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I am 2 months out and I have been a bit better. I still miss him dearly and hope he’ll be back, but I’m crying ALOT less. I still have many sad moments. I almost broke down and cried again today at work. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted, have two books I’m rotating between, school has started up again, talking to guys on dating sites although not particularly looking for anything serious (put on there that I’m hoping to take my time and get to know people, not rush into anything).
Anyway, just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
My plan was to ignore any calls/texts for the first 30 days. But my ex did not contact until day 32. I got such a rush of emotions seeing his call that I didn’t answer and didn’t call back until about an hour later when I calmed myself down.
He cheated on you! You deserve better, honey. Make him see that your life is more fabulous now that you’ve gotten rid of him. Take back your power! Use it as motivation to become a better you.
I think you need to stop looking at everything as a sign and work on yourself some more. I’m sure he feels your anxiety and that is not very attractive to men. Start meditating and you should probably start dating as well. Reading Katarina Phang’s articles really helped me gain some perspective on my relationship with my ex. Although I still want him back, I am just working on myself, dating, and hoping in time he’ll realize what he lost. Stop texting him so much, make some new friends and date some new guys if possible, even if you aren’t looking for anything serious. He needs to know that you’re not there sitting and pining after him and that you have other options. This is not to make him jealous, by the way. This is to get perspective that he is NOT the only guy in the world and you can enjoy the company of other men, and that other men will find you attractive.
My ex took 32 days to contact. I’ve heard of people’s exes who take months to contact, and later admit that they did miss them and thought about them often. It can take a long time for them to give in to the urge to contact.
Yeah, my job requires no brain work whatsoever, so it’s a ton of free time to think 🙁 I cry at work almost every day. It sucks. The first 3 weeks or so I did OK, but in the last 3 weeks I’ve been having daily (sometimes multiple times per day!) crying spells. I don’t know what has made the 2nd month more difficult for me. *sigh* I guess this is the month where I’m actually letting go, and maybe that’s what causes it. That’s why I don’t personally think 30 days is enough.
She will still miss you. But you definitely have to work on your issues, and even continue doing so if you guys get back together. Self improvement helps you long term, whether you get back together with this one or not. It will improve you so that you can attract people who have reached that level of self awareness as well. We have to believe that.
I’m an introvert so I get it, I prefer activities with one or a few people. I’m actually happier alone than when I’m at work or church surprisingly. I cry at work :'(
She will not forget you. She is trying to keep busy but the more people try to suppress feelings, the greater the force when they come out.
Remember she’s expecting you to bug her, so throw her a curveball and don’t!
Most successful reconciliations happen after 3 months or more apart. They really need to realize what they’re missing and decide if it’s worth another chance.
You don’t want to be in this same situation again.
My ex contacted me after 32 days. Nothing about getting back together, we just spoke like friends catching up. Too early to know what will happen.
You have to try and move on. It’s difficult for her too, that’s why she’s going out more, to try and get her mind off of you. You have to do the same thing. It hurts, I know. But you can’t just sit around waiting, you need to get to a place where you’re OK without her.
I think the same exact thing with my guy. But we can’t force or hurry love. If they want us, they will be back. But we can’t let them think we’re waiting around pitifully!
Make sure you’re doing things to make you feel better about yourself, like volunteering, whitening your teeth, mani/pedi, joining meetup/church groups, etc. Watch new movies, read books, etc. Try and keep yourself busy and channel your love into YOURSELF.
If/when he does call you again, or if he wants to meet up, you want him to feel like you love yourself more than you love him. Because in reality, you really should. You are the only consistent thing in your life 🙂
Yes, he broke up with me and knew that I was head over heels goo goo ga ga about him, LOL. I feel like he loved me even though he never said it, it was a strange thing. He once alluded to falling in love with me, but sometimes I wonder if they were just empty words. I know regardless of love he did care, hoping in time he realizes he loves me but trying to let go of expectations. *sigh*
I personally don’t feel 30 days of NC was enough for me. I still have the expectations of getting back with my ex. He called me 32 days NC to catch up and I was happy for 2 days just to hear from him, but then for the rest of the week I started waking up every hour again. Sucks!
Don’t contact her. Sometimes no response is better than a response. She didn’t tell you never write her again, right? hehe 🙂 Just keep giving it time. And try to let go of expectations.
My ex called me soon after 4 weeks NC to catch up and wondered if I hated him. We had a brief convo and I’ve returned to NC. Working on actually moving on, unless HE realizes what he’s missing and chooses to pursue me.
But yes, I bet he thinks of you even if he doesn’t call. He’s probably waiting for you to call first. I know my ex was, and was thrown for a loop when I didn’t. And now that he’s re-opened the lines of communication, I bet he thinks now I’ll be the first to call after that chat. Well, he’s got another thing coming! He returned some of my stuff but not all, I think sometimes they like to keep stuff just in case they change their minds!
