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SuzyL, I’ve read your story and am sorry that things have gotten to where they are for you. Would you be so kind as to read my posts? Offer your thoughts? Thx
Sorry to hijack your post duck581!NC is only needed when you are in a Rel. Breakdown or worse (via RR terms). NC is to get your own act together and give the ex a chance to miss you.
For people whose relationship just needs a little work, RR is enough. But for bozozs like me that really screwed up, we need NC and a lot of prayers!
I can relate to where you are my friend. The best thing you can do is CHILL. Focus on anything other than her, I know its hard, its taken me 3 months. Read the 5 step plan here and take it to heart. Do not contact her, respect her space, she needs it. The less you invade her space the better things will be.
Sorry that you had to witness such a horrible scene.
You must have strong feelings for this guy because, based on what you shared, I would think most people would not want anything to do with someone that acted that way.
I would ask you (in a kind way), what are you confused about?
You titled your post “ex went nuts” and that pretty much sums it up right?
And didn’t he break up with you?
Probably would be healthy for you to keep your distance for a while. That will allow him to miss you and reconsider his actions.
Good luckJeremy8655
Sory you are going through this. I can relate to your scene evry much. Do teh NC – it is teh best way to turn things around. I did not havd created a big mess. The less you say the better. Hang in there, it’ll feel better in a few weeksSuzyL
Your last post is very good insight. Thanks. What is the best way to show her in this situtaion? By doing NC them re-address the issues later? I am on the verge of writing a letter to apologize for the angst I have cause my ex by trying to talk about what went wrong. But maybe I should wait?Thanks
Happy to help. I’m in my mid-40s and love is still confusing LOL I am no expert, my friend! I have learned that emotions change and time is our best friend. To answer your question about the letter, no one can say for sure what affect it would have. Maybe ask yourself: are you sending it to be kind, or is your goal to get her back now?
Allowing her a week or longer to process her thoughts, without your input, might be the best way to “be kind” to her. I say this from experience. My ex was very dsitant, possibly even hostile, a month ago but I backed way off and we were able to have a very good talk just last night.
Its hard when there are no definite answers, I realize. I believe a hand written letter is always a good choice. There is great advice on this board. I’ve used it and it has helped communication with my ex and, more importantly, to sort out my own thoughts and plan on how to move forward.
Good luck
James,
I know its hard but try to relax. She is confused and has many conflicting thoughts.
She is choosing her texts carefully, it is hard to know what to say. That is what feels like distance to you. You two did break up and that brings a tide of confusion and an emotional mess. Your best bet is to be patient and give her space and time to come around.Cheers
I just read this entire thread and it sounds like things are going very well. She is being cautious is all, doesn’t want to spill the beans. You are doing the right things, just continue being patient. I know how hard it is trying to FIGURE OUT what is going on in her head. But try to stop it, it only makes you tense and lessens your cool-factor. And this is when you need to be as cool as possible. Find a book to get lost in or anything to distract your mind. It will pay off in the end. Stay strong my friend. I wish I was as far along as you, most of teh people here wish they were as far along as you. Be glad for where you are!!!
