AGuyWhoMissesHer

Carey I need help I sent her a text a few hours ago and she hasn’t responded I don’t know what to do. I went to go see a movie with my friends. I thought that would distract me for a while but she still hasn’t responded. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t reply. She is sitting on our work chat right now I don’t know what to do. Why does she ignore me? What is wrong with me? What did I do wrong?

Hi Carey,

I think I might go for the birthday idea. I like the idea of having her bring some friends, but idk how I would like present that to her. Also, I feel like she might bring this other guy if I ask if she wants to bring friends and idk how well that would go. I was thinking about asking some of her closer friends but they are all out of state. Also if I bring it up to any of her close friends I feel like I like the idea I just don’t know how I would pull it off. Does that make any sense?

I mean dinner is a pretty serious step and I don’t want to ruin her birthday by making it about me. It should be something fun, but I don’t know how best to set that up.I have to think about that and come up with a plan. I wonder if I could somehow set up a surprise party. Problem is I don’t really know who I’d invite. Maybe thats a terrible idea because I’d be talking to a lot of people who are close to her. I feel like if I ask her to dinner just with me I don’t really know if she’d say yes honestly. I think she’d probably say no given how things have been going with me talking to her lately.

I haven’t talked to her in like 3 or 4 days. I think I might send her a text or two tonight just asking how her thanksgiving went. I don’t know how well that will go, but it has been a few days. Hopefully she is doing a little bit better or feeling a little bit better about me. I don’t really understand where she is at. I just feel really confused, and I think maybe she is too. Maybe she just hasn’t told me that she is over me, but then idk why she would say yes to coffee.

I don’t think I have all the information and I feel really hopeless about this whole thing, and I don’t really understand why. The fact she said yes to coffee is a good thing, but the fact that she doesn’t reply to texts is confusing. Hopefully she responds well tonight.

My friend suggested that since coffee went well last week that maybe I should ask her to coffee again sometime this week, or before her birthday, since it will continue to be casual meetings. I’m not sure how I feel about that.I think its a good idea I’m honestly just scared she’ll turn me down. Maybe we’ll see how texting goes the next few days. My friend said that we could have coffee and I could basically explain all the things that I am doing to self improve and how I’m trying to work on things, which I think could work in my favor.

Congrats on the new car my friend. That’s really cool.

I want to say thanks as well. You have no idea how much your messages have helped me get through some rough days. I’m hoping the rough days will go away soon. Maybe they will, maybe they wont. I don’t know. You have been a great person to talk to as well. Really really helpful. More than you know. I don’t think I would have made it this far without you. Thank you so much for that. I really hope my ex somehow wants to get back with me someday, hopefully soon. I think your ex will realize she messed up sometime as well. Idk when it will be, but I believe it to be the case.

I talked to one of our mutual friends today. I’m not sure if I should have I don’t know if I can trust him as he’s already kind of thrown me under the bus once before. But that was a while ago. I don’t know why I talked to him honestly. I guess I wanted some insight into where she was at, she said she thought she was doing fine lately, which is good.

He told me that she messaged him when I asked her for coffee and she asked him if he thought it was a good idea. She messaged him apparently wondering if “It was a good idea because she was worried it might get me going again, and I would take it as a sign that she wasn’t over me.” I think that means shes pretty much over me. Probably only trying to get with this other guy. Now, this was before we actually went to coffee. And I feel deep down she could always have feelings for me even though she might say that she’s over me. I mean there’s always a chance she could be hiding something from him. She did say yes after all. And she did say say she had a good time.

After talking to him about this I kind of went into a panic attack. I don’t know what to do. Do I still have a chance even though she seems to have already moved on? Should I just give up? She hasn’t really talked to me much since the whole coffee thing. I don’t know what to do.

God dammit it’s one in the morning, she is the only person on the chat, I think that means she is talking to him late at night. I am so sad. I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do. She left me for him and is probably really happy to talk to him and I just want to not do this anymore.

Hi Carey,

Well I think it went well. Met up with her for like an hour after work today. She smiled at me right away when I got there. It felt really nice. I don’t know if it was because of something she saw on her phone or if she was just happy to see me.

The conversation went pretty well. We talked for about an hour and caught up. I didnt bring up our relationship, or our apartment, or the other guy. She brought him up a few times. I didn’t really ask about him. She got her coffee and I got mine. I offered to pay but she said she would get her own. Not sure how I felt about that.

Conversation went pretty well, lasted for around an hour or so. I think it went pretty well, I think I sounded pretty confident.

After about an hour she said she was going to head out. I thought about maybe asking her to dinner or to go shopping but the weather was kinda crappy so I thought shopping was out. I don’t think either of us were ready for dinner yet though so I didn’t ask. Even though I really wanted to.

She signed the form, we hugged, I said I had a good time. She said she did too. Then we left and I drove home.

So things went well I suppose. I felt pretty good. I sent her “I had a nice time tonight, it was good seeing you.” Which she hasn’t replied to yet. I kinda thought she would.

I opened work chat a bit later, I read she was playing a video game with this other guy. She mentioned him by name in chat which means some people in chat know him or are familiar with him. She said she played something with him yesterday. I really really don’t know what to do with that.

Honestly I think she’s just replaced him with me. I feel like she’s direct messaging him instead of me. Like she’s trying to fill a hole that I left. Then she just talks to him instead of me. I am so confused about what to do with that or how to deal with it. They aren’t dating from what I know but I feel like they are just getting closer together and I don’t know what to do.

I felt really good about today and I felt like we really connected. I just don’t know how I am supposed to get her to want me when she is talking to him and playing with him and introducing him to everyone else. I am so confused and scared she’s just going to choose him. Even though I don’t think she is good for him. I was feeling so good today until I saw she was playing stuff with him. I am so confused.

Hey Carey,

Well I had an interesting day yesterday. I was going back and forth about calling her all day. I was feeling pretty down most of the day. I was honestly pretty out of it and depressed. Had a rough day at work, worked like 3 hours late because something blew up at work, figuratively. But it did mean I was super busy. Since I was so busy I was thinking I would maybe just wait a few days to call her. After I finally got off work it was pretty late and I wasn’t really sure I was ready. I talked to my friend about calling her and asked what he thought. He said he wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t think I was ready but I wasn’t sure when I would be, and I didn’t know when she’d be driving back home. Then I got a call from my college asking me to donate money. I had a lovely conversation with a nice person on the call and I felt really good. So I said screw it, I’ll call her.

I called her, she didn’t answer, left a message, I said the form needed to get signed and to call me back when she had a few minutes. I think I sounded pretty confident.

She called back like 2 minutes later, which was great. Wasn’t really expecting that. I think I sounded pretty confident. I said the form needed to be signed, she said she was driving back in a few days and could swing by my place and sign it. I said that was okay, but if she wanted we could also meet for coffee and catch up. She was hesitant at first, then said “can I think about it?”. I said that was okay and to let me know and that it was just coffee. God I was shaking so much for a long time after that call. I think I sounded good on the call, but man I was nervous for a while. Thankfully I had a few things to keep me busy so it wasn’t too bad to wait. Like 3 hours after I called she asked what time I would be available if we were to do coffee.

So uhh long story short we are going to get coffee after work today. I feel pretty good today. I was so happy when she said she could. I don’t expect too much to come of it. I am rather nervous for this, and I don’t really get nervous for things. Are there any things that I should avoid? Are there any things that I should bring up? Anything that I should prepare for? I never thought it would get to this point.

I feel like its weird she would take long to answer, my guess is she probably called some people, her mom or her friends to ask what they thought. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, probably best to try to not read into things. I know I shouldn’t be too hopeful but I feel like this is a good thing. I’m trying to be optimistic but I know I have to be realistic that it might not work.

Any advice or thoughts?

Any updates on your end?

Hope all is well my friend.

Hi Carey,

I think I might wait until Monday as well, given how things are going with her lately. Which isn’t too well. But I don’t know if she’s just trying to play things cool or if she is just really not wanting to talk to me. Maybe she still just feels nothing for me, I don’t really understand why. So I don’t know what I’m going to do still, might be good to wait a bit idk. But I kinda want to see how things go tomorrow as I don’t know what else I’d really send her as far as texts go.

I snapchatted her earlier today but she didn’t reply. I didn’t really expect her to reply though honestly. I just feel like she doesn’t feel anything for me and is talking to this other guy all the time. It leaves me really sad and confused :(. I just don’t know what to do. This is really hard on me. I imagine it’s probably hard on her too i suppose. I just want to be with her again. I don’t think she does though. Maybe she will and I just need to take things slow I don’t know.

I had a pretty rough day today as well. Sorry you had kind of a terrible day :(. I thought about her a lot today too. Most of it was me being pessimistic about this whole plan not working which was really tough. I just feel like she only has feelings for him right now and that just makes me want to cry. I think all she does is sit on work chat and talk to him. It makes me so scared. I don’t know how to compete with it. I don’t know what to do.

I think I might call her tomorrow and ask her to coffee. Maybe I am just screwed. God I miss her.

Hi Carey,

I don’t think I’ll go back on the chat thing for a while, that was the reason why I didn’t want to go on there in the first place because there is only really pain for me there. I don’t think her ex texts her often or anything but apparently he did sometime last night which she said she didn’t respond to.

I kinda wanted to send her a snapchat or something simple tonight to see if she would respond but maybe that is a terrible idea. I don’t know where she’s at, I don’t know where she’s been at. Maybe she wants me back deep down but is trying to play it cool by not responding, maybe she just doesn’t actually want to talk to me. Maybe she thinks ive moved on or something. I really don’t know.

I know I probably need to take some more time for myself but I feel like every day I don’t talk to her or something she gets further away from me or gets over the missing me badly phase. I don’t know what to do.

One other thing is that there is a form we both have to sign for some insurance thing, which was mailed to me. I think she would need to sign it for something. The last time I texted her she said she got a call saying she might have to sign something and to let her know if she needs to sign it.

I’m thinking about maybe calling her in a few days and asking if she wants to meet somewhere so we can catch up and she can sign the form. Maybe that’s a terrible idea, but it probably means she’ll say yes. I’m a bit surprised she mentioned she might have to sign something. Maybe it means she wants to meet somewhere to sign it too? Idk. Is this a bad ideA? Am I crazy?