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Posts
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Kaila, good for you! Thinking about your future and focusing on your studies is the most important thing. Im glad you’re starting to have happier days. It does take time and you really will be fine either way.
My ex definitely is in jeopardy of losing me for good. I feel myself moving on more and more everyday and o think he can sense that. If he’s okay letting me walk then he clearly isn’t the one. If he realizes he doesn’t want that then I left the ball in his court to let him know. I really would be happy to see him and catch up. There are many positives I would love to tell him about my life! I left the ball in his court to message me if he wanted to get together in the next couple of weeks so I will see if he initiates. I definitely will not initiate anything.
Im glad you recognize past mistakes – it’s definitely important. I recognize I wasn’t perfect either but no one is. I know what I would do differently next time around with him or someone else but overall I think I was a great girlfriend. I admire your persistence but just remember your emotions are top priority and of it is meant to be then it will somehow work out. I tried a lot with my ex for the first 3 months. We spoke a lot about the relationship, I tried to be light and friendly, tried to hang out but he clearly wasn’t ready so I had to walk. I will say it was wasier to turn my back on the situation knowing I did everything I possibly could have to make it work. Just don’t push too hard – you don’t want to jeopardize your dignity!
It’s hard. When the anxiety kicks in. And I saw him the other day. I was on the bus and he was outside. I might have seen me or not. I liked seeing him. But still it’s hard. I have been thinking how to proceed from here. When should I text. What should I text. It’s hard to focus on my studies.
I have felt better those two weeks where there was nothing for me to think about. When he starts posting stuff that might be related to me it gets my head turning around and thinking about it constantly. I went out yesterday and had fun. Still all I wanted was that we were together in a relationship. Or that I could be dancing with him. But I had fun.
It’s hard being positive…
As I said before I feel positive about your situation. Keep us updated 🙂 I am gonna post on the thread about improving yourself in a bit
I hate this. I was feeling so connected to him… Then he posted that stuff on facebook related to me I felt I could call him right there and tell him to get back and he would be open to it. But because it was two weeks of no contact I didn’t do anyhting. Now a few days ago I started to not feel connected again… Yesterday he posted a picture, went for a ride with friends and although the picture is dark I am almost sure there are two helmets in his bike. I know it might or might not mean something. But just this emptiness is enough. I texted him asking about a place we went near the beach in the beginning of our relationship. I hope he answers and that he is happy to talk again. I just feel as far as I have ever been now. Im so scared. I love him, I know we can make it right. Why?!?!??! Why didnt I contact him? I know he would be like ok she is still around. But at least I am sure he would be keen in seeing me and who knows we could have gotten back to where we were a month after the relationship where he was super sweet and I would ask him to try again argh
Hey everyone. So I texted yesterday. I asked how he was, and about a place we went where we had romantic and funny moments.
He answered at the end of the day and said he was more or less. Answered about the place normally. And asked about my job interview. We didn’t talk for 3 weeks, mind you.
After half an hour of answering me he posted a status on facebook saying he needs a drink and a long talk about his day. if someone was up for it.
I only saw this when I got home at the end of the night. And I answered him before I saw it, 2 hours after he texted me.
I said wow you dont seem good at all, what happened? Then said interview went well and that I had a few after that so lets see. Also asked about his mom.
He didnt answer yet. When I got home I freaked out. Got really worried with him and also started thinking wht the hell why did he post that. He has tons of friends. A lot of them posted there saying they were available. I dont know who he went out with but Im worried why did he post that he doesnt need to do it he can just call one of his friends! Whose attention is he trying to grab? Another chick? Why doesnt he relly on me. Why didnt he ask me if I wanted to go with him? Im so sad! Why did it came down to this? Why did we love each other were there for one another and now it ended and it came to this! Why doesnt he relly on me?
I called today morning to know how he was he didnt answer. Anyway he is busy with work. I texted asking him to call back when he can. I am thinking about asking how he is whats going on. And to tell him he can talk to me. And ask if he wants to hang out later today. Im afraid with that post he might have plans already. Its the second time in a week he has posted about being down. Why ? I dont get it :'( I know its about work for sure. But whos attention his he trying to get?
Ok so he just called me back as I asked him. We had a short talk for 5 minutes. I said I was really worried, what happened? I saw your status on facebook and got really worried! He said he doesn’t even know why he posted that, that was more just to get it out of his chest. I asked if he did meet with a friend and talked. He said he just went for a ride and went home. That one of his friends called him and he talked with him.
That seems weird to me. He wanted a drink and all.. maybe he met up with a girl and didn’t want to tell me.
Also I said something I shouldnt. I said you can talk to me when you need it. He said I know thank you. And I went like “it doesnt seem to me you know that” I think it came out angry :/ i was just so nervous worried a bit sad too…
He said he is stressed with work briefly told me some things that are going on. Thanked me for calling and said after his class later tonight he could call and we could talk a bit more. I said ok, if you want you can meet for a coffee and you can talk. Im gonna be in that area at night so we can meet up.
He said I dont know what im gonna do if im going home or bla bla bla (it was noisy). Well… I guess he doesnt want to be with me… But he said again he would call
Honestly I’m really mad. I’m on the verge of having a talk to him and calling it quits if he doesn’t seem more eager to make things work. I feel like it’s over. Before he said he wanted things to work out but wasnt ready (1 month ago and told our mutual friend the same 2 weeks ago)
I don’t know what else to do. I 100% want him back. And don’t mind doing more stuff to try to get back. But I don’t know what else. If he said “I really REALLY want to get back but I don’t feel I can make things right right now”. Ok. I would say lets do this together. If he is like I dont know I would like it to work out eventually but I don’t know if I will ever get there or whatever. I don’t know what else I can do. I’m getting more and more pissed off by the day.
Please someone give me some perspective, help me solve this out. Please
Kaila,
It’s good that he responded to your text and that he called you back. I think he still thinks he can get you back in an instant, so he’s not worried about trying to get you to love him. You contacted him, so now let him contact you. The worst thing you can do right now is pressure him to make a decision about your relationship, because if you do, he’ll run away. It has to be his decision on his own to want things to work. I know you’re feeling so many emotions right now but it’s so important that you don’t let him know you’re upset. Don’t get so discouraged! We’re here for you.
Kate my dear. It’s been 2 months and 3 weeks since the break up. 3 months in my head is more than enough to get over the negative from a relationship of 5 months and starting to miss me and think about getting back. We havent seen each other or talked for 3 weeks. I thought at least he wouldnt mind seeing me. I told him we could meet and he could talk to me about whats going on to feel better and he didnt even care to have an excuse. Just was lame and said i think im gonna go home after class or go have a coffee and go home (it was noisy im not 100% sure). I don’t get it. The only positive reason I can think of is that he still hasn’t made a decision and doesn’t want to see me because he doesn’t feel ready but is thinking of making his decision. I have no idea. But I’m pissed and sick of this. The two helmets, he seemed to have lied about yesterday or maybe its my head, and the two three times I asked if he wanted to go for a ride and today for a coffee he either says yes or maybe and then nothing.
I could just focus on my stuff and letting time pass. But at this point I think it will only push us further and further away and someday I will have the shocking surprise he is with someone, deleted me on facebook or someting without being prepared for that blow. At least now I can get my power back turn my back before he does and then maybe he wakes up.
Still I am very doubtful of everything so I welcome every opinion. He said he was gonna call today. Im not gonna say anything to him. I am going for a coffee near is faculty(not on purpose) and might even bump into him (again not on purpose) and well thats life. I have my hair done and will be with at least a guy friend.
Another UPDATE: So as he said he called. Actually, he texted and asked if I was still in the area where he has classes. I said yes. We met up for coffee. Now remember I was pissed off. Of course now I’m more happy but still more collected than usual.
He didn’t mind meeting up with me at a place where his friend works and that he goes a lot with a lot of his friends. So either they think we are just friends and he knows they won’t think any of it or he just is ok and doesn’t mind whatever (i’m overthinking right?)
We talked about his work, I talked about trying to get in college. He seemed proud and happy. We talked a few more stuff. It was nice. I didn’t feel he was being more collected than usual, more cold or anything which is a good thing. He was relaxed.
Started talking about his motorcycle rides (from what he said he went by himself on monday). I said he was killing me (he knows how much I love riding). He touched my arm and said sorry. I said yeah you said we were going for a ride and never said anything, in a playful tone. I watched his face change, was waiting for my chance to say “why dont you want to do anything with me anymore” and before I started talking he said “well, I cant this weekend, but what about next weekend? do you want to schedule it there?” (on my phone) I said yeah and he scheduled it too. I was shocked and I hope he couldnt see in my face how happy I was… All good right?
Well… I asked if it was gonna be in the morning, afternoon, or night… Before I could say night he said “no, no, in the morning!”. Like I don’t deserve his afternoon. Like he doesn’t value me. Like he doesn’t really care much and is just keeping me around.
I want to knock the ball out of the park next time. I will either blow him away and he will wake up, or I will have a talk with him. Also I am thinking if I should say I can’t in the morning. So that he knows my time is valuable. And I don’t deserve just scraps. Or I will get someone that will give me their fair time. I got really offended and yes it hurt. I don’t want to accept this. What do you think I should do?
Maybe he already has something planned in the later times of the day? Right now, don’t over think all these details, just go ahead with the letter and see how it goes.
I really feel it’s over… I am thinking of calling tomorrow and asking what hes gonna do in the afternoon. If nothing i will say well morning isnt good for me I go out at night every friday. If he says ah so we cant I’ll just say ok another time then. And thats it. He needs to see I am not here all the time, I have my life too and if he wants to be with me spare decent time
Okay kaila, this could be the biggest mistake you can do! Dont try and overthink.. just meet up in the morning and maybe itll go beyond the morning! Anyway your main goal is to meet up with him and make him see what he is missing out on, a girl who is confidant, happy and beautiful! Plus you’ll be pressed against him the whole time since im guessing you’ll be passenger this is good to bring up old feels 😉 i say everything is good!
Please check my most recent post and help me out a little if you dont mind :$ https://ebpforums.com/boards/topic/is-it-ever-really-over/
Have you thought that maybe he said morning so that you’ve got more of the day together if it over runs? Or that he doesnt want to waste a second of the day?
I think you are being way too hard on him and yourself and you need to try and be a little more optimistic as it is only stressing you out.. The negative feelings are all in your head.You are so lucky that he is seeing you and wanting to make plans with you, dont jump in with the negativity and insecurities, remember, your trying to show him you’ve changed.
Try not to push him away! I know your excited to see him, but its early days! Would you hassle a friend if they planned something for the morning? If not, then don’t him. As currently, depsite your hopes for the future, that is what you are.
Sorry if you feel im being blunt, i just think youve got a good thing going and id hate for you to lose that oppurtunity! x
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