sucker

Trust me, he’s miserable. My ex is THE most disciplined guy ever, he’s macho, closed mouth, unemotional… after our last break up his house was trashed, food rotting, he stopped working out and got a massive $1500 tattoo. THIS break up is my doing, I’m in No Contact, I’m sick, obsessed, devastated…and he has sent a couple texts. Everybody is miserable. So cheer up…your ex is miserable. lol.

love,
sucker

Double7,

I’m glad you saw my reply. To answer your question, I walked out 9 days ago in the evening. I had to. His complete lack of appreciation, respect, arrogance, usage was sucking me dry. In the beginning, he chased me relentlessly, wined and dined, you know the drill… now it was almost distilled down to blow and go. Sorry to be so crass. And he never took me anywhere. And we were both embarrassed to be seen with each other. I like suits with nice vehicles, he likes motorcycle sluts. I am older than he is, yet I look okay. I don’t have any problems. Unfortunately we were born with a certain perversion and we are the only match in town…in this area I am somewhat well known.

So, we are in his house. I was faking to be on the rag so we wouldn’t have to screw. I was resentful a few days before about never going anywhere and didn’t express this to him… He had gone to a wedding so when my landscape designer asked me to dinner I went, he’s 16 years younger than I am, and I kissed him just for kicks. I was a time bomb…waiting to go off. So, we finish up with our thing, and we’re talking about weddings and marriage, and he’s talking about this girl, the “one who rocked world” but got away. And maybe if he found the girl who “rocked his world” he’d get married. Oh, really? Is that so. I swear, he immediately looked different to me…I had to lie down. I saw everything, I saw him for what he really was…a player, an opportunist, a time sucker. He wanted more action but I said I had to go. I really, really loved this person…we spent almost every day together. I turned him on to so many things…he is a different person. I never put more energy into anyone else…and it was nothing to him, I saw it all. I kept my cool. I explained why his comment was hurtful to me in an email, telling him we both deserve to be with people who rock our world. Next day…he texts basically “I took it out of context and does that mean no more action.” I said, no more action. I knew I had to do this, to jerk his reigns, if I ever wanted to get him on track. I didn’t know about no contact. he asks, “can I still count on you to help me with financial aid??” Me, ingratiating sucker:”oh yes of course” I said, (now I realize huge mistake) “It hurts, I loved you more than anybody.” He texts: “do more crunches” and a winky face. I thought, live by the crunches, die by the crunches…have your world-rocker get your brat financial aid, you lost my mad skills, asshole. That was 8th day.
7th day: He texts: How you doing? I stupidly text, “not good” giving him power UGH! I didn’t know! I ask how is he and he says “working out, great stress reliever”…he’s stressed because of no sexual outlet. I don’t reply…but I’m ticked so I STUPIDLY and very immaturely text…”oh, that girl you liked, XXXXX, has pics up!” He chased her, because he loves the pursuit, she dissed him and she is 280# and absolutely horrible. Wasn’t that mean? I was never ever ever mean. I can’t believe I did that.
3rd or 4th day: he texts: “Hi how you doing” I text: “busy update ltr” then I text nothing. Then I find this WONDERFUL site.
8th day, last night: he texts: “How are things?” aaaaand I reply….nothing. Hardest thing EVER. As in, EVER. And I was stalking him online (sorry, Kevin!) and I think he had a rebound date already, which is fine) I seriously WANT him to date, I’m that confident. If we get back together, I want him coming from a place of appreciation. I don’t ask for much.

He is CRAZY that I’m not responding to him right now, I was always at his beck and call. It is because I love him that this has to happen.

Trust me, friends, I broke up and I’m obsessed and miserable.