JohnJ786

@patricia12

Yes that’s the average life expectancy, I think there’s a new drug coming out that’s going to make things better too which is good.

But the thing with this condition is that, no matter what, it’s an illness which gets progressively worse as time goes on. And one random infection causing pneumonia could be debilitating and life-ending. She said he had pneumonia last summer and nearly died from it, he was in a bad way. It IS a life full up extreme ups and downs and I’m not sure if she will be able to handle it in the long run. Maybe it will make her stronger but I’m not sure she is strong enough right now to be able to handle that, you know?

As well, I don’t think he worries too much about his condition, which he really should, she said his mother has to force him to go to appointments and checkups when he feels something coming on etc

He had been in hospital the last day or two, being tested for coronavirus (as procedure) and he doesn’t have it but she was saying she was having severe anxiety all day

I asked her how she felt about everything since last time we talked, when she was contemplating ending it with him and she said that she feels more at peace with it now, and that she’s trusting the universe etc…

Time will tell I guess

@patricia12

Okay so her new man has a chronic illness which really makes her so scared and anxious every day and all the time so we had a whole 2 hour convo last night and she’s really considering breaking up with him

Basically she realises she’ll be in for a life of heartache if she stays, and she says she comes close to it like “no I can’t do this I have to leave” and then forces herself to think he’ll be okay it’s okay etc

But reality is, he’s only going to get worse and I don’t think she’s ready or capable of wanting that kinda life at all

She kept asking me “what do I do” “I should end it right?” “Why am I in this situation” “How do I even go about ending it” etc and I told her to take until the end of the weekend to decide what she does, so I really think she is going to break up with him as she was saying it’s the only thing she thinks about now, is worrying about him , and it’s driving her crazy

It’s a really bad disease and I do really feel bad for him, but he deserves someone who’s ready to set their life aside and be ready for a life of heartache and constant worry just to be with him. I think the fact she’s having doubts this early, that she’s going to break up with him

But I never know with this girl she could do a complete 180 and decide she’s okay with it. I guess we’ll see

Today she has been more responsibe to me and actually was kinda flirting with me too, telling me to “use my good looks” to start a YouTube channel or something along those lines haha. Then I said I might and she said “you have the looks for it too”

Lmao

@patricia12

Yes they dated in 2017 but they would mainly only see each other in college.. once the break started they wouldnt really see each other.. then in 2018 she only saw him in May of that year and no other time.. then only a handful of times like I said in 2019.. so I dont understand why/how “real” feelings developed over texting or anything..

I’m not trying to sabotage them, I guess I am just asking to feel better myself

We talked again last night as she messaged me, she basically said that if she knew last year what she realised the other night (about me being coerced into hurting her), it wouldn’t have affected her as much, and she doesn’t see me as someone who caused her pain anymore, whereas before she did and would say that James is the only guy who had never hurt her and was always sweet to her…

She also said that if we were still involved In any way, she would not have come to the realisation she did the other night, where she was able to genuinenly forgive me for hurting her years ago.. she would always hold it against me and was the reason why she ended things end of 2019 with me..

When she said the “if we were still involved” thing, I asked if she meant if we were involved like we were recently, and she said she wouldn’t say we were involved recently… I asked her “December?” and she said she wouldn’t consider us involved then and she’s sorry about that..

She would literally be telling me how much she loves me, how no one gets her or knows her like I do, how I’m the love of her life, she cant wait for our future together, we’d be talking about kids names, she would ask me would I teach our kids her mother tongue or my mother tongue (I said hers, and she said “Ok good”) and she would even ask me if I am just a “fun time” to her.. she said she didn’t see me as just a “fun time” … she was also concerned that I would lose feelings for her before she came back, and made me promise I wouldnt… she also thought one day I DID lose feelings for her.. on 24th December, she was saying she wishes she could give me all the love in the world and that I’m “her John” and that she is so proud of the man I am…

How can you call that not involved?

I feel she feels too guilty to come face to face with the reality that we were involved in some way back in December (and the preceding months) as she is in a new relationship 2 months later… I doubt James knows any of what she would be saying to me back then, she has only told him we are “good friends” …. So I think she is saying “technically” we weren’t involved, but telling someone you love them everyday for a whole 3 months is definitely being involved…

I don’t know why she would say we weren’t? Do you have the same viewpoint as me, that it’s because she feels guilty about it and is choosing to disregard it?

I dont know why, but I woke up really missing her and really wanting her back… she was always my girl and for the past 3 years she would always be so obsessed and head over heels for me even after we broke up and for all of last year…

Now she is in a new relationship, she comes back in 5 months which is so soon, and I feel they will end up lasting forever 🙁 I just dont know.. I really want her back but I just dont know what to do as they are now “Serious” … 🙁

I am going back to NC though for a while until I forget about her.. I give myself a month or two

I’m not even sure if she will miss me as she has him to fall back on now..

@patricia12

So we talked today, and she told me he asked her over the phone to be his girlfriend.. she said she thought for a sec maybe this is moving too fast, but that they had been acting like they were in a relationship for the past month now and that she’s not too fussed about the label as they don’t mean anything to her, and that if a label means something to him then she is happy about it..

She also said she thinks he meant a relationship in the sense that now, they have that security and time and space to figure out if this is what they truly want.. I don’t know if she sees it as a lifelong committment, but I know he definitely does

She says she won’t talk to him about it because they don’t talk about very serious topics, and that she doesn’t love him as they’re “not there yet” and she doesn’t want to talk to him about the relationship and what it means, and what the expectations are because she doesn’t want to deal with that “drama stuff” right now

She says she is happy being in a relationship with him now, because there are no expectations and no baggage and they are just happy being in the present… obviously being in a relationship means there are some expectations? ie you only get into a relationship when you see a future with this person, NOT when you just like them a lot.. right? thats what dating is for, or am I wrong here?

She says she is happy to be his girlfriend though

2 months ago, she would be telling me how she can’t wait for a future with me, would be telling me everyday how much she loves me etc.. and 2 months later she is in a “committed” relationship with the guy she always told me not to worry about, as it “didn’t work out” with them and “won’t work out” with them.. she would reassure me so much when we were together, now a year later after those reassurances they’re together lmao

It seems like TEXTBOOK rebound relationship to me, as she is just saying how she is happy being in the present with him and taking it chill with him.. I know if he never asked her she would’ve still been happy with him right now… it blows my mind how people can do this

What do you think of this? All my friends are saying she is acting extremely weird and jumping into a relationship which is destined to crash and burn once reality hits… I feel the same way but I don’t know, she falls in love very easily and becomes attached very easily and this stable option may just end up being the “love of her life”, the title which was once reserved only for me, for the longest time…

We had a short convo about why I respect myself enough to walk away from this, and that’s what I’m doing, I never want to speak to her or hear from her again I am truly and fully, done.

We used to call each other “frog” and “dog” when we first started dating and I told her “Bye frog” and she replied “Bye dog” and we left it at that

The only only ONLY way I would ever take her back is if she told me she liked me, apologised profusely and begged for me back and worked hard to GET me back, that is the only way I’d take her back, but we all know that will never happen..

It rubs me wrong as she says they get each other well.. but they can’t even talk about serious topics.. how good is the connection when you’re hesitant to speak to your s/o about serious topics?

This seems like a textbook rebound to me… let me know your thoughts

@patricia12

I always see it online, that NC is the best option.. but before, staying in contact w her as friends has worked for me to get her back, and even for him to get HER back from ME!

I am kinda having cold feet… I was telling her last night how I’m proud of her etc, and she said the same..

Do exes always start to miss the person, even if they’re “with” this new person? I keep feeling like it will just drive them closer… It scares me a little bit :/

Like I really want to maximise my chances of getting her back, but I don’t know how! I feel NC is more about moving on yourself and feeling better without her.. which is nice and I hope that happens for me but I do really want to give it the best shot

In your honest opinion, if you were in her shoes hypothetically, what would allow her to come back to me? Being close friends and getting closer and talking everyday, or going radio-silence? Won’t radio silence send the wrong message? Idk…

@patricia12

Thanks for the advice! We actually had a short conversation last night, she had a question and went on a rant about something she read earlier in the day

We ended it off with goodnights, but we used to call each other “frog” and “dog” when we first started dating in 2017 and I signed off with “Goodnight (frog emoji)” to which she replied “Goodnight (dog emoji)” it was pretty cute haha

I know I keep breaking NC but I am going to stick with it from today..!

When the NC period is up, I’ll contact her and slowly build that attraction back as I’ve done before, even when she was physically seeing someone else, not over text as it is now.. although seeing her a lot in person helped back then.

I also had a really bad dream about her and her new guy, I worked at a shop and they came in and started flirting, kissing, laughing, etc.. i was shaken up when I woke up..

She asks me still, about girls and stuff, I met up with an old friend recently who I used to date years ago and she said “So how are you and your new gf Rachel?” in a jokey way, when I denied there’s anything there, she started sending winky faces… I told her something about this girl telling me something too and she kept asking who the girl was until I said it was this random one she won’t know who she is and she said okay…

I’m just confused as, it DOEs seem like she is just trying to be buddy-buddy with me by doing this? I know it might seem like she is jealous.. but it doesn’t sound like it?

@patricia12

Sorry for the replies, I dont mean to overwhelm you

She messaged me 3 times today, to which I only replied to one that was this morning as I said before

She tweeted something earlier, I think it was song lyrics that went like “to know you is to love you and i love you even still” .. This could be just harmless song lyrics but I’m not sure why she would specifically tweet out THESE song lyrics… you know?

I’m not one for checking social media, but it showed up on my feed she also liked a tweet about how dating older men gives you anxiety bc of how they text like they’re about to break up with… either it could be a harmless thing she found funny, or, this might mean they’re getting more and more serious..