Finntoga

Yes you need to stick to NC no matter what anniversaries happen, he is expecting you to act like clingy person and when you do opposite and show him that you can manage just fine that will make you super attractive and him re-think that yes you can work on your issues and change those bad patterns and have the trusting loving relationship instead of gf who constantly questions what he does thinks etc. Nothing drives man a way faster than clingy needy person. Also instead of worrying about these friendship words think of it this way instead of being a bad thing it is good he wants to have you in his life and unlike his ex girlfriends that makes you different from them so it is positive thing not negative because I personally want my lover to also be my friend. Not something where if he has issues like the phone or maybe something at work (men are funny creatures they like to be seen the strong one and don’t always share problems until they have to)and he pulls away a bit or is not as attentive as usual and then his girlfriend immediately assumes issue is the relationship oh my god he will leave me and bombards him with messages he will feel hurt and anger due to mistrust and also angry because no one likes behavior like that. So what he needs is time to cool off and like others have said he expects you to prove him right and start bombarding him again. When you do the opposite it will make him think of you more wonder what is going on which is what you want right? And then when you are ready with self improvements you want to achieve you approach him calmly and suggest meeting to catch up like friends he is more receptive and will find this new and improved you much more attractive. The NC time only feels long because you miss him but in reality it is very short time when you think of how much time is spent working and doing mundane every day life things. So instead of comparing what was different last time you broke up with this time etc. Think of rather what kind of relationship I want with him, how do I change my negative behaviors so I dont repeat them.What do I love about him and why do I want to be with him ? What do I like about myself and what not and how do I improve those negatives so I like myself to be happy in my own skin with or without him.I do feel that this is not in anyway yet lost cause or lost relationship but it just cannot continue the way it has so time, nc and self development are your answers to happy outcome and like pixiepie said write things down to get an out let. Start a journal the things you want to say to him, put them in that journal and then closer to end of NC read those things again and you can see change for better. You can do it.

@Brokenhearted. Yes you need to do the NC. Look at how upset reading an article got you? Do you think if you get back with him immediately that you could stop your bad patterns just like that? I dont believe so. Like others and I have said he is angry, needs time as do you to work on yourself and what you are doing now is looking for reasons not to do NC so you could contact him again and if you contact him right now then it is well and truly over. No one can tell what will happen in future but as long as there are feelings there things are possible. Just not right now. Take this time to deal with the issues you have so that you have better chance with your relationship, if you get together now there is no chance.

I have been there too The man I was with two years broke it off via email and that was crushing especially as his email was cruel in a way that he acted like nothing the last two and half years had never happened oops apparently he had fooled me and himself for past two years. I have had to break relationship too and it is not fun to be the one who ends it but I have always been honest and therefore it is better to face it and the person and give them the chance to ask questions but not everyone is like that. And it is possible that your boyfriend does not have those answers for you at the moment so even if you would ask them he most likely does not know himself what he wants right now and this where the time comes in. He needs time to figure out what he needs, wants and who he wants and also deal with stuff just like you. Yes you love him now with all your heart, you are in shock and you are hurting but the worst thing you could do for any potential future chance is to contact him. DO NOT email him, text him or call him no matter how much you want to. That will blow any chance out of the window. Neither o you sound like you are in the right mind frame to be together and what you need is the time to figure out who you are without him and only when you know who you are and more importantly like yourself only then are you ready to commit to anyone. I don’t know you but I am sure you a great person and you just are feeling hurt, lost and betrayed in a way and it does not help that you have other issues that you re trying to deal with but what you gotta do is stop listening people who say you will be together or who say you wont. That is not something they know for sure. Time will show that. I really recommend that you just take it one moment at time. If you feel desperately sad have a cry, if you feel lonely this is the moment to rely on your friends and family for support (even if they dont get it but they care about you and that is what you need) and remember what you do have. You have the possibility to work on your issues and become fabulous, you can work on things so you know that you will be fine without him and yes you will have days when you miss him so much or you wish he was with you or random things will remind you of him and then you feel down but this is not a race it just takes time. Time does help and heal. The feeling of hopelesness does not last forever, when you start working on yourself and you get one of those good days in there others will see that and he will get the message fro others. I do believe based on what you told me that he cares about you and it was not wrong to trust him. People just simply do not always do and behave the way we want and hope and that we can’t change. Do the NC full 30 days at least and do not break it even if he contacts you because you need to show him that you are not dependent on him and that is also a way to start breaking those old habits. He needs time and if you give him that space, it does not automatically mean he moves on with someone else, since he has fought so long to be with you so for your sake stop worrying about that for now. What you need to do is work on breaking those habits and letting a person have space even when together with you. Anything in this life is possible but first you both need to be in better frame of mind not to repeat the same mistakes and patterns. So instead of trying to find ways to talk to him now no matter how much you need it take this nc time give it him and yourself and then see if you can talk once you have better perspective to things you both did wrong in the relationship and you feel stronger and look fabulous and confident. That is attractive so try to concentrate on yourself and when you feel sad, desperate, hopeless on those moment rely on others to support you through them (just not him this time) and then see what happens. I know it is hard but chin up you are not alone. The positive thing you can do is work on you. He needs to sort himself out and there is always bit of hope when there are feelings there and I am sure there is from him, he is just angry and feels pushed and cornered with those messages, let him cool down and when he gets to thinking mode then he can work on himself.