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@between1stand
Well he has been the one to contact me first, adding and deleting, coming back to me, talking about the two of us obsessively like getting back together and such….
I guess you haven’t read the whole thread he is also codependent… I tried to break it and he couldn’t. He just was hot and cold talking to me Bc he WANTS me and he told me that he wants me to be affectionate loving etc. also I’ve spoken to him and know he is not flirting with anyone else. We’ve spoken in depth. He was the one who talked about us back together cuddling and all this stuff first. Not me hope that helps@finntoga
Well yeah, he talked about getting back together more than just the pictures he talked about other stuff w us too..Hey girls, I needed a little break. Things went from bad to worse. I just know he is not seeing or flirting w anyone else based on multiple things. That being said, the posts that stated oh he probably is etc , well I wasn’t strong enough to read those without becoming overwhelm by irrational fear an anxiety. He is obsessed w me also I think it’s just how codependency goes… I want to break that though.
Anyway two days ago I asked if he could get dinner. He said nah can’t. I asked why. He took a video of him walking to a meeting.
I said something like lol looks like fun. And told him I was gonna send pics and or video to him. I was just getting dolled up to feel good about myself and I looked dang beautiful so I sent him some pics and also a video. I also asked if he could meet up after meeting he said he had to get home.Anyway he stopped responding to me and I sent some videos of me with this Spock plush which is an inside joke as well -.-
I was annoyed and then went to sleep told him I was gonna sleep. Woke up and he had told me to stop taking screenshots of his stuff and he said thank you. I groggily responded which was a mistake for multiple reasons. I went off on how I hadn’t taken screenshots in our convo that was him and said stop being cold. And said he was being hot and cold etc and how I was gonna get off wnapchat for a bit Bc he seemed to still be harborin anger and I wanted to start fresh, none of him talking about being back together and then just short replies. Anyway I ended up blocking him Bc I was trying to delete what I sent Bc I regretted it. Well blocking him didn’t delete what I sent and when I unblocked him it was just there and I had deleted me from his friends and him from mine.
So then I added him back
When I woke up he had read what I said when upset and he hadnt accepted me back.
Then I unblocked and requested his other account well I thought it was. Like his one we talked on would be like sam.abc and the other was abc.sam
So abc.sam added me back and then I asked was it my ex Bc he was looking at all my stuff. He said yes. Also when he added me I said something about two snapchats. I’m guessing abc.sam is newer and he only got back on Sam.abc Bc he knew I had the other one blocked.
Anyway he added me on the other and I said add me on the other one back Bc I made an oops and deleted me from his by blocking etc
Anyway he said it was his.
Then I asked again about the two snapchats. He read it and blocked me
I’m guessing it pissrd him off Bc he thought I wasn’t trusting againI think both of us have to work on us still more. Emotions are too raw. I know he hasn’t moved on and he isn’t talking to any other girl but I can’t take this.
I had stupidly sent crying videos on the one he hadn’t added me back yet (I’m only blocked on one)
And he hasn’t looked at those Bc hasn’t added me.
And the other one I’m still blocked
Guessing he will undo that like always but I need to break this cycle I am day 1 nc today.
He wasn’t ready when he reached out and I should have realized that . He wants me to be loving and stuff but I want him to make that effortYeah, he said cool cool. So I’m glad I stopped there too. I think the most likely option is b. I don’t know about c but I know d is the most unlikely considering he wants us to move forward and wants to think only of me etc etc. but idk I think he’s angry or expecting me to behave a certain way… not quite sure. Time will tell. He was the one bringing up getting back together and wanting to, not me… so I don’t think he’s dating or talking to other girls…I just know he isn’t. But I know that’s not the point of your comment 🙂 If I am keeping him entertained that he’s a jerk lol.. but seriously. And then he also lied to me when talking about wanting to move forward, etc. He is still in very immature state and I didn’t like the ultimatums ESPECIALLY bc he could not stick with them at all. I think that’s the thing I think he’s still angry and needs some more time. He can say bye to me all he wants like he did but then he kept coming back… and knowing his personality is a bit obsessive like mine i know it’s just me… no one else at the moment.. and that the mix of obsessive personalities can be very dangerous.
I have snapchat deleted now for my peace of mind..
Yeah, that’s so true about other people’s timelines.. I do want instant fixes I’m not sure why I do… probably related to some impulses with the eating disorder too… and then it ends up hurting me. And yeah it’s super super annoying. I’m pissed he didn’t respond when I said i missed him but you’re right maybe… maybe he thought i was trying to goat him into meeting me… and he could see through that? idk. I’m just going to put no effort now. I think I wanted the last response to be from him so I could have the power to not respond back.. not the healthiest I know. :/
And yeah, I guess when he contacted me I didn’t know what the heck was happening because he was treating me exactly like his girlfriend again… like he didn’t even move on at all or take a break to work on himself. I don’t think he’s moved on one bit.. especially by using terms like “making love’ and telling me stuff about how he wants to think of me when he self pleases bc he doesn’t want to think of anyone else.
Idk. Bottom line is I can NOT keep contacting him and responding because in his mind that communicates that I am OK with this. When in reality, I am not. I keep contacting trying to control situation and meet up… but I am starting to see that is not working. I want to get back to that better place as well.
I think he still has strong feelings for me due to this push and pull behavior… I think Kevin talked about that in a post… I just don’t like how he is behaving either.. I will try to take it day by day without looking at all his stuff too. Took instagram off my phone for the meantime as well 🙂 also past data w him has told me if I don’t say anything, then he freaks out and does… so I will wait. Work on my patience and self control and impulse control too.
And taking a break from snapchat. Like keeping it deleted for a bit Bc my old behaviors have been triggered and I need to put me first
Do you think he just doesn’t care or love me anymore? A week ago I thought he did :/
Or maybe he is just simply not ready? I’m going to go with that for now
Yeah I had sent something this morn saying I am almost done w this tv show I fell in love so funny then said alps morning I sleepy. All he said was “cool cool”
So I am FINALLY taking your advice. I deleted snapchat after I read his thing… I did not respond … And I plan on staying off snapchat for a few days Bc he clearly isn’t ready and I’m done acting clingy again I have fallen back a bit but time to crawl out of holeYeah this morning I’m still feeling upset/./haven’t said anything else..he hasn’t said anything back to what I said, I just have deleted snapchat then will add for a second then delete again etc and that’s helping. I know you’re right he is not ready and not showing me completely not ready and not showing me any effort. He was but now he’s not… So now I can show 0 effort at all like absolutely no effort. If he says something I will probably not respond unless it’s super relevant… So I plan to start acting like him and ignore him back and I know he will notice me saying nothing I think I also will hold back w the public snapchat posts too. And I do still love him but I want the him I know is there, not this jerk side I hope he’s just angry and will apologize but idk. And yeah idk why he hasn’t asked me to meet up i am guessing Bc I upset him shortly after but even with hat he needs to control his temper. Like from beauty and the beast uaha
Yeah, he read it and also looked at my public update… it’s just annoying i feel he is playing games trying to test me and such. He isn’t ready. You’re right. And maybe I’m not either I gtried being how I used to be and he just seemed to assume I hadn’t changed from my behaviors at all. I’m still sobbing. But I know saying nothing is probably the best thing. If he says something which idk if he will then maybe I will ignore him bc I’m actually very upset.
I deleted snapchat off my phone for the moment. I may re add some time tomorrow night to see if he has sent anything so then i can open it and then not respond… idk.. or i can just not go on for a few days at all. that may give me a good break…I’m taking responsibility for them I just have had a hard time controlling them. I stupidly had sent a picture of this stick figure i drew to him to. I just feel likeI’m coming off desperate and the honest truth is, I just want to know if he is still the person I thought he was and/or if I still love him. He has been such a jerk and I honestly don’t know anymore. I need to see him in person and talk to him to see how I feel. I also do care about him and don’t want to go on a date with another guy if my ex could possibly be how he was before the cycle continud. He was loving and caring and sweet and so nice. He was protective of me and followed up and made me feel better. I feel he views me completely different now. You’re right about the creepy thing. I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. It does bother me. I wouldn’t say that to him bc it could be misinterpreted.. and if i did i would say like “creeper :p ” or “creepy :p”
I just am incredibly heartbroken. I don’t think we are on the same level as bad. Sure, I have been slipping up but I haven’t been mistreating him. I dont know what to do. It kills me inside that he has that picture of me and hasn’t seen me in person. That’s another reason why I keep reaching out. And I know to him it’s coming off as me probably desperate for him. Heck, he clearly has himself on a pedestal. and he shouldn’t be. He has no right to treat me how he has been treating me. He is not on a pedestal. Yes I love him or think i still do, but no he is not Mr. Perfect in any way. I fell in love with him because he was so kind and sweet to me. I thought we were a good match, and I have a lot of regrets that I didn’t date himi 2 years ago… bc things would have been different. But you’re right. I can’t live in the past. I’m sobbing right now but he’s showing me or making me feel that I mean nothing to him. I really want to delete him off snapchat but I’m scared he just will let me go and never speak to me again or not notice.. idk. I have to think about it. It may actually be good for me. And he never communicated his wishes to me… so I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do.. I just know he expected me to be loving, caring, and he hasn’t shown that to me at all. Should I just ignore him completely? And I don’t know how real it is… I thought he did. I just don’t know if he’s just being a jerk or he’s using me or if he’s just sucking at reconciling. And at first he started more than me but you’re right more recently it has been me. And yeah, I am stronger during the day than at night. I just feel so broken right now. I don’t know what to do. I just want to talk in person and I have no idea what to hink right now. I’m upset bc Idk if he is using me or what.Omg it says he opened it and he didn’t say anything
So I just won’t I like actually need to wait now. I’ve already said my peace and its up to him to make effort I’m tired of making effort. Maybe I should try to move on i don’t really know… Unless he’s seeing if I check and see he’s read it? Idk :/
Ugh he said ok and then I responded again i said something like well I mean the eating disorder has ruled like 7 years of my life and you knew about it and I thought no way you could like me. But it was actually my view of myself. Then I said I miss it. I miss you. Laughing going out to dinner, watching movies, you looking at me and calling me cute then I said I miss you a lot
Now I prob came off as more needy -.- I’m just annoyed I feel like I’m just weak -.- I know I can be strong though and I have been … :/ I keep disappointing myself
My response to him was that It told me when people were typing and it’s kinda annoying actually lol and then I said he did look sexy and I wish I knew he liked me then but I apparently was clueless. And then I said like me? Not so much (meaning not sexy in the workout clothes) and said like I was comfy
So yeah he replied. Just said “ok”
So now I just will not respond. Bc that’s not worth responding to And I’m going to wait a week before I say something first ?
Disaster averted. Maybe he was joking some when he said creepy? idk. because his response was mmmmmmhmmmmmmmm sure
and usually he says mmmhmm when flirting. i think. idk though, i responded and then deleted snapchat so i wont compulsively look lolhe said “they’re ok ”
i responded back and he said mm ok
then i said something
then he was like you’re creepy… you wait around until you see i read it
which pissed me offi was like “false” and said my phone notifies me!
he read it and didn’t reply and i also was still typing.
i also said “and i remember that i had to get you a shirt and couldn’t find the size. So it was a little tight lol. Sexy. Yesterday was the only time i waited bc i wanted to live chat you other times it notifies me bc idk how to turn it off. It was blue earlier bc i was typing about your sexy shirt 😉 and the group”I’m now pissed bc of that thing he said about me being creepy idk if it was meant to be mean or joking but still… rude. I guess I should wait much longer before responding… you’re right, @finntoga
I now am annoyed i texted him. And just cuz he saw i was there too… i was freaking typing. i’m so annoyed i wanted to be like “i care about you but you are not a God” or something..but i resisted..
