This is a doozy…

I apologize for this being lengthy, but I am just looking for opinions. I’ve been reading this site regularly for the past couple of days, so I decided to ask for help from you all.

My ex and I broke up this past spring (April). Things had been sliding downhill for awhile. She (19) and I (23) dated for about two and a half years. She was the love of my life, and I was planning on spending forever with her. After the breakup, we continued to talk for the next two months, and see each other/go on dates when we could (she had moved away for the summer). Although things weren’t great, they seemed to be moving in a positive direction overall.

Then something happened. At the end of June, she woke up one morning and everything was different. It was like someone flipped a switch in her head and she hated me all of a sudden. She wanted me out of her life, wanted nothing to do with me, and never wanted to see or speak to me again. I made all the mistakes; begged and pleaded and all that and nothing got through to her (shocker). Below is a timelime of our conversations after the fallout:

July 1st,2nd,3rd, 4th, 5th – Us talking, her being extermely cold and hateful telling me it’s over and there’s no chance of us ever talking or being friends again and that she wants me out of her life forever. She says she doesn’t love me, and hasn’t truly loved me for months. She hates me, she’s over me, she can do so much better, etc.

July 7th – She received a gift I had already put in the mail to her. She texts me saying she was sorry for being hurtful, and that she didn’t hate me. Says she doesn’t truly want our friendship to end, but that’s all we could have. She says maybe we can talk occasionally, but doesn’t want to get too close. We spend that evening talking casually, things are actually friendly. Conversation ends with her telling me she loves me as a friend.

July 8th – We talk about the relationship and it gets heated. I try to convince her of how I felt and she didn’t believe it. She said we never had a deep love. She then says she doesn’t want to talk because I try to get back together with her (which was true at that point).

July 9th – She sends me a picture of something I couldn’t read, the caption was “This is why I can’t stand you”. She spent that evening venting all of her frustrations to me in a very heated manner. I just take it and don’t retaliate. Says that it’s all too late and we will never be anything again and that I ruined us.

July 10th – I sent her a funny picture just trying to be friendly, no response.

July 13th – She texts to see how I’m doing, it takes me two hours to reply and that frustrated her. I then asked her to talk and we discussed the relationship. We didn’t make any progress, just heated discussion. She said she’d never be in a relationship with me again, but she also said the fact that she thought that broke her heart. She then apologized for being mean, and said it was easier to be mean than to be vulnerable. But she said that even though it made her sad, she would never change her mind. She tells me how she’s been dating this guy she really likes who is exactly her type and is everything she wants. She also says she has no feelings for me anymore and is over me. I then try to persuade her of how I felt and it just made things worse (shocker again).

July 14th – The next morning I thanked her for talking to me the previous night. She replied later that evening stating that she wants me to not have any hope, and that she doesn’t want me to hurt anymore. She then says that she truly didn’t want me out of her life, and that she missed talking to me and wanted us to be friends. And that maybe we could hang out when she moves back in the fall. I bring up the guy she’s been talking to and it puts her on the defensive, but it ended up being fine. The conversation ends well, that is when I stumbled on sites like this.

Silence for a few days as I attempt no contact.

July 25th – I break NC and shoot her an “across the bow” text. I try to end the conversation quickly, but she tells me some quick news. I tell her to not be a stranger, and she says she probably never contact me again. I ask why and she says she does not want to be close any more. I told her I was confused because the last time we talked she said she missed me wanted to be friends. She said she didn’t remember saying that. I asked why she didn’t want to be friends and she said it was because she wanted me out of her life completely. She told me I bring too much negativity into her life. I didn’t bring it up, but she then said that everything is over, and that she is over me. She wants nothing to do with me. I sent her a screenshot of her telling me that she wanted to be friends and her missing me. She replies with “Sorry”. The conversation ends on a sour note.

July 26th – I texted her just to let her know some news about someone we both knew. She acknowledged the text, but seemed annoyed. I started NC for real right after this quick chat. I went to a concert that night with a friend and posted a couple pictures on Twitter. (She had already unfollowed me on Twitter, but my profile is public)

July 27th – I decide to change her permissions on my calendar so that she couldn’t see all of the details. Apparently, she got an email alert about it. She called me later that day and I ignored it. A few minutes later I got a text saying: “Just wondering why you felt the need to share your calendar with me”

So, I’m on day 12 of NC and it’s awful. She unfollowed me on Twitter, blocked me on Google chat, and I found out today that she blocked me on Facebook in the past day or two. She will be moving back to my area in her own apartment in a week or two (currently living with family). I need insight from someone outside of my situation. I’m continuing NC, going to the gym, doing my best. I had a couple good days lately, but finding out she blocked me on Facebook just really hit me hard today. Is there any hope at all? I was saving up for an engagement ring for this girl, and she claims to want me out of her life for good. I wasn’t pestering her on Facebook at all, and I basically was never active on there, so she wouldn’t have seen anything to upset her. I’m so confused about it all. I am doubting that this NC will have any affect on her at all, even though I know it’s supposed to be for me. Thoughts?