wonder what he’s thinking or if he misses me 🙁to be honest, I’m really not sure what caused the spark to die out. i wasn’t feeling that way at all. we had been in a long distance relationship for the past 4 years and have just moved to the same city so I’m thinking maybe spending a lot more time together and because we’ve been dating for so long it just happened. he just started a new job with very demanding hours and said he was feeling a lot of pressure from everything. he was very vague with me and just said basically he was “falling out of love” and it started to scare him and he wasn’t sure if taking time apart would bring us closer together and strengthen our relationship because he wasn’t appreciating me the way he used to. we took two brief “breaks” in the past but they never lasted more than a month and we never really have gone this much time without talking, so this time definitely feels more real to me.
do you think i have a chance?? if so, how long do you think it will take him to want to give us another chance?
its so nice to talk to someone else going through this situation! our break up was not a messy one. we weren’t really fighting before, but he just started acting more distant and for a few weeks told me he was just stressed but then finally admitted he wanted to break up. as of right now neither of us are dating anyone else. that wasn’t a reason for the break up. unfortunately i think the only thing to show how this will work out is allowing more time to pass. i try to focus on school (i am in the first semester of my masters program) and spend time with friends and family. i spend a lot of time in the mornings and at night crying but of course have my good days and bad days. i go to the gym often and that helps as does talking to other people on this forum! i think i am going to meet up with him saturday and catch up and try to be casual and hear him out on what he has to say. depending on how that meeting goes i will decide whether or not going NC is the right decision for me. we have done it but the longest i have made it is two weeks as well. anyway thank you for the support!
sounds like we were in a similar situation! any advice for how to get through this? i just feel sad all the time 🙁 we are in very limited contact. maybe 1 or 2 texts once every 3 weeks. it is killing me 🙁 i just want our relationship back. he never initiates conversations but always responds when i initiate and when i asked him what he wanted two weeks ago he said i don’t want to lose contact and want to slowly start talking but he doesnt initiate and idk what that means. i really don’t know how to act in this situation
thanks for replying. he told me he needs space and time because we started dating when he was 16 and i was 15 and we are now 22 and 23. he said without having other relationships and experiences we would always wonder if we did the right thing always staying together. he also told me he loves me and hopes in the long run we can end up back together but he thought the spark and passion was gone from the relationship and breaking up might restore it. i have no idea what he’s thinking or the real reason. i think he is very confused.
i agree. you could send her a short text just saying it was nice to see her and she looked great, but keep it short. i was NC with my ex boyfriend for about 10 days. then i cracked and asked him to come over to get his stuff. when he came over he was crying, telling me he loves me and loves being with me and it feels so natural. but when he left i never heard from him. i texted him the next day probably coming on a little too strong and he responded and just said he knows he loves me and loves being with me but doesn’t feel ready to be back in a relationship with me. this conversation dragged out for a few days and i am not back to square 1..day 2 of NC today. just be careful about moving things along too quickly! i am a really impatient person so sticking to NC for 30 days seems almost impossible to me right now
i think you should text him 🙂 i think texting on an occasion such as a birthday is an appropriate day to reach out without looking desperate to talk. maybe it will remind him he misses you, or maybe it won’t. but you’ll be able to know by whether or not he responds and maybe that will give you some peace of mind. good luck!
