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thinks for the reply 🙁 @tami420. how long do you think it will take him to realize what he is missing? he seems very sure of needing some real significant time apart..
i was wondereng if any of you can give me some advice on how to proceed. my boyfriend and i broke up 2.5 months ago. we had dated for 7 years. I’m 22 and he’s 23 so we met when we were really young which is why he broke up with me. he said we can’t know for sure if each other is “the one” unless we explore what else is out there and he wants to be 100% confident and sure its right. we have been in LC always initiated by me but he does always respond. i saw him this weekend for brunch and he told me he isn’t ready to resume our relationship because he feels its too soon and the reason for our break up was to explore other options and we haven’t given ourselves enough time. he told me he does one day and eventually want to recreate our relationship, but he isn’t ready now and doesnt want a relationship with anyone else. he just wants to be single for now. when i asked him when he thought he would be ready he said its impossible to say if it will be months, years etc. but his gut is telling him in some months. he still wants to talk occasionally and hang out and catch up until he feels ready but i think its too hard for me 🙁 should try NC? for how long? its hard for me to move on knowing he said he wants to recreate this one day but it could be years for now and i can’t wait around either. i love him so much. what do you guys think?
good for you for being strong 🙂 my ex kept saying he didn’t want to lose contact and wanted to talk occasionally and see each other every few weeks so i was doing that for a while but i kept finding it hard so i think i should try NC and maybe he will realize i am serious about moving on. today willb e day 1 if i can stick to it..wish me luck
i hope so! i really want him to miss me and want me back. how many NC periods have you completed/for how long? what happened when they were over?
me too. i think my ex has always known in the back of his head he would need this time, so i hope if he really takes the time to explore other options and be away from me he can come back into the relationship with a lot more confidence.
do you think NC will make him miss me? i asked him not to reach out so I’m a little nervous hell forget about me and it will help him move on too
im in a very similar spot. people tell me if i meet someone else it will help me move on but i have left all my past dates feeling empty and sad about them not being my ex..
i guess its really just a day at a time process
i hope i can make it through 30 days…even if i can i still don’t think it will be enough time for him. i wish i knew how long he would need to be “ready”you seem like you’re in such good control of this situation! I’m jealous. have you been trying to date/meet other girls? and i think my ex is under the same impression that ill always be around, but so far i haven’t stuck to NC more than like 10 days so maybe i should start with 30 and see how it goes. he did say “gut” tells him a couple more months though he can’t be sure so maybe we will just have to keep reassessing. i just hate that i can’t stop thinking about him and if/when he will be ready
any advice for how to stick to NC? i also asked him not to contact me so i doubt he will. i will try to wait the 30 days and then reach out to catch up? what made you decide to stick to 90 days?
I agree. i almost feel like my ex feels like he knows he want to end up with me so why should he spend his time committed now when he’s still young? its very frustrating. i did text him back earlier and ask him how long he envisions this lasting before he feels ready to give our relationship. i said i know its hard to quantify but do you envision us being apart for years or for months? and his response was that its impossible to say but his gut is telling him a few months. his last text to me was that he sees and understands how i feel and if i decide i do want to see him again he would like that but understands if i need to not.
do you advise i do NC? i feel torn. part of me wants to move on, but part of me feels like he’s really the one and he left me with some false hope by saying a few months…im not sure. I’m not sure if i should text him with some friendly conversations randomly or go strict NC. if i go strict NC, for how long? what do you think?
when did you guys break up? thats the hardest part for me. i want to say lets evaluate again in 6 months or something. a year sounds so long and scary. but this kind of thing is impossible to put a timeline on. its annoying with my ex because he keeps telling me he doesnt want to be in a relationship at all that it has nothing to do with his feelings for me. he says he really thinks we may end up married one day but in order for him to be confident in committing to me he needs to “explore what life has to offer” without always being trapped in our relationship. what do you think my steps should be from here?
do you know when you plan on contacting your ex/how you will proceed?i am so sorry 🙁 have you responded to any texts? I didn’t sleep at all last night either. we are totally in the same position. now i feel he has left me with false hope as well..i really think I’m going to follow in your footsteps and try to go NC for 90 days and see if he feels more “ready” then. I’m not sure he’ll ever feel ready until he really feels me trying to move on..im not sure what the future will bring but I’m glad we are in this together 🙂 good luck on your first day!!
update: just received very long text from my ex. essentially he apologized for not being clearer. he said one day he really would like to get back together and recreate our relationship but he still feels its too soon (its been 10 weeks) and if we jumped back now then the break we took would have been meaningless. he understands if i need to move on but he eventually does wanna make it work together but for right now he needs more time. any suggestions for how to respond?
ugh well at least your ex still texts you 🙁 mine doesnt reach out at all. i woke up today feeling so sick about this. I’m not sure if i should just delete him off of everything not reach out to him again or if i should really try to call him/talk to him more about how to improve things. i feel so lost 🙁
