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I think it’s okay to step back and let him think about some of the things you said. I say just leave him be for a bit, he said he’d get back to you which is great. I think you’ve done what you needed to do. You’ve put all your cards out on the table for now. Take it easy for a few days and be happy, I know he’ll be thinking about you a lot.
Hello,
I would absolutely not say it’s over for good, it’s actually great you sat down and talked about some things. From what I have read here I think things look pretty good for you two. I don’t know exactly what he means with that text message honestly because I don’t know your situation that well.
I would say the fact that he was willing to sit down and talk with you about things is great. He also said he would think about things. At this point I think I would just leave him alone for a bit and let him think about things. Maybe you could send him one text saying it was nice to see him and that you are always there if he wants to talk or needs something in the conversation Reiterated to him.
He said he’d get back to you before Christmas which is great, I wouldn’t really pressure him into anything before then. I wouldn’t initiate contact with him unless he does first. Give him some time to figure it out. I think he seems to be just on the fence right now and pushing him to make a descision might not be what’s best. This should be his decision and I think he’ll choose to get back with you :). Just be patient and hopeful. I think it’s going to work out
I’ve been having a rough past few days, had the last 2 days off work and been thinking about her a lot. I still feel like I ruined my entire life by checking her texts, she doesn’t trust me anymore. I ruined our relationship with my insecurity, I ruined the trust we had built up over two years, we were great together and I ruined that, I ruined the place I was living, I hurt my best friend in the world, and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I feel like I ruined my entire life by checking, I made a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I feel like I deserve another chance with her, but ever since j did that she won’t talk to me, she won’t really open up to me, she wouldn’t even really kiss me, she told me she loved me a few times afterward, I don’t know if she really meant that. It just hurts so much sometimes. It helps me to write my feelings down somewhere though so thank you for listening at least Carey. How do I deal with this?
I feel I need some motivation or reason or logic to drive me forward to say that, yes what she is doing is okay. But I can’t really find it, I don’t understand why she would talk to me and then just suddenly stop. Maybe I came on too strong, maybe she started seeing somebody else. I suppose it doesn’t really matter, I just don’t know what to do next. Maybe I give her some time, maybe I reach out to her in a few days I don’t know, I just wish she’d talk to me.
Maybe I should just try to move on and try to get past this but I feel like I’m really close and I’ve worked hard for this I just don’t understand what she is doing now. I need some help or advice or inspirational words to keep going idk.
Hi Carey,
I’ve felt completely terrible this last week. I feel like I ruined everything by asking her to dinner on her birthday and now she doesn’t want to talk to me at all. I’m so scared I’m going to lose her forever.
I sent her a message on Thursday basically asking to explain if there was anything I could do to make her feel better and if there was anything I could do to help her to get to the point where she is ready to be friends with me. She hasn’t responded to that. I don’t know what to do. That was on Thursday last week a day after her birthday. The other guys birthday was on Friday and I’m worried they’ve started seeing each other or something after that. I am so sick of dealing with all this emotionally and mentally. It’s really taking its toll on me if I’m honest. I’ve had a lot of thoughts of ending it all lately. Not because she isn’t with me but becAuse I just feel terrible about myself.
I feel like this is the lowest point in my life right now. I don’t know if I should keep trying or just move on. I’m so angry with her half the time, I’m sad the other half the time. Everyone tells me I should move on from her and find somebody else. I don’t really want to find anyone else, I felt comfortable with her and somebody new is scary. I have to do all that work to get on the same level as I was at with her and I really don’t want to do that. I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I’ve been watching some motivational videos that say there’s no easy path to success and failure is necessary if you want to get something, in many walks of life. I’ve had some winds and some losses with her lately. Right now I’m on a heavy losing streak and it’s taking its toll. Maybe I should stop playing the game but I honestly think if I can get some wins back under my belt I can get with her again. I just don’t know how to do that. Maybe I back off for a few days and give her some space. She did say she isn’t ready to be friends yet. I wish for the life of me I knew why. She said not yet to the second coffee. It’s hard but I need to hold onto that. I need to remember that smile she gave me when we met up for coffee originally. God I miss her.
I’m not as strong as you are Carey, I feel weak lately, I feel if she starts dating him I won’t be able to make it through it. She said she wanted to be single for a while, I just hope that when she’s ready for a relationship I can be the one she wants to be with. I really do. I want what is best for her, but I believe I am a good option for her as well.
I know what you mean about feeling empty. It’s sorta where I’m at as well. I’m alone with a lot of my friends trying to help me which is great but they all tell me to just move on from her, but I feel I am actually close to getting her back, I have done all the work, we had a great coffee date, but since then she’s kinda shut me out again, and I don’t know what to do now moving forward.
Hope your finals are going well buddy
I just feel like she’s constantly talking to this other guy and probably eventually going to be with him and has just been waiting an appropriate amount of time before she starts to see him again. I can’t deal with these thoughts, if she was already dating him I would be sad but at least I would know, I feel like I’m slowly watching her slip away from me while I can’t do anything. I wish she would just talk to me some more, I want to help her, I still care for her. I don’t know how long I can keep this up for.
Hi Carey,
Had a pretty terrible day yesterday honestly. It was her birthday and she didn’t want to be with me on it, I didn’t talk to her yesterday. I thought about it but maybe it’s best to leave her alone.
I might try to get something out of her tonight, she did tell me that she wasn’t ready to be friends with me yet. And wasn’t ready to have an in person conversation but she did appreciate me asking her to dinner. My therapist told me on Monday to try to ask her why she is putting up these barriers for me and if there is anything I can do to ease them up for now. She seems really hesitant to talk to me about anything right now and that could be for many reasons honestly. I think it might be wise to try to get something out of her. It might go well it might not.
I understand you think I should try to move on , but she did say she really wanted to be friends with me just not right now. Maybe I can figure out why she is thinking like that and then continue to move forward with that. She has to trust me as a friend I think before we can be more than friends. I’m a bit scared she might try to friend zone me if I go this way but I don’t see any other option.
Good luck on your finals my friend.
I think I pushed her further away from me and she’s probably put up her defenses again
I think I sounded pretty cool and calm and collected when I called her. I just wanted to present her with the idea of this whole thing. I think I sounded confident. She didn’t have any plans so I just went for it. She said “no, but thanks for the offer” or something like that. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know why I’m even bothering in the first place. She doesn’t seem to cAre about me, I don’t think she wants me anymore. I don’t know what to do.
I got ahold of her on work chat but I think I made myself look like even more of an idiot and she didn’t really respond super well, she just seems completely closed off and uninterested in me now.
I went through some of our old conversations on Facebook when I was actually helping her get through the accident thing and she would actually talk to me then. Reading through that was nice. But now I just hurt. I feel useless. I don’t know what to do now or what to look forward to. Should I ask her how her birthday was tomorrow.
After I asked her if she wanted to get dinner with me and she said no, somebody asked if she was doing anything fun on work chat and she said she didn’t have anything planned, which made me really sad. It’s like “hey I friggin asked if you wanted to do something”. I feel worthless. I just want to be with her. All this I did for her and now she wants none of it. I don’t know what to do. What do I do now? Should I just give up and let her go after this other guy?
She said no Carey, I’m sad and I don’t know what to do now. Why do I even bother with this she never wants to talk to me anymore and doesn’t care about me. Why did I get into this in the first place
I think maybe if I preface that expectation with the fact that it’s super casual and it’s okay because it’s her birthday and she can decide what she wants to do.
Hi Carey,
I’m a bit doubting calling her today after talking with my therapist. My therapist said that she’s being pretty clear about her boundaries and me calling her and asking her might cause me to disrespect her boundaries and that isn’t really good. I still kinda want to call her today so I don’t know what to do. What do you think?
I’m thinking about maybe talking to her about if I can help her bring down some of her boundaries sometime tonight before I call her and then if that conversation goes well then maybe I’d call her tonight or tomorrow but I don’t know what my best course of action is. I suppose maybe I shouldn’t self doubt myself. Maybe that’s a bad practice but j don’t know what to do.
Well today is the day. I’m pretty nervous I really hopes this goes well. Quick question, what if she is busy tomorrow night with other plans, would it be weird to be like “well we can celebrate your birthday some other day if you are busy”. And then see if she wants to do stuff on Thursday or Friday or something. Is that a bad idea or should I just go for it?
