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I’m pretty sure it’s only for the morning nothing else. He is just giving me the scraps of his time. And I deserve more than that. If he said “do you mind in the morning?” its one think but he said “no no, in the morning” like no way im wasting my afternoon with you. He is friendly with me. Just that. Trust me guys… Please advise me having this into account and not that I am overthinking please
I do think there is a chance I’m making too much fuss. But I need to know what to do in case I am not.
And we broke up 3 months ago. Not early days of break up. And were together only 5 months
@kaila There are a few things you need to remember here!
1. He isn’t your boyfriend right now, so doesn’t have to answer to you regarding his whereabouts in the afternoon. Asking him makes it looks like you are still insecure, which you’ve told him your not.
2. Him giving you any of his time is a bonus to many cases I have seen on this site. Don’t read too much into it.
3. Morning, afternoon and evening are roughly the same length of time, depending on what time you wake and sleep. He’s actually giving you the best one as its the only one that runs into the rest of the day!
4. You are predicting his thoughts and actions, and predictions are all they are! Only he knows why or what he’s doing! Just let it play out and see what happens..Seriously, you have a great chance at making this work, you need to be the positive and secure person that your making yourself out to be! If your not that person yet then you should still be doing NC until you are, that’s the point.
Again sorry if I’m blunt but it’s all true and you need to hear it to make this work x
The reason I would ask is to know if he put me in the morning so he could just schedule other things in the afternoon or if he did have already things so this was the only time he could see me. That would change things A LOT. Because if he had his afternoon free and still would rather just shuv me in the morning its not good.
Well yes, given that he is not just, as I said, shuving me into two hours of his morning and then thats it. No more day time.
I would like to give it way more time for me to focus on myself and all. But we were together for 5 months only. Its been 3 already. I dont want him to forget about me or date someone else…
And thank you for your guys advice! No problem being a bit more blunt. I am really thankful 🙂
Think you could help me though?
But it shouldn’t matter why or what he’s doing in the afternoon? He’s giving you his morning! Just accept he’s given you some of his time and be thankful for it! Don’t take it for granted..
It’s fine if you don’t wanna give it any more time, just wait for what you’ve got organised and go from there.. This is no miracle solution or overnight cure!
Just meet up with him and see where it goes from there if it ends late at night well all the better 😉
pineapple, if I am happy with scraps it’s all I’m gonna get. He needs to see this is not how he should be treating me. I will tell ask if he can another time of the day. If he says oh well i dont know or to reschedule to some other day, I will say oh let me see then what I’m gonna be doing and later in the week I will let you know. I need my power back. That way he knows I’m not gonna be happy and jumping at the opportunity of his scraps, that I have more life too, that if I am second best, he is too.
Hi Kaila
What I would do in your situation is just talk to him in the morning like you said you would, do not be to pressuring or anything during the conversation, just have a normal conversation with laughs and good times.
Then when it’s time to go, ask if he wants to do it again. When that time comes around, then do it again. Slowly it will get more frequent and then you’ll ease your way back in. It took me about one month. It could take you longer. No rush. Even now, we’re not completely back in love, we’re just talking and in the figuring out how to make it work phase.
Thank you YBSM, good luck with that 🙂
I’ve got news actually. So I was really down all day. It was almost his time to get off work so I thought, ok this is it. Called, he answered, a bit cold but he was at work and said he would call in a bit when he got out.
As soon as he did he called me. He seemed relaxed and happy to talk 🙂 So then I basically said I asked if he already had plans for the afternoon (on that saturday next week). He said not for now. I said that well usually I go out every friday night so it’s not ideal for me. He said “ok, we can do it in the afternoon then. I just said in the morning because the weather is usually better” xD I guess I misinterpreted that one. Anyway I said I didn’t know about the weather thing so I would tell him something wednesday or thursday. He said he would too in case there was a change of plans.
He kept talking about other stuff, we talked about our college aplications. At that point I was getting nervous and rambled a bit I always do that when I am telling something about myself argh. And then I said I was gonna go. I never end the call first and I have read it’s good if we are the ones who do x)
I hope nothing of this will turn back on me.
Thoughts? 🙂 And thank you for everyones input you are awesome
Also at first he said “ok it can be in the afternoon” and later said “i dont have anything for now but I dont know if I will schedule something in the meantime”. So at first he just said yes and then was more like putting me second again. Maybe I am thinking too much I dont know
Hi Kaila,
You are thinking too much. Much like me. Don’t overthink things.
Without putting a dampener on things, I don’t think there’s much point to the mind games most of the time. When you were first together did you do these kind of things to get his attention? If you’re talking about something potentially coming up in your schedule, then he probably will do the same. You said you were unsure about the weather and would let him know so he responded with the same.
I’m not saying feel bad about it or anything, I just don’t know if it matters? Or works?
You have his time as people as have said previously. I think being overly present on this site can sometimes lock you in that insecure mindset. I do it too, every time I get somewhere I start questioning it like crazy.
That’s what has stop. That’s still your worries from the breakup interfering. It wouldn’t be there if you’re in the right frame of mind to get him back. Which I’m sure you are, just keep your head on straight. Be cool.
California, we were together for 5 months. It’s been 3. I think it’s more than enough to solve things in his head. To overcome the negative. He either misses me, and would like to get back, and we start doing it together. Or he kind of would like to get back but is just doing his thing now, and thinks im here waiting so he isnt worried.
And if the second one is true, I don’t want to let it keep like that. Because one day I will have a surprise, a bad surprise. If I just let him be and he keeps thinking im here. That is why I wanted to show him my time is valueable, and I’m not just here all the time for him whenever he wants. And next week I want to get a real sense of where we stand, because as I said he if he is just like “whatever im’a do ma thing and get back to her whenever” I can’t let that go on. I will have to let him know the time is running out… It’s what I feel… I hope I was clear : x
@kaila you are overthinking and its normal but you need to just breath and take a brake haha everything is going great! I’m happy for you you’ll get to see your ex again! My only advice is to touch from time to time and be friendly so dont act like your a couple thats very important if he tries to kiss you go with the flow if he wants to fuck restrain yourself! Dont do it make him wait!!!
But everything is going great 🙂
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