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I mean he’s just being honest when he says he can’t, love is a powerful word. “I love you” is a big step for some couples, it isn’t for other people. It means different things to other people. I think it’s okay that he says he doesn’t love you. It can be rebuilt. Give it some time. It will happen again. Don’t get caught up on day to day things, focus on the big picture. Are you having a good time with him? Is he making you happy? Are you making him happier? That’s what’s important in my opinion, not three little words that I feel are often said way before people actually mean it.
It doesn’t really matter why. Keep working on things with him, he’ll say it again someday. Don’t worry about it now. Have fun with him
Nah, don’t worry about it, as long as it actually was an accident. Don’t worry about it. I think if your ex asks about it you could send her something quick like a “yeah sorry butt dial” but keep it to that. I wouldn’t count it. Keep up the self improvement 🙂 hope things work out for you
What do you mean when you say it’s a good sign? Why does it mean she still has feelings and doesn’t know how to process them? Couldn’t she just be ignoring me deliberately because she doesn’t want to talk to me?
Unfortunately I don’t really have any of her stuff to try to give back. Pretty much gave all that stuff back to her when I moved out :/. I think she might have some of my stuff still but I feel kinda weird asking for it. There’s also a check that I need her to sign because it’s our apartment deposit. Not sure how I’m going to deal with that.
I just don’t think she’s going to talk to me. I feel like she doesn’t want to give me any false hope or something. Even though I would love some more hope right now :/
It’s going to be okay, you just need to remain vigilant. You’ve gotten this far with him. Things are going well. I mean there’s a chance that that could happen, but worrying about it isn’t going to help anything. If you are really worried maybe think about getting a counselor. I’ve been going to one for like 2 months now and it really helps. Helps me at least, I never thought I’d get to a place in my life where I needed to see one but I was not doing well a few months ago and getting advice from them about relationships and venting my thoughts has really helped. Just my two cents
I don’t know if I want to wait that long, that’s really scary. Maybe it’s my only option though. I just don’t think she’s ever going to try to talk to me. She has never really tried to talk to me about much. Maybe she just needs more time but it’s really frustrating. I don’t really know what to do. I just wish she’d talk to me :/, it’s been really long since she broke up with me. But she said she wasn’t in the best place mentally so wasn’t ready to be friends with me yet and I’m worried that by coming on too strong I’ve scared her off again
I sent her a YouTube video from a guy we used to watch a lot, she really liked his videos. I sent it via Facebook with some “hey check this out” stuff. She saw it pretty quickly because Facebook has that “seen” thing but she didn’t respond. I don’t know what to do, maybe I should just not even bother anymore
Yeah make sure you slways remember that. It’s very important if you want your relationship to work. Take things slow, very slow, im sure if you take it slow you can get him to commit to you.
I’m glad things seem to be working out for you, I don’t think it’s going to work out for me. She hasn’t said anything to me in like two weeks. I don’t know what to do. She said she wanted to be friends with me a bit ago but each time I try to talk to her I feel like it pushes her further away and she doesn’t respond. And the longer I take the less likely I feel like she’ll want to get back with me. She’ll just want to go be with this other guy instead
See, I told you :). I told you you should trust me :P. I’m so happy for you. Patience is key. Aren’t you excited? When he says he is angry with you it means there is some emotions there at least. Anger means there is something there for you. Its not necessarily a good thing but at least its something. You take it slowly by taking things slowly. Be patient. It took you a long time to get to this point. Remember all the work you did to get to this point? Let that fuel you. Be careful especially early on. I would say early on, just focus on having a good time with him. Don’t have heart to heart conversations all the time. Have fun :). It should be like you just started dating for the first time. Trust isn’t something that is suddenly there. It is built up slowly over time from both ends and can easily crumble. Its easy to crumble it. I ruined a 2 year relationship because I violated her trust. At least it feels that way. You should know going forward. Do not break up with him on a whim. You can’t do that anymore. I’m sure you already know that. Not saying you couldn’t break up with him in the future if it comes to it but you need to be sure. At some point you can talk about some of the things you can do to help trust each other. There are plenty of things you can do to increase trust but mostly it just takes time.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I thought he was going to warm up to you. It looks like he kinda wants too honestly but something is holding him back. Probably the lack of trust he has spoken of. Way I see it you have a few options. Honestly I have no clue what to do or what I would do.
1. You could try to talk this out with him via text, get him to go into why he still feels angry and scared. I don’t think its going to change things but it might give you some more insight.
2. You could try to go over to his place, this is what we Americans call a “Hail Mary”. And try to talk things out with him then. There is huuuuge risk to this and I don’t think I’d advise it, but there is a chance, not a very good one, that it could work. It could also totally backfire and pretty much ruin any future chances because it might really upset him if you went over there and tried to talk to him.
3. You could step back from this and not even respond to the text and try to get him to miss you again. Basically start up no contact for a bit and see if he reaches out after a while.
4.You could send him something non desperate back via text, something like “I understand, I’m always here if you want to talk but I have to do what’s best for me. And that is try to move past this whole thing.”
5. You could ignore him and not respond and try to find somebody else.
I’m so sorry he said that. Its going to be okay. You deserve to be with somebody who wants to be with you.
Ahh perfect. Well is there a close friend or family member you could call or talk to for a bit? Maybe you could head to the grocery store or something. Maybe it would just be good to get out of your apartment/house for a bit
No I don’t, I don’t know what he’s going to say. I believe he’s going to give you a second chance. That doesn’t mean he is, but thats how I feel. Is there a close friend or family member you could call or vent to for a bit? I think you should try to find some way to calm down. I still suggest you go for a run or walk or go to the gym or something. I think it would really help. Idk what the weather is like around you.
I know, I get how you feel. Lots of doing this is frustrating. Its a harder path than just moving on from somebody else in my mind. You never know. You might get back to that point with him one day.
Trust me, he’s not going to tell you its over for good. You should stop thinking about it. You are driving yourself crazy. You did all you could and feeling powerless hurts right now. But that feeling of powerlessness is only temporary. You’ve done a lot over this period to get your life sorted out. I know its frustrating when your ex doesn’t seem to be doing the same. I’m in the same sort of boat. I haven’t talked to a lot of my old work friends because she hangs out on our old work chat and it hurts me to be on there. Its so frustrating.
My suggestion is go work off that frustration. You like to run or do any sort of cardio? I want to help you, you can get through this, I believe in you. What are you going to do to get your mind off things. You should start thinking forward rather than back. What am I going to do for the rest of the day to get my mind off things?
Make sense? What you going to do to keep your mind off him?
Either way don’t send him anything :P.You should try to stop thinking about it and worrying about it. personally, I think you should go, put your phone away for a bit, and go to the gym or go exercise somewhere and try to get your mind off things. I know you are thinking about this a lot and its a big deal but thinking about it constantly is going to drive you crazy. I do the same thing. I know how it feels. Put your phone away for a bit and go hang with friends or family or go to the gym. Can you do something like that? Try to get your mind off it for a bit. You are making yourself crazy my friend.
No, absolutely not. Don’t talk to him. He said to give him until Christmas to think about it. Give him that time. He asked for it. Be Patient. See if he responds before then, I don’t think anything you can say is going to really help steer him towards you right now. I know it hurts but just wait. Go find something to distract yourself with for a bit. You’ve only got a few days left. Think about it this way. You only have to wait like 3 more days for the potential to be with him for the rest of your life. Make sense?
