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You post yours and then hit edit and delete it. It’s safer for a guy. It’s 12:41, I’m on right now.
Yes, he’s thinking about you. A lot. The last time I broke up with my current bf, my brother had a military trojan that attached to all outgoing emails…it told you when your email was read and how often.
My bf NEVER gives compliments, never says anything nice, would never admit to missing me…and in that month we were in No contact he read and reread every one of my emails dozens of times. Late at night. When he got home from the bar.
They miss us. A lot. Just as much as we miss them.
Sucker
Hey HRT,
Let me know how your date goes tonight! $5.00 says you canceled.
So, yeah, I continued my stringent No Contact plan by meeting him at Starbuck’s for hours. I planned to act aloof but within minutes was talking animatedly and laughing and all high on caffeine. He laid it out in a way he never did before, I can’t repeat it without embarrassing myself yet he finally showed appreciation…then wanted to go back to my place, and I said No. Then today I had plans at the lake, without him. Tomorrow he has visitation, so it was a nice touching base and we’ll see.
I’m really bad at following rules and guidelines. Really bad. I need to date other people.
The Ultimate,
Sucker
You know, Hrt, when I first went out with my guy 4 years ago he was going to school for 4 years and that’s probably why we never went out again. 4 years later he tracks me down and it’s all good. I can see where she would be willing to stick it out for two years…4 years has her looking at the ugly side of 60.
Just speaking for myself, it’s not money I want…it’s adventure. Can you take her out to Bryce or Zion and ask the busboys where the secret swimming holes are on the hiking trail? You’ll have the place to yourself! Dominica (not dominican republic) is where they filmed “Pirates of the Caribbean” …awesome and cheap. Energy is the currency. Deeds are our jewels. We can get some sucker to buy us anything we want any day of the week.
Adrenaline.
Now over to our other thread and my colossal failure.
Sucker
PS…I want to chat, too!
Oh no, same as you guys…I’m 50; he’s 45. We “used” to share a lot of fun things in common, read each others’ minds, … then it just became him using me. So, that has to stop or we are through. I’m dangerously close to apathy. He’s not worth it anymore.
HT, I think it might be the job thing. She doesn’t want to stop you, of course, but at our stage in life I see my friends settling for the established, boring ones.
S
The “help!” text came yesterday and after I helped lay out the financial aid guidelines…and then sent the doormat email…nothing. Not even a thank you for his fake financial crisis.
He doesn’t miss me anymore because I’m back in the loop, feeding his ego with a little drama.
I know him and he’s all happy again, life is good. I taught him that by my voicing complaints in a nice way, it shows interest and the desire to fix things. He’s smug.
Sucker
Oh, I dated a “previous guy”… The Attorney. The Viagra popping Attorney with FIVE cats who needed to watch porn to get it up. The highlight of the night was holding down the cat with diabetes so he could test its blood sugar. She’s having a WONDERFUL time and the another man moving in for the kiss feels like sacrilege…she only sees you. But she’ll endure the kiss and feel nothing and and the tears will come and the Douche will say, “Are you crying?” and she’ll say, “um, that was intense”, so he’ll lunge but she’ll say she has to go. Meanwhile…No Contact…and she’s home alone wondering what you’re doing…knowing you don’t have any problems with women… what if you get snatched up?
Try this on, ht999…could this be a preemptive strike? Due to the age difference, does she think you’ll dump her eventually anyway?
On one hand my “relationship” has an advantage because he and I share a sexual proclivity, I’ve traveled all over the planet to meet men who are the Yin to my Yang…he’ll never find anybody like me, and we live minutes apart. On the other hand, you two sound more socially compatible, other things in common, and have a better foundation. That is a lot mixed with the addictive chemistry she has for you.
If you want it, things look good for you. Quality men in the mid-40 range are outnumbered 4 to 1. She should take note, you have many, many options.
Meanwhile, Rude Boi did not respond to my email. This is Jack’s complete lack of surprise.
xo
suckerht999,
He knows me too well. His other texts weren’t working but he knew if he asked for “HELP!” I’d be all over it. And now he doesn’t miss me anymore and he’s all happy.
I wrote on your “Reconciliation” … if you want it, I would not throw in the towel yet. If she’s not at “apathy” you’ve got a great shot….she has a lot of passion for you still.
Sucker
Note: Oh, pardon me, I checked and she was divorced for a decent period of time so you are in the clear there. That part is good.
ht999,
Hi there! I think you and I are on the “mature” end of the spectrum when it comes to age on this site! We are the same age as you guys, he is younger…I have to tell you that it bothered me a little. Even with nip/tuck.
My first observation is that you came into her life at a really bad time … you were the Rebound Guy…the relationship that was not supposed to last nearly as long as it did. If I read correctly, she was only divorced six months…she was still a mess. They say it takes a year to get over the D…I think 5 years lol! The upside is, you helped her through a lot and she has these great memories of you in comparison to the bleakness of her marriage. I forever ADORE my rebound guy after marriage and would have him back this second. I never had so much FUN in my life…I compare every man to him. You have all this working for you.
I know you wanted guys’ advice, yet I bring decades of high end professional sales and Jedi mind tricks to the table. She’s getting a little attention right now and enjoying it, that’s fine. Trust me on this…they are ALL losers. They are hiding a wife, they want her to do their friend, they want to borrow money, they have 3 adult children living at home, THEY still live at home, they are illiterate, they play hours of video games every day, they are addicts, did I mention they are addicts, oh, they are addicts, this is for starters.
They are clamoring for her attention and she likes this, kind of, because she hasn’t had it in a while…but if there was an attractive 55 year old Thoracic surgeon, he’d be with a 36 year old bombshell. Losers are clamoring for her attention. They are taking to her to horrifying chain restaurants where the cattle feed.
This is the hard part, and this is the ONLY thing that would work for me…Don’t Call. No Contact. It makes us go, “What??? What’s happening? Where is he? Why isn’t he calling? Oh my God, what if something happened to him?” And as time goes on… we grow more and more crazy, and miss you more and more…and when a text comes in we grab it…and it’s one of those losers with spelling errors, with slobbery lips saying something moronic…and we cry for the loss of you.
Love her and the relationship enough to do this. Let her realize she misses you. We are attracted to men who blow us off. Nice guys finish last. Become the Alpha male and head to the treeline without looking back.
Your friend in devastation,
Sucker
If someone blocks you on Facebook, can they still see you? I don’t know how that works. Don’t block her though, you have to update your status and show pictures faking a fun life. I’m seriously going to climb a freaking rock wall tomorrow and pretend like I’m loving it. Blocking her shows EFFORT, that you care, and you’re hanging loose.
On to the issue. Wow. She needs a breather and chances are this truly does not have that much to do with you. She hooked up with you in High School…She never got to run wild, go out with the girls, go to frat parties (not like she’s missing anything) yet she’s realizing she took a different path and she’s having some normal regrets. There is a chance because she moved in so young, she might have felt controlled…whether you did or did not. We are all sensitive about being controlled, I feel controlled even when I’m with a wuss I’m touchy about it.
I had a B.F. who would go points over and over, trying to convince me…and it really made me resent him. If he made his point and stopped, I would have respected that more, it was exhausting.
She needs to experience things on her own a little bit and this is key…she needs to MISS you and APPRECIATE you. She will get to that point in time. She will remember all that you’ve done for her. I’m a total hypocrite because I just broke the No Contact rule today (and it blew up in my face)…be strong even if I can’t be.
ALL the best. You deserve it.
Sucker
Oh, my ex faked to the public like he had it all under control…I know he even dated, which I didn’t care about. Your guy might go out and it will just make you look ALL the better. Is she going to look him directly in the eye and totally connect with him? Be ladylike in public? And really…does she know what he really wants, really really wants when it comes down to “it”?
She will fail. You will win. You will only look better in comparison if you gave the relationship your best.
He hasn’t asked her out because he’s waiting for you…and he’s not feeling her that way. He’s not over you. Every time they are together, you are in the room. You know what I’m saying is true. Chin up, chest out…you got this.
Sucker
